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  #181  
Old 26.02.2017, 23:01
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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It's something about the english term concubine that suggests the woman who lives with a man as a concubine does not have the same status as the woman/women he married. Perhaps the meaning here in Switzerland doesn't have that historical weight?
It seems that this is worth repeating/an additional post.

Concubine (engl) and "Konkubine" (German) have identical meaning and connotation. A "Konkubine" is the woman in a relationship of unequals where she has vastly inferior position and power. The man is in a position of official power, typically married, without any intent whatsoever to improve her positon let alone engage or even marry her. Just for example's sake, if Donald Trump had a female lover without any intent to divorce Melania that side-lover could well be called "Konkubine".

The German "Konkubinat" however has no connotations, be they positive or negative. The term essentially means "a (homo- or heterosexual) couple living together (and in a steady and lasting relationship) without a particular legal status". It's a basket term used for anything and everything outside of marriage and registered relationship. There's no negative connotation any longer though there was 50-60 years ago when the German term "wilde Ehe" evolved after the invention of the contraception pill.
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  #182  
Old 26.02.2017, 23:10
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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It seems that this is worth repeating/an additional post.

Concubine (engl) and "Konkubine" (German) have identical meaning and connotation. A "Konkubine" is the woman in a relationship of unequals where she has vastly inferior position and power. The man is in a position of official power, typically married, without any intent whatsoever to improve her positon let alone engage or even marry her. Just for example's sake, if Donald Trump had a female lover without any intent to divorce Melania that side-lover could well be called "Konkubine".

The German "Konkubinat" however has no connotations, be they positive or negative. The term essentially means "a (homo- or heterosexual) couple living together (and in a steady and lasting relationship) without a particular legal status". It's a basket term used for anything and everything outside of marriage and registered relationship. There's no negative connotation any longer, it certainly did 30-40 years ago when the German term "wilde Ehe" evolved.

I have very clear and vivid memories of #1 son (raised in Geneva and with french being his preferred/easier language) very proudly introducing his freshly acquired fiancée to the visiting grandparents as his concubine. Shocked silence, and son was rapidly removed from the room while the english meaning of the word was explained to him!!!
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  #183  
Old 27.02.2017, 00:50
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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I have very clear and vivid memories of #1 son (raised in Geneva and with french being his preferred/easier language) very proudly introducing his freshly acquired fiancée to the visiting grandparents as his concubine. Shocked silence, and son was rapidly removed from the room while the english meaning of the word was explained to him!!!
He must have quite an ego, what with him implying a postion of power at such a young age.

(grabs the coat and shifts towards the exit)
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  #184  
Old 27.02.2017, 01:19
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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He must have quite an ego, what with him implying a postion of power at such a young age.

(grabs the coat and shifts towards the exit)
Silly man; shuffling off and trying to escape through the exit is a cowards way out.

Anyway #1son's ego doesn't require stoking, power becomes him.
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  #185  
Old 27.02.2017, 02:31
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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It seems that this is worth repeating/an additional post.

Concubine (engl) and "Konkubine" (German) have identical meaning and connotation. A "Konkubine" is the woman in a relationship of unequals where she has vastly inferior position and power. The man is in a position of official power, typically married, without any intent whatsoever to improve her positon let alone engage or even marry her. Just for example's sake, if Donald Trump had a female lover without any intent to divorce Melania that side-lover could well be called "Konkubine".
8
The German "Konkubinat" however has no connotations, be they positive or negative. The term essentially means "a (homo- or heterosexual) couple living together (and in a steady and lasting relationship) without a particular legal status". It's a basket term used for anything and everything outside of marriage and registered relationship. There's no negative connotation any longer though there was 50-60 years ago when the German term "wilde Ehe" evolved after the invention of the contraception pill.
Yes but wilful misunderstanding is far more amusing.
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Old 19.03.2017, 05:40
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

I get it! I can be a mess sometimes, and being in a place where everything seems to be perfect can get obnoxious and just make you feel bad for not being perfect yourself.

If you're like me, you crave genuine connection and acceptance without judgment, and it's difficult to get that when everything around you is pristine and seemingly uptight, or at least reserved. Of course I am making some blanket statements and assumptions based on what you wrote, as I've never even heard of Zofingen before and have only visited Switzerland so far, but I can imagine how one could go crazy living like that.

I hope you're able to find a place and/or some friends that you enjoy and can let loose with!
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