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Old 20.02.2017, 12:11
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Hahaha!! Hilarious!

Well, I lived in Amsterdam for 5 years in my twenties, went to school. I know exactly what you mean. But right now I'm living in the middle of nowhere! It's one thing to live in a big city in Europe, and another thing to live in a small town. It's very rural here, in mindset also.
Word to the wise: Try to drop the evaluation, at least as an initial knee jerk reaction.

You're not living in the middle of nowhere, you're living in a place which is different to any other place you've lived before. You'd be going through something quite similar if you'd moved to Barrhead Ab., having lived all your life in Toronto.

If you can train yourself to differentiate between "different" and "wrong" you'll have an easier time of it, both in terms of your interactions with the locals, and with your own Psychohygiene. You don't have to think everything here is perfect, but it does help if you reserve judgement until you've had a 2nd look.

Eggs, for example, are a different size here. They also taste different. You can still make an omelette, or bake a cake, you just have to adjust your recipe to the way things are. You could refuse to make omelettes and cakes except for when visitors bring some Canada Grade A over... but that would be silly, right?
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  #22  
Old 20.02.2017, 12:14
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Hi

I can empathise. Utterly. It's a shock. And if you're at home all day while the one you moved to be with is out and about in his life then... yeah... crazytime. Not fun. There are only so many solo walks and box sets and new hobbies. And you can't go to the supermarket everyday because you buy buy buy... and it is so different. And it's OK to feel that it's different.

There are a couple of threads on here about feeling like this: search for "bored to tears" and "mean reds" and you'll see what I mean.

Stick around this forum. It's full of good stuff and, genuinely, kept me sane when I needed it. Ish. I didn't get any "insane-r" at least. Is that a recommendation? I think so....!

Anyway. Welcome. Wishing you a good day.

Rufus
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Old 20.02.2017, 12:20
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

If all else fails, here is a real treat http://www.thermalbad-zuerich.ch/galerie.asp

CHF 36 and you can hang out there as long as you like
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Old 20.02.2017, 12:28
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Zofingen rocks -check out the Fasnacht programme
www.zofara.ch
In our town, the kids procession is always worthwhile -they have spent weeks in school preparing these outfits -no wonder the school curriculum is never actually taught and yes they are just about perfect. And you get Guggimusik, now that is definitely not perfect
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Old 20.02.2017, 12:39
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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mssims, thank you for starting this thread

I started feeling the same way lately. I know I am fortunate to be here, I have a great OH. But.... and this is probably because I feel I have all I want right now, i.e. things seem to be going in the right direction... I feel that everything is too easy, though not cheap (hence shopping in Lidl)... It really hit me a couple of years ago after coming back from Spain. I get the feeling that people are limited in their choices and that is the choice they made (or did they?)... and I need to escape every now and then. Do get out more, there is plenty to discover... Even if it's too pretty, too clean, too perfect. And to those who will now say that the streets, public transport, whatever are not tidy enough, think back to where you come from before posting! In 1992 bread, cheese and toilet paper were rare commodities in Russia... I think being content is not good for the soul (think Huxley's Brave New World)
Thanks for sharing. I'm not sure what is going to happen for me, but at the moment, things don't seem easy. I get regular work online, but it's not enough to keep me afloat here. I live with my guy and he's willing to pay for me, but that's not my style. I haven't told him that I can't afford to live at his level. He goes out for dinner and easily drops 100 franc and I get by by ordering a salad and he thinks I'm just being feminine! Haha!
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Old 20.02.2017, 12:51
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Plugging a thread I started years back about
The Lonely Life of a Trailing Spouse and what to do about it.
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  #27  
Old 20.02.2017, 12:55
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Hello,
I'm a 39 year old, very well-traveled Canadian female living in Zofingen. I'm a writer, work online. Hate it. Oh yeah, right, we're supposed to talk about how blessed we are. Writer: love it. So blessed to be able to live and work anywhere! Yay!

Yes, I'll repeat that one troubling fact you might have missed: I'm living in Zofingen... And losing my mind. Haha!

Now, don't get me wrong, Zofingen is so cute, so sweet, and a beautiful traditional Swiss-German village (small city, town, I guess...) and I should be happy because I've met the sweetest Swiss guy who is really wonderful. But am I the first person to lose their mind from all this perfection?

