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  #2181  
Old 26.01.2017, 21:14
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2182  
Old 26.01.2017, 22:17
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present..


They are due back at the library today.
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  #2183  
Old 26.01.2017, 22:38
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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ZEN TEACHINGS

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you pass wind.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone £10 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience and most of that comes from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving..

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse - then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
you're forgetting the advice about not eating yellow snow
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  #2184  
Old 26.01.2017, 22:53
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Lip reading at Trump's inauguration

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  #2185  
Old 28.01.2017, 09:43
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Worthy of this thread I think

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  #2186  
Old 28.01.2017, 13:03
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I broke my finger the other week..

On the other hand, I'm okay.
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  #2187  
Old 28.01.2017, 23:02
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A teacher asks the class "Who can tell me the name of Robin Hood's lover ?

Little Jimmy raises his hand and says "Miss, it is Trudy Glen"

"No Jimmy, it was Maid Marion".

"But Miss, what about the song 'Robin Hood, Robin Hood , riding Trudy Glen' ? "
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  #2188  
Old 29.01.2017, 16:52
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2189  
Old 30.01.2017, 21:05
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2190  
Old 02.02.2017, 18:21
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]



Tom
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  #2191  
Old 03.02.2017, 11:34
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2192  
Old 06.02.2017, 18:40
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2193  
Old 08.02.2017, 19:14
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2194  
Old 09.02.2017, 23:12
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2195  
Old 12.02.2017, 17:24
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2196  
Old 13.02.2017, 15:16
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

What comes between sex and fear?

Fünf.
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  #2197  
Old 13.02.2017, 18:10
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

The book "understanding woman" is now available.

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-understanding_woman.jpg
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  #2198  
Old 13.02.2017, 18:57
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Oh great! I have already got the book on understanding men.

No words - just a mixture of pics and blank pages

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-top_5_smallest_book_in_the_world.jpg
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  #2199  
Old 13.02.2017, 19:00
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Oh great! I have already got the book on understanding men.

No words - just a mixture of pics and blank pages

Attachment 122561
Goody, your husband can use that as a book-mark while reading his.
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  #2200  
Old 13.02.2017, 21:11
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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