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Old 20.02.2017, 10:36
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HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Hello,
I'm a 39 year old, very well-traveled Canadian female living in Zofingen. I'm a writer, work online. Hate it. Oh yeah, right, we're supposed to talk about how blessed we are. Writer: love it. So blessed to be able to live and work anywhere! Yay!

Yes, I'll repeat that one troubling fact you might have missed: I'm living in Zofingen... And losing my mind. Haha!

Now, don't get me wrong, Zofingen is so cute, so sweet, and a beautiful traditional Swiss-German village (small city, town, I guess...) and I should be happy because I've met the sweetest Swiss guy who is really wonderful. But am I the first person to lose their mind from all this perfection?

I think I'm going to die from perfection. Swiss perfection. Perfect cheese, perfect chocolate, perfect man in a perfect country, with perfect family and perfect friends.

I don't know.... Thank God this is anonymous.

So I'm kind of going crazy here. Well actually, I was already crazy to begin with, but all this perfection is making me feel like a lamb in sheep's clothing. Or is that a wolf's clothing? Or is that a wolf in lamb's clothing? But I swear I'm not a wolf! I'm a lamb, I swear. I think... I'm pretty sure.

Anyway, I think I just lost my chance to ever get a job on this site, which is actually why i signed up.... oh well.

Maybe I can meet someone in the hood? In the Zofingen hood? Can't be too far away because it costs a small frigging fortune to take the train anywhere in this country. I'd be up for a coffee, or down. Anything to get me out of this perfect house with the perfect f#&@ing ducks quakking outside.

Anyone else feel like a sheep, or a lamb? Or was that a wolf?
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Old 20.02.2017, 10:41
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Living alone or with your bf? Either way, move, find a new place to live and enjoy life!
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Old 20.02.2017, 10:43
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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I think I'm going to die from perfection. Swiss perfection. Perfect cheese, perfect chocolate, perfect man in a perfect country, with perfect family and perfect friends.
You need the "first-world problems" section of the forum
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Old 20.02.2017, 10:46
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

And seeing that speak Dutch: if you are on FB, check out Nederlanders in Zwitserland. Maybe you´ll find some not so perfect Dutch friends
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Old 20.02.2017, 10:48
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Doh! Stupid me! Should have known better than to look for friendship or kindness on a forum! Of course! These places are for people who love to hurl insults and then add a passive aggressive smiley face at the end! Like this:
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Old 20.02.2017, 10:51
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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I think I'm going to die from perfection. Swiss perfection. Perfect cheese, perfect chocolate, perfect man in a perfect country, with perfect family and perfect friends.
Welcome to Switzerland and to the Forum.

That perfection you talk about is a very thin veneer, you'll peer through it soon and see the fluff and stray hairs in every corner. Get a half tax or whatever it is called these days, then trains are cheaper and more efficient then in the UK. Theres lots to do, but just maybe not where you are, so I guess that must be good for writing, lots of famous writers came to Switzerland, I presume just not for the crazy parties and hedonism
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Old 20.02.2017, 10:52
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Doh! Stupid me! Should have known better than to look for friendship or kindness on a forum! Of course! These places are for people who love to hurl insults and then add a passive aggressive smiley face at the end! Like this:
Erm, welcome to the forum. I guess?
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Old 20.02.2017, 10:56
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Canadian here. I've just got to say, the perfection is part of the fun.


You just have to approach it with a bit of Humor (see this link: The Swiss Rules you love to break)


I don't know the Aargau area, but I'm sure there are some expats around there.


Travelling by train can be really expensive, but check with your Gemeinde - the usually sell daily SBB tickets from around CHF 45. Use it to go check out Zurich, Luzern, Bern.


With spring coming you may feel a bit better too! Good luck
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Old 20.02.2017, 10:56
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

If you are just looking to start a fight, it's Monday morning so most of us are barely conscious. Try Friday. I would like to borrow your rose coloured glasses. Try to be glad while it lasts 'cos it rarely does.
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Old 20.02.2017, 10:57
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Doh! Stupid me! Should have known better than to look for friendship or kindness on a forum! Of course! These places are for people who love to hurl insults and then add a passive aggressive smiley face at the end! Like this:
Easy, tiger. My post was a tongue-in-cheek response to a tongue-in-cheek post. The "first world problems" thread is full of such posts. There was no malice intended. Context being everything, have another *non*-aggressive (passive or otherwise) smiley
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Old 20.02.2017, 11:05
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Looks like somebody was looking for (brown) sugar and found saccharine
Don´t worry in time the perfection will become the norm.
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Old 20.02.2017, 11:06
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

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Doh! Stupid me! Should have known better than to look for friendship or kindness on a forum! Of course! These places are for people who love to hurl insults and then add a passive aggressive smiley face at the end! Like this:
You said your life was too perfect. We all come along, make it less perfect, and you complain.
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Old 20.02.2017, 11:07
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Hello mssims and welcome to the forum. Don't listen to all those naysayers, you're allowed to go crazy.
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Old 20.02.2017, 11:14
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

I think some folks understand your situation very well. It takes some time to find your "people" but when you do it makes life much easier.

