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  #41  
Old 21.06.2016, 22:05
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

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Congratulations. Mensa will probably be fun.
Got 135 at home test and real situation 127.. So it didn't go as expected, but what goes? Next year another attempt. In normal life it is irrelevant what you get from these tests. I have seen so many people managing their life much better with proper connections and pure luck. For me that was mostly because I "have to" be a member of a club.
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  #42  
Old 29.06.2016, 00:52
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

Tried to fill job application to Finland today. Realized that I am already put out of the scope because I don't know the local "hip"-words.. So better to buy a gun and have a headshot
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  #43  
Old 15.07.2016, 20:45
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

Somehow this is interesting. Cannot go out, cannot stay at home. People say "take drugs", while I don't want to go to that level.

Whatever I try to do doesn't work out, if I don't do anything I get sick. If I do something it is the topic for the whole village. What the hell can I do?
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  #44  
Old 15.07.2016, 21:29
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

How do you get sick? Noticeable symptoms?

Changing locations sometimes helps, have you tried?
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  #45  
Old 20.07.2016, 23:48
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

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How do you get sick? Noticeable symptoms?
Mostly it is just a minor depression. Thinking about killing myself, but that is not so good idea as someone has to come and clean the places after that. And it would be horrible to first fly here and then start to clean.. Somehow it should be well arranged before, and every night when I go to sleep I wish I would wake up not thinking about these kind of minor issues.

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Changing locations sometimes helps, have you tried?
Yes, that is a perfect idea! Luckily this latest depression exactly started on the moment I visited other places. I was so shocked when I was able to speak freely, make people laugh and had no need to be concerned about the actions tomorrow.
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  #46  
Old 21.07.2016, 00:14
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

Killing yourself ?! Seriously?! I always believe that there's a reason for someone to exist. I sincerely believe this. And that reason is waiting somewhere or in you to be discovered. Sounds simple but just trust my words. Sometimes little and even worthless things signal something for you to find. Life sucks I know but there are things make it worth living.
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  #47  
Old 21.07.2016, 00:32
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

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Killing yourself ?! Seriously?! I always believe that there's a reason for someone to exist. I sincerely believe this. And that reason is waiting somewhere or in you to be discovered. Sounds simple but just trust my words. Sometimes little and even worthless things signal something for you to find. Life sucks I know but there are things make it worth living.
Yes it is a bit harsh solution, as explained in the earlier post Finnish people have always had a high suicide rate, and based on what I can everyday see, it does not surprise me at all
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  #48  
Old 21.07.2016, 01:07
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

Maybe moving out of that small (?) Swiss village is the first step. Finding a new and a relatively crowded spot could be good start for a change.
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  #49  
Old 21.07.2016, 01:24
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

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Maybe moving out of that small (?) Swiss village is the first step. Finding a new and a relatively crowded spot could be good start for a change.

Funny that your solution is to find crowded spot, while I cannot stand those places at all.. For me going to the office with 12 extroverts is a fullday nightmare.
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  #50  
Old 21.07.2016, 02:04
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

Well I'm trying to understand the situation
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  #51  
Old 21.07.2016, 02:30
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

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Well I'm trying to understand the situation
And you are doing good job indeed
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  #52  
Old 25.07.2016, 01:10
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

Well, after hitting the rock bottom finally the summer holiday started For the first thing I got robbed, and now trying to manage that

While it could sound like an another nail on the coffin, I actually was amazed about the professionalism of this wallet stealer. At the moment when the situation started and ended, I was not even aware that I am being robbed, I was just worried I am ending up into an agressive street fight, and tried to escape as soon as possible.

I was really surprised that when I went to police station to ask my wallet, I was actually asked to private room and I had to tell the story what happened. This police was also offering help to close all cards and help with lost drivers license etc. I went there only to ask if my wallet was found... Really impressive, and they even accepted that my german was not so good.. I was really afraid of being arrested just because of wrong language.

I have seen lot of shit here, but maybe the shit I have been facing is because I am a piece of shit. And somehow it has been the goal for everyone to show that side of me. The feeling escalated when I was in Cannes movie festival and suddenly I was accepted to talk about almost anything and the conversation seemed to lead somewhere. That I have not experienced here, but then again I don't understand the things here well enough to talk about anything.

