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  #21  
Old 08.04.2011, 10:21
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

Introduction !!!!! ......... With that much multiple choice I thought it was a test.

Should I:
a) Welcome you to the forum
b) Comment on your creative introduction
c) Be both amused and scared of your potential on the forum, or
d) all of the above
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  #22  
Old 08.04.2011, 10:26
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

Is this roughly M-THWACK's colour?



I agree, I don't think "apricot" is wholly appropriate.
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  #23  
Old 08.04.2011, 10:31
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

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Is this roughly M-THWACK's colour?



I agree, I don't think "apricot" is wholly appropriate.
.......I thought this might be another test.

eg. "Where does 'Bob from Compliance live now?"
a) the picture above, or
b) the picture below

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  #24  
Old 08.04.2011, 10:32
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

You're throwing around too many big words. Since I don't understand them I'm gonna take that as disrespect.

You've been warned, let's proceed amicably...


Welcome to the forum.

Last edited by Ouchboy; 08.04.2011 at 10:50.
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  #25  
Old 08.04.2011, 10:49
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

Bob, on reflection, your intro has now supplanted my previous favourite introductory post of all time. Congratulations, and a hearty welcome to the forum.
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  #26  
Old 08.04.2011, 12:54
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

Welcome Bob. Your intro is right up there with the one 22 Yards mentions, as well as the legendary's Longbyt's.

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Bob, on reflection, your intro has now supplanted my previous favourite introductory post of all time. Congratulations, and a hearty welcome to the forum.
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  #27  
Old 08.04.2011, 13:30
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

Welcome to Switzerland and Canton Zug!

Please let me know before you start shooting.
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  #28  
Old 08.04.2011, 14:41
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

Bob, welcome! Top intro :-)

There is a shooting club in Baar, very close to Zug, although I do not know how welcoming or otherwise they might be. If you drive from Zug through Baar in the direction of Sihlbrugg, it's on the corner on the right after the 2nd petrol station. Good luck
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  #29  
Old 08.04.2011, 15:37
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

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So, I'm "Bob from Compliance." My three claims to fame are:

1. Convincing my Austrian girlfriend (Katarina) to agree to marry me (I am now a virtual demigod within the profane confines of my circle of habitually envious male friends), and;

2. Authoring the second comprehensive study of equity risk premiums on the Bourse de Luxembourg entitled "A Comprehensive Study of Equity Risk Premiums on the Bourse de Luxembourg" (University of Chicago Press: currently out of print but don't panic as I am working on a second edition), and;

3. Enduring three years as a senior firearms instructor teaching "Tactical Carbine" to an alarming number of guys (and a more alarming number of gals) also named "Bob".

[Two of these three are true, and one is not quite false, but plagued with a host of material detail errors].

In an uncharacteristic fit of detail-blindness (what can I say, the girl threw me off balance when she actually said "yes", I really only asked as a joke and I was actually scheduled for a booze cruise on Lake Michigan later that evening) I agreed to pretty much any condition appended ex post to our contractual arrangement. Specifically:

1. A period of no less than:
A. Ten weeks weeks of paid vacation per annum;
B. At our place;
C. For her mother, and;
D. "Maria Theresa Walburga Amalia Christina" (which I simply shorten to: M-THWACK) her mother's champion standard poodle of a vomit-brown color which I am constantly being reminded is actually called "Apricot" and not "vomit-brown", and;
2. A spring wedding in either:
A. March of 2011, or;
B. March of 2021;
Whichever comes last, and;

3. Should any "Green" or "Energy Efficient" appliance find its way into our home I will be immediately assessed a fine of CHF 25'000, and;

4. On or before May 1, 2011 we will relocate our primary residence to Zug, Switzerland. (Phew, just made it).

(As a side note to all you gents, make sure you actually look up the word "pram" before you agree to be the exclusive "pram pusher" in downtown Zug).

Now I spend most of my time flailing around with hacker-authored utilities to unlock our iPhones before AT&T is in a position to mount a hostile takeover on my immortal soul, convincing local banks that accepting money from an American like me is not a felony, angrily lamenting each day I forget to take the time to actually get a Halbtax Karte, feeling fortunate that the life-long horror that was the Chicago Cubs is finally at an end for me, wondering if some shooting club would like a talented instructor (even if he only has an L-Permit) and reminding myself that, when the Zombie Apocalypse finally comes, Switzerland is a damn good place to be.

Bob's Daily Compliance Tip: "Remember, it's now called 'Document Retention Compliance Event' not 'Shredding Session.'"
Ah another one of those "one post wonders" never to be heard again. Welcome to our humble abode of the idylic and destitute expats needing to know about life in Swiss.

