Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Off-Topic > Off-Topic > Jokes/funnies  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 14.10.2011, 11:35
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Gächlingen SH
Posts: 254
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 180 Times in 63 Posts
vicladyuk is considered knowledgeablevicladyuk is considered knowledgeablevicladyuk is considered knowledgeable
this made me laugh today !!!

what a fantastic name for toilet paper


Name:  photo.JPG
Views: 307
Size:  30.6 KB
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 14.10.2011, 11:57
JamaicaSu's Avatar
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Luzern
Posts: 6
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
JamaicaSu has no particular reputation at present
Re: this made me laugh today !!!

This is why we love children!

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'







2) OPINIONS






On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'






3) KETCHUP






A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'






4) MORE NUDITY







A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'







5) POLICE # 1






While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. 'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'






6) POLICE # 2






It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'







7) ELDERLY






While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'






8) DRESS-UP






A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'













9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'







11) BIBLE






A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'







NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT.









Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 15.10.2011, 12:35
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: this made me laugh today !!!

Nice Jokes !!!!

keep Smiling

Sandy
Reply With Quote
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I didn't know if i should laugh or cry at this one??? onei Jokes/funnies 3 30.07.2011 16:30
Does this make anybody else laugh?? Caviarchips Jokes/funnies 33 17.09.2010 11:53
Drunk guy almost made me miss an appointment! Angela-74 Complaints corner 57 11.05.2010 14:47
What made your day today? MusicChick Daily life 28 22.02.2009 16:14
Made me laugh Guest Jokes/funnies 0 15.05.2007 15:09


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 22:06.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0