Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Off-Topic > Off-Topic > Jokes/funnies  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 17.06.2013, 18:01
Castro's Avatar
à la mod
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: ZG
Posts: 5,652
Groaned at 124 Times in 100 Posts
Thanked 17,011 Times in 5,397 Posts
Castro has a reputation beyond reputeCastro has a reputation beyond reputeCastro has a reputation beyond reputeCastro has a reputation beyond reputeCastro has a reputation beyond reputeCastro has a reputation beyond repute
The definition of a Chain Reaction



Club Daum erupted into pandemonium Saturday night after 24 year old Ellen Harris, while under the influence of an explosive cocktail of drugs and alcohol, defecated on the dance floor. "She just squatted on the floor, let loose a giant deuce, and kept dancing as if nothing had happened," says James Deer, the manager and proprietary of the venue. "I was across the room, talking with the bartender when I noticed what happened."

The dance floor was crowded at the time of the incident. Party goers near Harris soon found themselves slipping and sliding through her brown river. "I was walking towards the bar to buy some mojitos for me and my girlfriend when I noticed three people fall down in front of me. When they got up, their arms and shirts were soaked and nasty looking. One of the guys who got up sniffed his arm and within seconds of doing that, he puked all over himself" says Clarence Brown, a 19 year old American who was visiting Montreal for his birthday. "He just kept puking. It was all over the floor, which caused other dancers to slip and fall. I turned tail to return to my girlfriend, but someone behind me grabbed my shoulder for support as they were falling down, which caused me to go down with them. When I hit the ground, I could feel that my pants were wet. I was sitting in vomit. I got up as best as I could without touching the floor, but I still managed to get a bunch on my hand and arms. I'm surprised I didn't puke, because everyone else was."

"Ellen was still dancing like nothing had happened. Everyone around her was on the floor, covered in vomit, yelling and screaming and freaking out, and she was just bopping her head, oblivious to it all, trapped in some sort of drug fuelled alternate reality" says James Deer. "I was in a state of shock. No one can prepare a club owner for a situation like this. It was like a war zone. The vomiting was contagious. Within minutes of that idiot crapping on the dance floor, there must have been twenty or thirty people puking all over themselves and each other in my club. The place stunk of feces, bile, and human failure."

The paramedics were called, and the bouncers cleared the dance floor.

"I closed the club early, but I don't know if i'll ever open it again. Not without a serious overhaul. Ellen Harris ruined Club Daum. From now on, Daum will forever be associated with people vomiting all over each other."

Ellen Harris couldn't be reached for comment.

Source
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 17.06.2013, 18:03
Phil_MCR's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 14,690
Groaned at 284 Times in 189 Posts
Thanked 18,541 Times in 7,785 Posts
Phil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

you can't buy this kind of publicity!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 17.06.2013, 18:07
adrianlondon's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 9,131
Groaned at 170 Times in 153 Posts
Thanked 25,643 Times in 6,892 Posts
adrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

Excellent story. I especially like his quote "The place stunk of feces, bile, and human failure".
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 17.06.2013, 18:41
alanshearer's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 460
Groaned at 10 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 467 Times in 215 Posts
alanshearer has a reputation beyond reputealanshearer has a reputation beyond reputealanshearer has a reputation beyond reputealanshearer has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

Chain Reaction? Were they playing a Diana Ross song at the time? Now that was a shit song!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 17.06.2013, 18:55
alanshearer's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 460
Groaned at 10 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 467 Times in 215 Posts
alanshearer has a reputation beyond reputealanshearer has a reputation beyond reputealanshearer has a reputation beyond reputealanshearer has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

Quote:
View Post
Excellent story. I especially like his quote "The place stunk of feces, bile, and human failure".
Sounds like Mike Ashley. Joe Kinnear and Aland Pardew
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 17.06.2013, 20:12
mirfield's Avatar
Moddy Wellies
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 8,721
Groaned at 53 Times in 47 Posts
Thanked 9,888 Times in 3,636 Posts
mirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond reputemirfield has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

"The place stunk of feces, bile, and human failure."

Sounds like most of the pubs in Bradford city centre.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 17.06.2013, 20:14
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Formerly in Neuchatel
Posts: 3,043
Groaned at 231 Times in 158 Posts
Thanked 5,919 Times in 2,169 Posts
porsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

Quote:
View Post
"The place stunk of feces, bile, and human failure."

Sounds like the mod zone
Oh yes I did!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 17.06.2013, 20:48
adrianlondon's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 9,131
Groaned at 170 Times in 153 Posts
Thanked 25,643 Times in 6,892 Posts
adrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

Quote:
View Post
Oh yes I did!
You used to tell jokes. What happened?
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 17.06.2013, 20:53
Phil_MCR's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 14,690
Groaned at 284 Times in 189 Posts
Thanked 18,541 Times in 7,785 Posts
Phil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

Quote:
View Post
You used to tell jokes. What happened?
He got to the end of his joke book.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 17.06.2013, 20:53
Slaphead's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Zürich
Posts: 3,223
Groaned at 34 Times in 30 Posts
Thanked 9,408 Times in 2,870 Posts
Slaphead has a reputation beyond reputeSlaphead has a reputation beyond reputeSlaphead has a reputation beyond reputeSlaphead has a reputation beyond reputeSlaphead has a reputation beyond reputeSlaphead has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

This thread is nothing without a video.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 17.06.2013, 21:14
MusicChick's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,488
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,428 Times in 10,577 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

I wish I did not open this thread, over a festive dinner.

What a way to remember my child's first tooth out.


It's ok, being an ER nurse does one prep for some crazy moments, I just
how that lady felt the next day..
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 17.06.2013, 21:45
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Formerly in Neuchatel
Posts: 3,043
Groaned at 231 Times in 158 Posts
Thanked 5,919 Times in 2,169 Posts
porsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond reputeporsch1909 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The definition of a Chain Reaction

Quote:
View Post
He got to the end of his joke book.
You cut me deep
Reply With Quote
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Bad reaction of administration when leaving an apartment sunflower76 Complaints corner 9 09.03.2012 17:30
Despite the bad reaction to the hot dishes, there are no plans to cancel next year’s Ittigen Food and drink 1 06.10.2011 12:01
Definition of irony... PaddyG Daily life 2 14.01.2009 18:05
Rage, discombobulated revelment and the definition of slander Guest General off-topic 519 23.07.2008 18:34


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 13:07.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0