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  #81  
Old 18.11.2010, 11:53
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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Are you saying that any woman (or man, for that matter) who wasn't in the mood and still took one for the team is actually a victim of rape? I think the courts are about to be overloaded.

Just as "no" means "no", "yes" should also mean "yes", especially to your longterm partner who is probably not a mind reader and has no reason to think otherwise.
No I didn't say that. What I am saying is that a lot of men believe that it is in their rights to have sex when ever they want with their wife, with her wanting it or not.
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  #82  
Old 18.11.2010, 11:54
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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So how do prostitutes do this then? I doubt they're always IN THE MOOD FOR IT ...
If the prostitute isn't in the mood but say yes and take the money, it isn't rape.

But if the prostitute isn't in the mood and say no, it is a rape.
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  #83  
Old 18.11.2010, 11:58
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

The problem is that there are archaic beliefs from both sides on this matter. Men who think it is their "right" and women who think it is their "duty". You'll still find this in many rural societies in Europe.
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  #84  
Old 18.11.2010, 11:59
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

The key word here is "consensual".

There's a difference between "not in the mood" and doing it anyway because you feel comfortable with your partner

and

not wanting it at all.

Last edited by olygirl; 18.11.2010 at 12:07. Reason: missing verb
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  #85  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:00
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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Nope, but if she has sex against her will because she isn't in the mood, it is rape.
But marriage is about give and take.. more give than take if you want to last the distance.
It may not be that often that you both happen to be "in the mood" at the same time after 15-20 years, so you make yourself in the mood.

If it helps, why not think about some of your on-line friends?

Rape in a marriage is something very different(!)
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  #86  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:02
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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If it helps, why not think about some of your on-line friends?
Yeah, think of me!
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  #87  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:05
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

"l'appétit vient en mangeant."

sorry don't know the exact translation for this but amazing how true this often is also for sex.
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  #88  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:06
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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"l'appétit vient en mangeant."

sorry don't know the exact translation for this but amazing how true this often is also for sex.
are we getting back to that woman who was holding the knife?

Where is your line? [Rape Awareness] (what Mud said..)
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  #89  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:08
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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are we getting back to that woman who was holding the knife?
what did she do?



I know only of that one wicked Sada and what she did...pretty gross!!!
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  #90  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:09
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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Yeah, think of me!
wet by crying then...

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"l'appétit vient en mangeant."

sorry don't know the exact translation for this but amazing how true this often is also for sex.
"appetite comes with eating"....sounds it's only for men
or maybe "the more you have, the more you want" ?
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  #91  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:11
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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If the prostitute isn't in the mood but say yes and take the money, it isn't rape.

But if the prostitute isn't in the mood and say no, it is a rape.
This opens a long chain of related questions.

Rape usually involves some threat of violence to achieve the victim's cooperation. So the victim is being consensual to prevent something else happening to her, such as the rapist beating her or injuring her etc.

Now in the case of the prostitute you could argue that that something else may be starvation of the prostitute (or her children or whatever) if she can't earn that money, or it could be being beaten by her pimp or whatever for refusing to work, or it could be that she just won't be able to buy that designer handbag she needs to look good in front of her friends. So the only difference to rape is that the threat is not directly linked to her sex partner but that it goes via the proxy of somebody or something else but ultimatley she faces the choice between sex and suffering.

And then in a relationship, if one partner doesn't want sex but thinks that if he or she doesn't do it, this may destabilise the relationship, and they prefer to have sex they don't want to the prospect of being lonely. The threat may not be real but just imagined. Is that a bit like rape?
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  #92  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:13
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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what did she do?
have edited post...

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"appetite comes with eating"....
hence my question
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  #93  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:14
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

GOing back on topic, I think there must have been a problem with how the questions were formulated. I saw the report yesterday on UK TV and that is when I thought of it. So I doubt the study was any good.
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  #94  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:18
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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And then in a relationship, if one partner doesn't want sex but thinks that if he or she doesn't do it, this may destabilise the relationship, and they prefer to have sex they don't want to the prospect of being lonely. The threat may not be real but just imagined. Is that a bit like rape?
If the partner doesn't know the feelings, if he doesn't force her.... But if he threaten her to leave or go somewhere else to have sex, hum....

I don't think rape is just about physical abuse of force on someone. If someone point a gun on your head or if someone beat you up or if someone threat you to do something else if you don't accept sex. I guess it is all rape.

So if a men force his partner with fear, I'll believe it is rape.
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Old 18.11.2010, 12:19
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

I got a clear line..when a woman takes out something she's not supposed to have and forcefully tries to insert it into my point of exit.
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  #96  
Old 18.11.2010, 12:21
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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GOing back on topic, I think there must have been a problem with how the questions were formulated. I saw the report yesterday on UK TV and that is when I thought of it. So I doubt the study was any good.
You should have heard the discussion on BBC World News.
The 3 women chosen came from such totally different backgrounds and set of circumstances,
made blood boil, because each one saw only and defended only their own point of vue.

It should be put into a very specific context when such very sensitive topics are being discussed otherwise it causes more uproar and misunderstanding than it does any good for anyone.
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Old 18.11.2010, 12:47
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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The key word here is "consensual".

There's a difference between "not in the mood" and doing it anyway because you feel comfortable with your partner

and

not wanting it at all.
Quite right.

The point is that "not in the mood" does not equal "against her will". And your original post, Nil, said
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What about Rape inside of a relationship? How often some women have to put up with sex when not in the mood, not interested?
So you'll understand why people (like me) thought you were saying that having sex while not in the mood = rape.
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  #98  
Old 18.11.2010, 14:31
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

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Quite right.

The point is that "not in the mood" does not equal "against her will". And your original post, Nil, said So you'll understand why people (like me) thought you were saying that having sex while not in the mood = rape.
You are right, I wasn't clear!
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Old 18.11.2010, 16:14
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

South African shock as alleged rape victim charged [BBC News]

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South African rights groups have expressed shock at a decision to charge a 15-year-old alleged gang-rape victim with having underage sex.
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  #100  
Old 27.11.2010, 06:33
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Re: Where is your line? [Rape Awareness]

Here's a sad case, but a situation that is more common than we might like to think. Some women just can't stop loving abusers.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/20...band-rape-jail
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