I think I'm going to die from perfection. Swiss perfection. Perfect cheese, perfect chocolate, perfect man in a perfect country, with perfect family and perfect friends.

I don't know.... Thank God this is anonymous.

So I'm kind of going crazy here. Well actually, I was already crazy to begin with, but all this perfection is making me feel like a lamb in sheep's clothing. Or is that a wolf's clothing? Or is that a wolf in lamb's clothing? But I swear I'm not a wolf! I'm a lamb, I swear. I think... I'm pretty sure.

Anyway, I think I just lost my chance to ever get a job on this site, which is actually why i signed up.... oh well.

Maybe I can meet someone in the hood? In the Zofingen hood? Can't be too far away because it costs a small frigging fortune to take the train anywhere in this country. I'd be up for a coffee, or down. Anything to get me out of this perfect house with the perfect f#&@ing ducks quakking outside.

Anyone else feel like a sheep, or a lamb? Or was that a wolf?
Hi mssims, welcome. I love the way you write (so keep at it) but there was not really much info in your text, was there. I mean you didn't need to come all the way here to "complain" about the perfection of cheese and chocolate here - I think any Somali who never left home knows about that. Complaining about the perfection of your boyfriend? The one who mentioned it should be in the "first-world-problem" thread had a point. LOL.
Zofingen is too small? I entirely agree. Yet further down you mentioned you hide in your apartement because going out is too expensive - so how do you even know how big Zofingen is?
Switzerland is weird? ABSOLUTELY. And I'm Swiss But as - I think Jag? - said, instead of comparing why don't you just take it as a completely wild adventure and check out all the weird things? It is very unlikely you will ever move to a place like this again in your life
So go on, get out there, check it out. Don't knock/judge but observe it - and report on this thread, I shall love reading your texts.
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  #28  
Old 20.02.2017, 12:57
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Swiss are great at compartmentalizing. They are very proud of being punctual to the point that two minutes is LATE, even for private functions. They judge you by your cleanliness and by your hobbies. The Swiss are a suspicious folk but once you've got a friend, you've won their trust. Friendship comes with duties in Switzerland, which is why they are quite particular about the choice of their friends.

Having said that, in most families you'll find gobs of imperfections including failed marriages, depression, sickness, financial problems, greed, family feuds, etc, etc....

It's all a facade but it works for Switzerland.

By the way, I think it's important to post any frustration you have here. That's what the forum is for. Quite often, it takes two or three posts before someone actually replies with something worthwhile and/or helpful. Hang in there.
Perfect post, olygirl.. though you forgot to mention about the morning ritual of hanging your duvet out the window. If you fail to do this daily, no self-respecting Swiss will ever speak to you.

Bored and ignored = not good
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  #29  
Old 20.02.2017, 13:11
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Perfect post, olygirl.. though you forgot to mention about the morning ritual of hanging your duvet out the window. If you fail to do this daily, no self-respecting Swiss will ever speak to you.
NOW you're telling me!
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  #30  
Old 20.02.2017, 13:19
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Hello,
I'm a 39 year old, very well-traveled Canadian female living in Zofingen. I'm a writer, work online. Hate it. Oh yeah, right, we're supposed to talk about how blessed we are. Writer: love it. So blessed to be able to live and work anywhere! Yay!

Yes, I'll repeat that one troubling fact you might have missed: I'm living in Zofingen... And losing my mind. Haha!

Now, don't get me wrong, Zofingen is so cute, so sweet, and a beautiful traditional Swiss-German village (small city, town, I guess...) and I should be happy because I've met the sweetest Swiss guy who is really wonderful. But am I the first person to lose their mind from all this perfection?

I think I'm going to die from perfection. Swiss perfection. Perfect cheese, perfect chocolate, perfect man in a perfect country, with perfect family and perfect friends.

I don't know.... Thank God this is anonymous.

So I'm kind of going crazy here. Well actually, I was already crazy to begin with, but all this perfection is making me feel like a lamb in sheep's clothing. Or is that a wolf's clothing? Or is that a wolf in lamb's clothing? But I swear I'm not a wolf! I'm a lamb, I swear. I think... I'm pretty sure.

Anyway, I think I just lost my chance to ever get a job on this site, which is actually why i signed up.... oh well.

