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Old 10.11.2011, 11:38
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Independency vs. being very welcomed

Hi there

This is my first post on here but Iíve been a keen follower for a few months now. Please be kind.

My situation is a bit different to most on here. Me and my hubby are both Swiss but have lived in London for six years and moved back to Switzerland mid September. We have found a great apartment in Winterthur with the nicest landlords ever to be found! They still like us even after our house warming party last Saturday when someoneís kids broke something in their (also our) garden. Also, we both have found jobs in ZŁrich which are very promising. And above all we feel very welcomed by old friends which is really nice.

But still. We have been so independent for six years and the expectations from family members drive us nuts. They expect us to come to every party and get together now we live nearby again and believe me, those family reunions are very frequent. Iím sure with some sort of Ďeducating the parentsí we will be fine, but itís still a long way to go.

So if you consider moving back to wherever your family lives, do think twice before you do it!

Purple
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Old 10.11.2011, 11:42
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Re: Independency vs. being very welcomed

Welcome to the Forum.

Good to hear that things are going swimmingly for you with the exception of the many invitations.
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Old 10.11.2011, 11:43
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Re: Independency vs. being very welcomed

Welcome to the forum.

As traidition has it, we expect you to go ot every single event on this forum :P
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Old 10.11.2011, 11:45
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Re: Independency vs. being very welcomed

I remember the fallout when my wife and I refused to attend a family party. Various family members were offended. It was ok after a few years - we were still invited, but they were very cautious about their demands. We were free to go or not. Now we've moved over here, it's all very different.

I suppose the best way is to put up with it for a while, then gradually start refusing - retains your sanity and gives them time to get used to it.
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Old 10.11.2011, 11:45
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Re: Independency vs. being very welcomed

Welcome back to Switzerland Purple and to the forum. Nice intro.

So how was London for you both and did your respective families pressurize you into coming back home?
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Old 10.11.2011, 11:52
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Re: Independency vs. being very welcomed

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Welcome to the forum.

As traidition has it, we expect you to go ot every single event on this forum :P
Ok Ouchboy, I try my best
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Old 10.11.2011, 11:56
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Re: Independency vs. being very welcomed

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Welcome back to Switzerland Purple and to the forum. Nice intro.

So how was London for you both and did your respective families pressurize you into coming back home?
London was great and I really miss the buzz and a lot more but after careful consideration of our situation there and what it could be here we decided to move back. And no we were not pressurized by families.
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Old 10.11.2011, 11:56
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Re: Independency vs. being very welcomed

I'm jealous - I miss having family time!

That said, I can appreciate it is hard to find that delicate balance where you meet your own needs as a family (especially after being away for so long), without alienating your loved ones.

Good luck and welcome to the forum!
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Old 10.11.2011, 12:01
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Re: Independency vs. being very welcomed

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London was great and I really miss the buzz and a lot more but after careful consideration of our situation there and what it could be here we decided to move back. And no we were not pressurized by families.
Glad you enjoyed your time in London not that I'm biased or anything...

Total respect to your respective families.
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Old 10.11.2011, 12:01
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Re: Independency vs. being very welcomed

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I remember the fallout when my wife and I refused to attend a family party. Various family members were offended. It was ok after a few years - we were still invited, but they were very cautious about their demands. We were free to go or not. Now we've moved over here, it's all very different.

I suppose the best way is to put up with it for a while, then gradually start refusing - retains your sanity and gives them time to get used to it.


I see you understand exactly what we are going through. At the moment I am taking a seat in the back row as it's mostly my husband's family with these expectations probably as they live not far away from us. So far he had two fallouts already and a third is on the way. We thought the best way was to first refuse to go and then gradually lighten things up a bit.
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Old 10.11.2011, 12:09
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Re: Independency vs. being very welcomed

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I'm jealous - I miss having family time!

That said, I can appreciate it is hard to find that delicate balance where you meet your own needs as a family (especially after being away for so long), without alienating your loved ones.

Good luck and welcome to the forum!

Not so long ago I used to miss having family time too, but things have changed considerably in my family since my mum passed away unexpectadly last year. Since then being around my family is not so much fun anymore. And my husband's family is quite demanding. Ok it's not thier fault that most of their birthdays are between now and Christmas.
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