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  #121  
Old 22.02.2017, 11:32
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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No offence Trollemor, but I kinda hope you are a complete idiot. If someone with your experience and education has been searching for so long, what's a normo like me to do?!?
You've never sat in an interview and realised after 5-10 minutes that your future boss already sees you as a threat because your qualifications are better than theirs?

Try it sometime... it's really a lot of fun.
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  #122  
Old 22.02.2017, 11:38
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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You've never sat in an interview and realised after 5-10 minutes that your future boss already sees you as a threat because your qualifications are better than theirs?

Try it sometime... it's really a lot of fun.
We should have a chat about "fun" some time . Yeah. Been there. Didn't get the job... also been on staff when a new "boss" was recruited with less experience than two thirds of her new team. That's cosy...
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  #123  
Old 22.02.2017, 11:43
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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I think it can be both and obviously enough people enjoy my author unpublished blog to have a conversation, so what business is it of yours?

Nice to meet you
OP, out of curiosity, how long have you been in a relationship with your other half?
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  #124  
Old 22.02.2017, 12:46
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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As Medea said, look into the work permit thing... Medea is it actually called a Concubine permit? Or did I nightmare that?
My thoughts exactly when I first heard about the concubine permit.
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  #125  
Old 22.02.2017, 12:54
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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My thoughts exactly when I first heard about the concubine permit.
Konkubinat = "cohabitation" or " concubinage"
living together, being a couple without being married. Nothing sleazy about it.
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  #126  
Old 22.02.2017, 13:00
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Konkubinat = "cohabitation" or " concubinage"
living together, being a couple without being married. Nothing sleazy about it.
It's something about the english term concubine that suggests the woman who lives with a man as a concubine does not have the same status as the woman/women he married. Perhaps the meaning here in Switzerland doesn't have that historical weight?
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  #127  
Old 22.02.2017, 13:01
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

I'm certainly not suggesting that I think there's anything sleazy about 'concubinage' myself...
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  #128  
Old 22.02.2017, 13:08
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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OP, out of curiosity, how long have you been in a relationship with your other half?
i guess since 19 Feb
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  #129  
Old 22.02.2017, 13:13
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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It's something about the english term concubine that suggests the woman who lives with a man as a concubine does not have the same status as the woman/women he married. Perhaps the meaning here in Switzerland doesn't have that historical weight?
She doesn't. But neither has he!
If you live in a "Konkubinat" you need to put everything in contracts (like you want the partner to be informed etc. when ill/had an accident .... you want him to inherit your money if you die .... what ever).
If you're married lots of things are then automatically regulated.
The state has discovered how to make money out of these couples (do not ask me details, I don't even want to know ). In the old days living together was just that and one did it BECAUSE s/he didn't want the state or anybody put it's nose into a private thing.

"Konkubinat" used to have a very bad reputation even here but that was maybe when my parents were very young.
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  #130  
Old 22.02.2017, 13:14
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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You've never sat in an interview and realised after 5-10 minutes that your future boss already sees you as a threat because your qualifications are better than theirs?

Try it sometime... it's really a lot of fun.
The fact we still live in an age which shuns knowledge/ expertise because it's threatening, is very worrying.. I don't enjoy the fun of going to my kids' school and threatening senior staff because I simply query school/department policy and learning outcomes. I instantly go from being patronized as stupid Mum to being a complete nuisance in a few seconds flat. Their defensive looks tell me more about their ignorance and lack of expertise than any measured school policy outcome

@Rufus - please go teach in my kids' school.
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  #131  
Old 22.02.2017, 13:33
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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You've never sat in an interview and realised after 5-10 minutes that your future boss already sees you as a threat because your qualifications are better than theirs?

Try it sometime... it's really a lot of fun.
Besides, I'm only a woman, I've been at home for 4 years and I'm past 40. Together it's probably even worse than being stupid.

Reasons not to give me a job include: too senior, too junior, overqualified, underqualified, stayed at home so out of date and too old to learn new skills.