Maybe I can meet someone in the hood? In the Zofingen hood? Can't be too far away because it costs a small frigging fortune to take the train anywhere in this country. I'd be up for a coffee, or down. Anything to get me out of this perfect house with the perfect f#&@ing ducks quakking outside.

Anyone else feel like a sheep, or a lamb? Or was that a wolf?
You basically live in a boring idyllic small town, which is probably like the US and Canadian boring idyllic small towns in it's lack of stuff to do and everyone knowing everyone's business etc etc.

If you want things to do and a more hectic social life, in addition to increasing your chances of finding a job that doesn't involve being stuck at home all day, then you need move into or close to a big city.
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  #31  
Old 20.02.2017, 13:23
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Free suggestion to stave of your ennui and get your mind off things:
Get a 5-Zone Tageskarte for almost 12Chf (http://fahrplan.sbb.ch/bin/query.exe/en). Take the train to Aarburg, which should only take a couple of minutes, get off the train and venture out for a beautiful stroll along the river until here: https://www.google.ch/maps/dir/Aarbu...202781!1m0!3e2

Return back to the train-station and board the next train to Olten. In Olten you're going to transfer on a train to Aarau. Where you can eat at one of the inexpensive choices mentioned in this thread: Good restaurant in Aarau

After lunch, you can visit the Bücherbrocki: http://buecher-brocky.ch/kontakt-2/ which is basically a used book store where you can stock up on books for 2-3 Chf a piece. The whole journey will keep you occupied for an entire day and you'd most likely not spend over 40Chf.

Last edited by lost_inbroad; 20.02.2017 at 14:03.
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  #32  
Old 20.02.2017, 13:23
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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then you need move into or close to a big city.
Which in the case of Zofingen, would be Milan
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Old 20.02.2017, 13:28
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Hi mssims, welcome. I love the way you write (so keep at it) ....you mentioned you hide in your apartement because going out is too expensive - so how do you even know how big Zofingen is?
Switzerland is weird? ABSOLUTELY. And I'm Swiss But as - I think Jag? - said, instead of comparing why don't you just take it as a completely wild adventure and check out all the weird things? It is very unlikely you will ever move to a place like this again in your life
So go on, get out there, check it out. Don't knock/judge but observe it - and report on this thread, I shall love reading your texts.
Okay, thanks for the gentle reprimand. Point taken. By the way, I do get out quite a bit with my bf on evenings and weekends. But it's the 9-5 M-F that is sucking my soul.

Okay, I'm going to go to the library today. It opens at 13:00, and it's something I can afford. I will report back!

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You basically live in a boring idyllic small town, which is probably like the US and Canadian boring idyllic small towns in it's lack of stuff to do and everyone knowing everyone's business etc etc.

If you want things to do and a more hectic social life, in addition to increasing your chances of finding a job that doesn't involve being stuck at home all day, then you need move into or close to a big city.
Yes, you've hit the nail on the head. Boring small town... I've always either lived in big cities or out in the bush, but not often in a small town.

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Free suggestion to stave of your ennui and get your mind off things:
Get a 5-Zone Tageskarte for almost 12Chf (http://fahrplan.sbb.ch/bin/query.exe/en). Take the train to Aarburg, which should only take a couple of minutes, get off the train and venture our for a beautiful stroll along the river until here: https://www.google.ch/maps/dir/Aarbu...202781!1m0!3e2

Return back to the train-station and board the next train to Olten. In Olten you're going to transfer on a train to Aarau. Where you can eat at one of the inexpensive choices mentioned in this thread: Good restaurant in Aarau

After lunch, you can visit the Bücherbrocki: http://buecher-brocky.ch/kontakt-2/ which is basically a used book store where you can stock up on books for 2-3 Chf a piece. The whole journey will keep you occupied for an entire day and you'd most likely not spend over 40Chf.
Hey, thank you! This is an amazing trip you organized for me! I'm totally going to do it. my bf will be jealous! Haha!

Last edited by 3Wishes; 20.02.2017 at 23:23. Reason: merging consecutive replies
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  #34  
Old 20.02.2017, 13:59
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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You basically live in a boring idyllic small town, which is probably like the US and Canadian boring idyllic small towns in it's lack of stuff to do and everyone knowing everyone's business etc etc.