There is nothing impressive about your 3 "claims to fame" and I can categorically debunk each one of them and put you down but that would be a rude thing to do, rite?

I can already see, the only thing you will be "complying" with will be your soon to be wife, her mother and the peach vomit coloured poodle. Dont treat is as a poodle, it will be a test.

And dont fireaway all your arsenal, all in 1 post. Being a firearms instructor, you should know that.

P.S. Whats up with all these Noobs from Zug with unusually long profile names?
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  #30  
Old 08.04.2011, 15:44
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There is nothing impressive about your 3 "claims to fame" and I can categorically debunk each one of them and put you down but that would be a rude thing to do, rite?
Their lack of impressiveness, excepting with respect to my better half, was part of the point. As for debunking, obviously I have selectively modified details that would tend to identify us.

Obviously, the paper I authored, while intensely boring and involving risk premiums generally, wasn't exactly so titled. Obviously, there are no female Bobs among my former students.

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I can already see, the only thing you will be "complying" with will be your soon to be wife, her mother and the peach vomit coloured poodle. Dont treat is as a poodle, it will be a test.
This part of your post was, however, EXACTLY on point.

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Is this roughly M-THWACK's colour?

So you've met her?

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Welcome Bob.

Btw, if you would like to share with us what you are on and where you get it, i am sure a few of us would be grateful

..
Long periods of reading arcane finance textbooks do this to a person.

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Bob, welcome! Top intro :-)

There is a shooting club in Baar, very close to Zug, although I do not know how welcoming or otherwise they might be. If you drive from Zug through Baar in the direction of Sihlbrugg, it's on the corner on the right after the 2nd petrol station. Good luck
Hmmm, I will have to break out my best broken German.

Thanks generally everyone for such a warm welcome. What a contrast from the Kantonspolizei last night.

Last edited by Guest; 09.04.2011 at 01:01. Reason: Please use multi-quote facility -- all explained at http://www.englishforum.ch/forum-support/75712-anatomy-post-all-those-buttons-links-explained.html
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  #31  
Old 08.04.2011, 16:08
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

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Their lack of impressiveness, excepting with respect to my better half, was part of the point. As for debunking, obviously I have selectively modified details that would tend to identify us.
Thats a beautiful thing you have there, nothing more impressive and fascinating then a couple in Love but, however, in my honest and humble opinion even asking a girl (convincing even worse) to marry you just makes you loose 90% of "Man points." The remaining 10% you lose based on the fact that the girls holds you as marriage material.

But thats just my opinion, you can easily call me an idiot and get over it.

You must be a celebrity then. I can understand you wanting to avoid the hassle of signing autographs.

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Obviously, the paper I authored, while intensely boring and involving risk premiums generally, wasn't exactly so titled. Obviously, there are no female Bobs among my former students.
The lack of female "bobs" among your former students precisely explains you authoring intensely boring paper involving risk premiums, irrespective of the title.

Another more colourful and interesting way of evaluating risk in any given industry sector is by the number of female attendees and the length of their skirts in their social events.

I can easily see you losing out, even on credit default swaps.

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This part of your post was, however, EXACTLY on point.
Me too carefully and selectively modified my post to curtail any evidence that would be detrimental to me staying unidentified.

However, my claim to fame is invoking a response from people

Last edited by Guest; 09.04.2011 at 01:03. Reason: Fixed quote formatting
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  #32  
Old 08.04.2011, 16:10
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

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However, my claim to fame is invoking a response from people
= being a troll.

Welcome to the forum, Bob! We need more intelligent posters to counterbalance the likes of Wasted here.
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  #33  
Old 08.04.2011, 16:30
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

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= being a troll.

Welcome to the forum, Bob! We need more intelligent posters to counterbalance the likes of Wasted here.
Have you asked him, if hes with Cablecom?

Is that the new strategy to counter the alleged trolls?

If so, then I like it. I havent been provoked to reach down the deepest recesses of my mind for quite a while or to create an art work of thoughts expressed in words to tentalise the receptors of the dull brains via the bleeding eyes.

I mean, Welcome Bob... We definitely need more like you to counterbalance the Wasted souls here
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  #34  
Old 08.04.2011, 19:49
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

Welcome to the Forum!

Thx for the laugh - looooved your intro

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  #35  
Old 09.04.2011, 01:09
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Re: "You Divide by Two to Get to Dollars, Right?"

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... tentalise the receptors of the dull brains ...


I guess you mean something like this. "Dull brains" is an interesting euphemism.
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