Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Off-Topic > Off-Topic > Jokes/funnies  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 26.10.2011, 13:19
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Zurich
Posts: 20
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
hkirk has no particular reputation at present
Stuck on a desert island

Desert Island Stereotypes

On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded.

. Two Italian men and one Italian woman
. Two French men and one French woman
. Two German men and one German woman
. Two Greek men and one Greek woman
. Two English men and one English woman
. Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
. Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
. Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
. Two Irish men and one Irish woman
. Two American men and one American woman


One month later, the following things have occurred:

.One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

.The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in Ménage à Trois .

.The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

.The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

.The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

.The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.

.The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

.The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy-liquor-store-restaurant-laundry, and have gotten the woman
pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.


.The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if
sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few litres of coconut whiskey. However, they
are satisfied because the English are not having any fun.


.The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and
complains relentlessly about:


o Her body

o The true nature of feminism

o What the sun is doing to her skin

o How she can do anything that they can do

o The necessity of fulfilment

o The equal division of household chores

o How sand and palm trees make her look fat

o How her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do

o How her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems

o Why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this lord-forsaken deserted island in the middle of nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping.


GOT ANY GUESSES ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITH TWO SWISS MEN AND A SWISS WOMAN?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 26.10.2011, 13:29
Sbrinz's Avatar
RIP
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Murten - Morat
Posts: 11,866
Groaned at 563 Times in 354 Posts
Thanked 11,548 Times in 5,941 Posts
Sbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stuck on a desert island

Quote:
View Post
GOT ANY GUESSES ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITH TWO SWISS MEN AND A SWISS WOMAN?
They would have made a rota for which times to do the washing and cleaning.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 26.10.2011, 13:33
Caviarchips's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Basel Stadt
Posts: 3,979
Groaned at 99 Times in 77 Posts
Thanked 6,677 Times in 2,388 Posts
Caviarchips has a reputation beyond reputeCaviarchips has a reputation beyond reputeCaviarchips has a reputation beyond reputeCaviarchips has a reputation beyond reputeCaviarchips has a reputation beyond reputeCaviarchips has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stuck on a desert island

They'd never be there in the first place because LiB says that Swiss don't travel

Fritz and Urs would be sitting by a big pile of bananas, fresh fish and coconuts - starving hungry - but waiting for Vreni to get back from Jassen so she can prepare it for them
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 26.10.2011, 13:48
mirfield's Avatar
Moddy Wellies
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 8,729
Groaned at 53 Times in 47 Posts
Thanked 9,942 Times in 3,654 Posts
mirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stuck on a desert island

They'd probably post a thread on EF

Stranded on a Desert Island
Cultural Differences explained



RIP Begga, love.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 26.10.2011, 13:57
Ouchboy's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Baden
Posts: 3,345
Groaned at 67 Times in 54 Posts
Thanked 5,739 Times in 2,182 Posts
Ouchboy has a reputation beyond reputeOuchboy has a reputation beyond reputeOuchboy has a reputation beyond reputeOuchboy has a reputation beyond reputeOuchboy has a reputation beyond reputeOuchboy has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stuck on a desert island

Quote:
View Post
They'd probably post a thread on EF

Stranded on a Desert Island
Cultural Differences explained



RIP Begga, love.


*Sigh 4 B.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 26.10.2011, 14:04
Captain Greybeard's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Sarganserland / NW Lower Penin
Posts: 3,516
Groaned at 43 Times in 37 Posts
Thanked 7,410 Times in 2,314 Posts
Captain Greybeard has a reputation beyond reputeCaptain Greybeard has a reputation beyond reputeCaptain Greybeard has a reputation beyond reputeCaptain Greybeard has a reputation beyond reputeCaptain Greybeard has a reputation beyond reputeCaptain Greybeard has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stuck on a desert island

Welcome to the forum hkirk. Not exactly an intro but just as good.
Reply With Quote
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Medical advice sought on an aduki bean stuck in an ear. Guest Family matters/health 55 01.03.2010 22:01
Unmissable - Morrissey on Desert Island Discs tomorrow higgybaby TV/internet/telephone 10 04.12.2009 09:36
Stranded on a Desert Island grumpygrapefruit Jokes/funnies 14 08.08.2007 23:51
Desert Island Discs SamC General off-topic 37 16.05.2007 10:22


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 01:33.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0