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26.01.2017, 21:14
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
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26.01.2017, 22:17
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present..
They are due back at the library today.
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26.01.2017, 22:38
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Zurich
Posts: 10,583
Groaned at 222 Times in 187 Posts
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
| Quote: | |  | | | ZEN TEACHINGS
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you pass wind.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone £10 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving..
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse - then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. | | | | | you're forgetting the advice about not eating yellow snow
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26.01.2017, 22:53
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Earth
Posts: 804
Groaned at 40 Times in 27 Posts
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Lip reading at Trump's inauguration |
28.01.2017, 09:43
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Best City, Greatest Nation
Posts: 1,412
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Worthy of this thread I think  |
28.01.2017, 13:03
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I broke my finger the other week..
On the other hand, I'm okay.
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28.01.2017, 23:02
|  | Member | | Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Aargau
Posts: 224
Groaned at 4 Times in 1 Post
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
A teacher asks the class "Who can tell me the name of Robin Hood's lover ?
Little Jimmy raises his hand and says "Miss, it is Trudy Glen"
"No Jimmy, it was Maid Marion".
"But Miss, what about the song 'Robin Hood, Robin Hood , riding Trudy Glen' ? "
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29.01.2017, 16:52
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
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30.01.2017, 21:05
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
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02.02.2017, 18:21
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Lugano
Posts: 28,462
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Tom
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03.02.2017, 11:34
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
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06.02.2017, 18:40
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
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08.02.2017, 19:14
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
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09.02.2017, 23:12
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
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12.02.2017, 17:24
| | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Best City, Greatest Nation
Posts: 1,412
Groaned at 197 Times in 109 Posts
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
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13.02.2017, 15:16
| | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Basel-Stadt
Posts: 509
Groaned at 33 Times in 23 Posts
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
What comes between sex and fear?
Fünf.
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13.02.2017, 18:10
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: canton ZH
Posts: 10,992
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
The book "understanding woman" is now available.  |
13.02.2017, 18:57
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Oh great! I have already got the book on understanding men.
No words - just a mixture of pics and blank pages    |
13.02.2017, 19:00
| | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: canton ZH
Posts: 10,992
Groaned at 175 Times in 146 Posts
Thanked 12,309 Times in 6,461 Posts
| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
| Quote: | | | | | Oh great! I have already got the book on understanding men.
No words - just a mixture of pics and blank pages
Attachment 122561 | | | | | Goody, your husband can use that as a book-mark while reading his.
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13.02.2017, 21:11
| | | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
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