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Old 28.11.2011, 00:32
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Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/12310...g-dawn-part-1/
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Old 28.11.2011, 01:07
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

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Old 28.11.2011, 01:12
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

TL;DR. Can someone give a 7 word summary?
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Old 28.11.2011, 01:46
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

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TL;DR. Can someone give a 7 word summary?
Edward pouts & all the girls sigh.
Jacob takes off this shirt & all the girls scream.
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Old 28.11.2011, 02:16
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

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TL;DR. Can someone give a 7 word summary?
It's well worth the read, that was freakin hilarious!
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Old 28.11.2011, 02:33
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

OK. I just needed to read the last paragraph:

Quote:
Make no mistakes though; this is a good movie, a great one in fact. It accomplishes everything it sets out to. As a man, I donít get it, and as a film critic, I find it offensive, but Iíve seen its impact on society to fully appreciate how effective it is. The only way I can explain it is to draw a male parallel of Twilight: Here goes, a sect of lethal ninja warriors are fighting a T-Rex on top the Louisiana Superdome, underneath the Saints are playing the Patriots in the Superbowl. The Government sends a battleship up the Mississippi River to break up the fight between the dinosaur and ninjas. Tomahawk missiles are launched. Explosions are everywhere. The T-Rex and ninjas decide to join forces to destroy the battleship that just ed them up. They jump off the Greater New Orleans Bridge, and in mid-air the ninjas are flinging throwing stars, the T-Rex is breathing fire, and down below the navy is unloading machine guns upon them. Carnage. Fire. Mayhem. Everyone and everything dies. Meanwhile, the President, played by a hot chic is debating weather to send in more battleships. She calls a meeting with her top advisors (played by other hot chics) to discuss a plan of action. They have a giant orgy instead. Credits. If we had a Twilight for men, that would be it. Now put your dick back in your pants and go fall in love with a baby!
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Old 28.11.2011, 07:59
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

Somehow the link doesnt work. I was actually waiting for this...after reading http://www.cracked.com/article/230_i...home_multiline. And others from theeditingroom site. Enjoy it very much
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Old 28.11.2011, 10:04
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

one of the more amusing (and kinda lowbrow) lines from the review


"The theater erupted into the sound of labias slapping together in applause"
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  #9  
Old 28.11.2011, 10:08
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

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It's well worth the read, that was freakin hilarious!


on a quick read thru that review I *ahem* came across this interesting sentence...
...

The best way to show one’s sexual approval is to go cross eyed before yelling, “BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!” as you ejaculate onto a lower back tattoo.


wot????????????
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Old 28.11.2011, 10:12
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

Quote:
Bruises start showing up on Bellaís arms and legs, but she doesnít care. Great message to our young audience: if your boyfriend beats you while having sex, itís the ultimate compliment. Mormons.
In defense of Mormons, it's not always their fault.

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Old 28.11.2011, 10:15
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

Quote:
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OK. I just needed to read the last paragraph:
Quote:
Make no mistakes though; this is a good movie, a great one in fact. It accomplishes everything it sets out to. As a man, I don’t get it, and as a film critic, I find it offensive, but I’ve seen its impact on society to fully appreciate how effective it is. The only way I can explain it is to draw a male parallel of Twilight: Here goes, a sect of lethal ninja warriors are fighting a T-Rex on top the Louisiana Superdome, underneath the Saints are playing the Patriots in the Superbowl. The Government sends a battleship up the Mississippi River to break up the fight between the dinosaur and ninjas. Tomahawk missiles are launched. Explosions are everywhere. The T-Rex and ninjas decide to join forces to destroy the battleship that just ed them up. They jump off the Greater New Orleans Bridge, and in mid-air the ninjas are flinging throwing stars, the T-Rex is breathing fire, and down below the navy is unloading machine guns upon them. Carnage. Fire. Mayhem. Everyone and everything dies. Meanwhile, the President, played by a hot chic is debating weather to send in more battleships. She calls a meeting with her top advisors (played by other hot chics) to discuss a plan of action. They have a giant orgy instead. Credits. If we had a Twilight for men, that would be it. Now put your dick back in your pants and go fall in love with a baby!
Pretty sure that's the plot of at least one of syfy's original movies, if it isn't, it probably should be.

Last edited by cyrus; 28.11.2011 at 10:36.
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  #12  
Old 28.11.2011, 10:16
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

after reading that review I'm undecided if I should see that movie..
or simply wait for the p0rn version.
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  #13  
Old 28.11.2011, 10:26
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

I disagree.

Quote:
Some are into True Blood, which is just Twilight for women who were molested.
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  #14  
Old 28.11.2011, 10:44
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

LOL hilarious
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Old 28.11.2011, 10:54
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

Read a Twilight movie review on a Monday morning ?

Thanks but no thanks.
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Old 28.11.2011, 11:01
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

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Old 28.11.2011, 11:24
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Re: Excellent Review on that Twilight movie.

I refuse to watch it since it wasn't really filmed in Forks, Washington. Devious filmmakers.
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