And lot of other good things happened, old friends from Finland asked me to join them to their holidays, just amazing if this summer holiday will be similar adventure like last year.

I just wish enough mental strenght to face all the things and somehow try not to lose the good things which are giving some meaning to life.
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  #53  
Old 25.07.2016, 01:40
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

Willing to read your Cannes festival story
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  #54  
Old 25.07.2016, 12:42
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

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Willing to read your Cannes festival story
Well it was just something which happened pretty unplanned. I was funding this new Iron Sky movie sometime ago, and suddenly got invitation to go to this private beach party. Decided to go as it seemed a bit special opportunity.

Traveling in France is not the easiest thing with the ticket automats which even locals do not know how to use and I had to use GPS in a train to figure out where to jump off, having the train delayed something like 1,5 hours on top of that. So quality of swiss public transport and the related services like the SBB app for phone wins 100-0.

But anyway somehow I got to that city, found out the hotel, while checking in this portier looked my passport and when realizing I am carrying finnish passport he tried to impress me by talking russian. I was laughing for that quite a while afterwards.

Then at the beach party, I was just hanging around enjoying the free drinks and tried not to cause any problems. There were about 50% of the people coming from Finland. Did I speak any finnish with anyone, NO. Instead I met couple of french guys and spent the evening talking almost all of the aspects of life, learned a lot of new things and had really good time. And I usually don't like to spend time with guys, because it pretty much always ends up to "measuring penises" mentally or physically and in that game there are no winners, only losers, but this was somehow different.

After this event coming back here and understanding clearly the fact that I am so alone at the work and at the freetime, and got really depressed. Pretty much twice in a week had these mental breakdowns afterwards. Which can be seen also in this forum by my postings which usually are not making much of a sense.

But there have been some good things also lately. I had a date, finally were able to go and have a lunch out in a restaurant and spend time walking around and enjoying of sharing the moment. I have been travelling around Switzerland alone, but it is not so pleasant, actually does not give much of anything.

Second good thing was this robbery, as I had to go to the police station and face the fact that the things worked really nicely there and it reminded that everyone are not such a wankers after all. I think that I have been just in wrong places at wrong time, which is most likely the truth as I am not the luckiest guy in the world and the decisions I make usually leads to tragicomic consequences
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Old 25.07.2016, 13:06
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

you should try writing like 'notes from underground' style of novels, I see the light And btw funding Iron Sky
And... How do you understand that you're in depression?
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  #56  
Old 25.07.2016, 16:22
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

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you should try writing like 'notes from underground' style of novels, I see the light And btw funding Iron Sky
And... How do you understand that you're in depression?
This Iron Sky movie is crowdfunded, pretty much in way that you can pre-order dvds and tickets to the cinema. I didn't spend millions

Writing novels maybe.. But recently I have been thinking of making my own animations, short films about something stupid. Just to get some idea how much effort it would take to actually make something real.

And about the depression.. When you don't anymore want to get up from the bed at all, have lost all the interest of doing anything and having only hate left inside, I think that is the time when bells should be ringing.. Luckily this holiday came now with lot of positive opportunities and ended up this otherwise endless sphere.
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Old 25.07.2016, 16:47
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

Cicada phase I guess...I mean, referring to the depression you portrayed. You know, they live underground for like 17 years and they climb/ascend and finally there's a molting phase. Very mysterious creatures and some says that they're sacred (ancient texts).
No idea about the movie industry and hence their terminology
It sounds good though that you've something in mind to be materialized.
As for the animation, you probably have a talent (eg drawing, software knowledge, etc).
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  #58  
Old 26.07.2016, 08:10
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

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And about the depression.. When you don't anymore want to get up from the bed at all, have lost all the interest of doing anything and having only hate left inside, I think that is the time when bells should be ringing.. Luckily this holiday came now with lot of positive opportunities and ended up this otherwise endless sphere.
More power to you for recognising it, for getting yourself in motion, and for stepping out of the self fulfilling fallacy of depression when something goes "wrong".
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Old 26.07.2016, 10:12
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

I just wonder whether having a native language without a future tense would affect the perception of life.
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Old 26.07.2016, 10:14
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Re: From Finland to Switzerland (maybe?)

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I just wonder whether having a native language without a future tense would affect the perception of life.
Well, it does remove 1 of the distractions to living in the moment...
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