Eyeing a distinct possibility that I'll end up cleaning apartments for a living.
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  #132  
Old 22.02.2017, 13:34
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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The fact we still live in an age which shuns knowledge/ expertise because it's threatening, is very worrying.. I don't enjoy the fun of going to my kids' school and threatening senior staff because I simply query school/department policy and learning outcomes. I instantly go from being patronized as stupid Mum to being a complete nuisance in a few seconds flat. Their defensive looks tell me more about their ignorance and lack of expertise than any measured school policy outcome

@Rufus - please go teach in my kids' school.
I'm sorry you're having to battle. It should be a partnership because you all want the same outcome: happy, confident, secure, learning child.

I'd love to but the commute may kill me!

You know where I am if I can send you any more resources etc x
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  #133  
Old 22.02.2017, 13:41
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Also, buttered up the BF last night with a massage and then when he was practically asleep, asked if I could borrow his brand new (as in just 2 days ago) car on Friday to visit someone I met here on the threads... He said he'd let me know tonight.... haha!! Crossing my fingers!
Make sure to read up on the differences between North American and Swiss road rules, the default speed limits and so on.

I don't understand buttering him up or some of the other things, but I totally understand not wanting to be financially dependent. Buuuut on the other hand, you're the one uprooting your life to join him in the more expensive country.

It's been said before, but if I were you I'd have him buy me a GA. (And if I were him, asked to lend my brand new car to someone who can't read the road signs, I'd jump at the opportunity to pay for an alternative.)

That way you can get out, see the country without him, gain some independence, meet people. Once you have the pass you never have to beg permission from him again to leave home unless you enjoy it.

Are you on a tourist visa? In that case there are special train prices for tourists. They also include (or at least used to include) entry to many of the museums. Do you speak French or Italian? For me it was a relief to spend a day in an area where the people on the street weren't squawking unintelligibly. Sounds silly but it made an enormous difference. Needing one's partner to do basic tasks wears a person down.

From one 30-something North American woman to another, good luck!
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  #134  
Old 22.02.2017, 13:42
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Besides, I'm only a woman, I've been at home for 4 years and I'm past 40. Together it's probably even worse than being stupid.
Shee-it. Stupid ovaries... if only we had the Mighty Magic Penis which renders all owners perpetually relevant.


Maybe we should form a club.

I'm mainly looking for a part-time teaching role: rarer than rocking horse poo. And even when they are advertised, and I apply... and interview, I find they actually want full time and appoint accordingly. Which. Is. Not. What. They. Advertised. In. The. First. Instance. Grr.

I have three jobs in my field, they just don't pay consistently because of their nature.
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  #135  
Old 22.02.2017, 13:54
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Your have to butter up your partner in order to borrow his car, when he knows that you are otherwise stuck at home and rely on public transport? Do you have to beg for food too, or does that come free with the relationship?
It's a brand new car Richdog. To put it in your terms, picture somebody wanting to borrow your brand new Kitchenaid food processor or Betty Crocker blender, I'm quite certain you'd be hesitant as well.
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  #136  
Old 22.02.2017, 14:03
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Maybe we should form a club.


Joining the club......similar situation as Trollemor (although lucky enough to have a job)
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  #137  
Old 22.02.2017, 14:04
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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It's a brand new car Richdog. To put it in your terms, picture somebody wanting to borrow your brand new Kitchenaid food processor or Betty Crocker blender, I'm quite certain you'd be hesitant as well.


Feel free to use my brand new Moulinex Chef whatever :-)
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  #138  
Old 22.02.2017, 14:05
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Joining the club......similar situation as Trollemor (although lucky enough to have a job)
OK that's three. Paging Neddy...
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  #139  
Old 22.02.2017, 14:05
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Do you have to beg for food too, or does that come free with the relationship?
I get fed once a week, fortunately, and twice a week if I'm good in bed.

Someone did mention this was fiction.... Don't take me too seriously! I'm just playing around, trying, and failing, it seems, to be funny. The general story line is true, but I'm editing for... readability. Yeah, that's right. Readability.

I did say that I was a wolf in sheep's clothing, didn't I? Or was that a lamb? Yeah, that's right, I'm just a little lamb.... Dressed up like Schweizer Schafe.
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Old 22.02.2017, 14:11
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Little Red on the way to granny's house, the Big Bad or the Huntsman and his axe?


Damn. Now all I'm thinking about is a wet Chris Hemsworth. And steak.
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