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Old 09.11.2011, 14:19
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Pastors Salary & the Golfing Father

quoted from www.lankastandard.com

How to Know the Gender of a Fly?
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
‘What are you doing?’ She asked.
‘Hunting Flies’ He responded.
‘Oh! Killing any?’ She asked.
‘Yep, 3 Males, 2 Females,’ he replied.
Intrigued, she asked.
‘How can you tell them apart?’ !He responded,
’3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.’
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There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher’s family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher’s salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman’s additional children were costing the church.
Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, ‘Children are a gift from God,’ he said. Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back of the room, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, ‘Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much, we wear raincoats.
‘And the congregation said,
‘Amen!!!!!!!!!! ‘

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[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]You think you had a bad day…[/COLOR]

Staff Correspondent | Published on September 7, 2011 at 7:10 am
A father put his three-year old daughter to bed, told her a story, and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
“God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma
and good-bye Grandpa.”
The father asked, ‘Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?’
The little girl said, “I don’t know, Daddy. It just seemed like
the thing to do.”
The next day Grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, “God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.” The next day the grandmother died.
“Holy Mackerel,” thought the father, “this kid is in contact with the other side.”
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, “God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy.”
He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch, and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch, and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so late. What’s the matter?”
He said, “I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me…
This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!”…

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