If you want things to do and a more hectic social life, in addition to increasing your chances of finding a job that doesn't involve being stuck at home all day, then you need move into or close to a big city.
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Yes, you've hit the nail on the head. Boring small town... I've always either lived in big cities or out in the bush, but not often in a small town.
Actually it's not a random, bucolic and boring town. It has quite a lot of good restaurants within walking distance and the area in and around Zofingen is home to several multinational companies. Furthermore, there are lots of events which take place every year.
Just to name a few:
http://www.heitere.ch/
http://www.new-orleans-meets-in-zofingen.ch/
http://www.folkfestival-zofingen.ch/
http://www.powerman.ch/en
http://www.open-air-kino.ch/pages/de/kinos/zofingen.php
http://www.daswasserfest.ch/
http://www.route66aarburg.com/
https://www.moonlightfestival.ch/
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Old 20.02.2017, 14:08
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

I know exactly what you mean. Spending a couple of weeks in London now and somehow enjoying the crowd, the noise, the mayhem and the subtle anarchy. I must have told myself at least twice a day in the last 3 weeks "Imagine this would have happened in Geneva/Switzerland..."
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Old 20.02.2017, 14:18
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Actually it's not a random, bucolic and boring town.
Indeed. Word is Zofingen has a good hockey team... one with a suitable mascot, not like some other clubs which have a rat for a mascot.
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Old 20.02.2017, 14:25
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Welcome to the Forum and I hope you will find your way soon. Now the weather is getting nicer, you will be able to spend more time outside and visit places. Try a favourite local pasttime of wandern (walking). Check when local sights such as castles, etc will be opened again after the long winter break.

I had a similar problem when I moved here first. Even though I worked 5 days per week. There was not much to do where I stayed (a tiny company flat in a small village in Aargau), especially on weekends. So I used to select a castle or any other place of interest, planned the walking route (with a possible return by public transport) and then enjoyed a day outside. Not that expensive, no shops around :-) and also good for health.

German classes also kept me busy. If you are in a group for classes, you may meet people who speak your language :-)

Another place to meet someone from your home country is the Tag für Neuzuzüger - day for newly arrived. Check the local council (Gemeinde) site and mark the date. Of course, it is about learning how the community works, what they offer, etc but you also meet people with whom you can make friends.

With spring almost here and fog gone, you will definitely enjoy your stay more.
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Old 20.02.2017, 14:34
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

OP, one thing jumped out at me from your posts; you haven't told your boyfriend that you can't afford to 'live at his level'.

Why not? You've moved half a world away from your comfort zone to be with him, yet you're not comfortable telling him that you're struggling to keep up with his expensive life-style and you're lonely.

Talk to him. Hopefully he's simply not realised that you're eating salad because you can't afford chicken, not going out because you're scared of spending the train fare. He is only a man after all (bless them all, lovely creatures but they think differently to us).... they'll often just 'not notice' that something's wrong unless you draw their attention the problem simply because it's easier not to have to deal with it.

Perhaps he could sub you the cost of an annual train pass, or invest in a small car?

Lost_inbroad's suggestion for a day out sounds brilliant; and with the nicer weather coming you could even save a few francs by taking a packed lunch,
sit in one of the parks and enjoy the sunshine.
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  #39  
Old 20.02.2017, 14:38
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Actually it's not a random, bucolic and boring town. It has quite a lot of good restaurants within walking distance and the area in and around Zofingen is home to several multinational companies. Furthermore, there are lots of events which take place every year.
Just to name a few:
http://www.heitere.ch/
http://www.new-orleans-meets-in-zofingen.ch/
http://www.folkfestival-zofingen.ch/
http://www.powerman.ch/en
http://www.open-air-kino.ch/pages/de/kinos/zofingen.php
http://www.daswasserfest.ch/
http://www.route66aarburg.com/
https://www.moonlightfestival.ch/
http://www.new-orleans-meets-in-zofingen.ch/ sounds pretty good. Unfortunately all the details are still about 2016.
Thanks to you I just found out that Afro-Pfingsten is back on in my area (they were out of money).
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Old 20.02.2017, 14:42
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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http://www.new-orleans-meets-in-zofingen.ch/ sounds pretty good. Unfortunately all the details are still about 2016.
Thanks to you I just found out that Afro-Pfingsten is back on in my area (they were out of money).
Probably some Zürcher in charge of the updates.
The banner has the 2017 date..the rest of the information is indeed from 2016. I'd assume they'll update it eventually.
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