I recently quit my stay-at-home-job so I'd be up for lunch. I'm living in Zurich City so we can meet halfway, which is Baden. I started my Swiss life here.

Btw, I'm a 38 year old, very well-traveled American female...
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Old 20.02.2017, 11:15
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

The Swiss are great at compartmentalizing. They are very proud of being punctual to the point that two minutes is LATE, even for private functions. They judge you by your cleanliness and by your hobbies. The Swiss are a suspicious folk but once you've got a friend, you've won their trust. Friendship comes with duties in Switzerland, which is why they are quite particular about the choice of their friends.

Having said that, in most families you'll find gobs of imperfections including failed marriages, depression, sickness, financial problems, greed, family feuds, etc, etc....

It's all a facade but it works for Switzerland.

By the way, I think it's important to post any frustration you have here. That's what the forum is for. Quite often, it takes two or three posts before someone actually replies with something worthwhile and/or helpful. Hang in there.
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Old 20.02.2017, 11:34
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Welcome to Switzerland and to the Forum.

That perfection you talk about is a very thin veneer, you'll peer through it soon and see the fluff and stray hairs in every corner. Get a half tax or whatever it is called these days, then trains are cheaper and more efficient then in the UK. Theres lots to do, but just maybe not where you are, so I guess that must be good for writing, lots of famous writers came to Switzerland, I presume just not for the crazy parties and hedonism
Thanks! Yes, I'll be sure to ask my bf about the half tax card or whatever it is. I think there's lots to do where I am also, but it seems the moment I step outside, I spend 100 franc, so I've barricaded myself inside... Not a good idea, I'm sure. The writing part is true. Thanks for the reminder! And for the first genuine welcome onto the board!

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Easy, tiger. My post was a tongue-in-cheek response to a tongue-in-cheek post. The "first world problems" thread is full of such posts. There was no malice intended. Context being everything, have another *non*-aggressive (passive or otherwise) smiley
Good to know it's tongue in cheek. Didn't come across so. I haven't checked out the first world problems thread. Just joined today after a friend at church told me about this website.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 20.02.2017 at 23:07. Reason: merging consecutive replies
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Old 20.02.2017, 11:45
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Hello, and welcome.

It does seem a little bit twee initially. Sort of like Niagara On The Lake in the 1980s.

Don't worry, you'll get over it. One day you'll notice that just after you've crossed the border on the way back home from Italy, or France, or Austria, and you'll think: "Ah.... that's better".

Just wait till you go back to Canada. After about 2 years you'll find yourself thinking "They really should maintain things a bit better, just look at all those unwashed cars!".
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Old 20.02.2017, 11:49
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

Buy a motorbike.

No, honestly. Buy a motorbike and get out and explore what is around you.
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Old 20.02.2017, 11:50
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I think some folks understand your situation very well. It takes some time to find your "people" but when you do it makes life much easier.

I recently quit my stay-at-home-job so I'd be up for lunch. I'm living in Zurich City so we can meet halfway, which is Baden. I started my Swiss life here.

Btw, I'm a 38 year old, very well-traveled American female...

Thank you! Yes, would love to meet. I'm pretty much always free. I'll try to send you a pm.

I just left a place where I felt completely at home, and surrounded by "my people" (we called it the open air asylum ) and that's where I met my beau, who is also crazy, and we fell in love and he asked me to move to Switzerland.... I love him and we have a lot of fun, but he works full time and and I do feel so isolated here in Zofingen and his family hardly speaks English... He has a very big family and they're very close. We spend all of our free time with them. Anyway, they are beautiful, and as some have mentioned, they're not actually "perfect" as I've already found out, but I don't know... I guess they're just not "my people" yet. Maybe they will be. But they listen to really bad techno music in the car and their idea of a good conversation is to talk about the latest movie, TV show, video game.... And they use the N-word! And laugh about it, like it's actually funny... Ugh.

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Just wait till you go back to Canada. After about 2 years you'll find yourself thinking "They really should maintain things a bit better, just look at all those unwashed cars!".
Hahaha!! Hilarious!

Well, I lived in Amsterdam for 5 years in my twenties, went to school. I know exactly what you mean. But right now I'm living in the middle of nowhere! It's one thing to live in a big city in Europe, and another thing to live in a small town. It's very rural here, in mindset also.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 20.02.2017 at 23:09. Reason: merging consecutive replies
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Old 20.02.2017, 12:07
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Re: HELP! Going crazy from all this perfection...

mssims, thank you for starting this thread

I started feeling the same way lately. I know I am fortunate to be here, I have a great OH. But.... and this is probably because I feel I have all I want right now, i.e. things seem to be going in the right direction... I feel that everything is too easy, though not cheap (hence shopping in Lidl)... It really hit me a couple of years ago after coming back from Spain. I get the feeling that people are limited in their choices and that is the choice they made (or did they?)... and I need to escape every now and then. Do get out more, there is plenty to discover... Even if it's too pretty, too clean, too perfect. And to those who will now say that the streets, public transport, whatever are not tidy enough, think back to where you come from before posting! In 1992 bread, cheese and toilet paper were rare commodities in Russia... I think being content is not good for the soul (think Huxley's Brave New World)
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