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  #2241  
Old 25.03.2017, 19:33
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I bought my mate an elephant for his room.

He said "Thank you"

I said "Don't mention it"
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  #2242  
Old 27.03.2017, 19:44
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-c7s-qqrvsaaqjmg.jpg
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  #2243  
Old 27.03.2017, 19:47
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Did you hear about the band called 1.023 megabytes ?
They haven't got a gig yet.
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  #2244  
Old 27.03.2017, 21:52
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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I bought my mate an elephant for his room.

He said "Thank you"

I said "Don't mention it"
very good!
There's also this variation:

My parents gave me an elephant for my room.
I said: "Thank you."
They said: "Don't mention it."
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  #2245  
Old 27.03.2017, 23:11
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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very good!
There's also this variation:

My parents gave me an elephant for my room.
I said: "Thank you."
They said: "Don't mention it."
excellent!
Have you heard this variation?:

I gave my nephew an elephant for his room.

He said "Thank you"

I said "Don't mention it"
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  #2246  
Old 27.03.2017, 23:39
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

excellent!
Have you heard this variation?:

I gave my Dad an elephant for his room.

It f/cking trashed it! What was I thinking.
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  #2247  
Old 30.03.2017, 22:43
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

No more Elephants.

How about a panda in a restaurant?

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!”

The panda yells back at the manager, “Hey man, I m a PANDA! Look it up!”

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: “A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
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  #2248  
Old 30.03.2017, 23:19
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2249  
Old 30.03.2017, 23:34
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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No more Elephants.

How about a panda in a restaurant?

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!”

The panda yells back at the manager, “Hey man, I m a PANDA! Look it up!”

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: “A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
very good!
There's also this variation:

An Australian man is like a wombat. He eats, roots, shoots and leaves.
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  #2250  
Old 30.03.2017, 23:37
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Just gonna sit here and wait for Adrian...
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  #2251  
Old 30.03.2017, 23:47
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Just gonna sit here and wait for Adrian...
brilliant!
There's also this variation:

Just gonna wait here and sit for Adrian...
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  #2252  
Old 31.03.2017, 00:17
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2253  
Old 31.03.2017, 10:54
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-2382975959a6be199d0161aaad100a8c7ef618e8.png

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-s22ftwp.png

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  #2254  
Old 31.03.2017, 11:39
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Re: Doctor cuts off boys penis during circumcision

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?""Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.""Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these biscuit purchases. What do you do with the crumbs?""Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits.""I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi."Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?""Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."

But back on topic, what do you do with a short sighted Circumciser? He gets the sack....
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  #2255  
Old 31.03.2017, 12:18
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

This is supposed to be the terrible jokes thread, they are quite good, but I didn't understand the elephant in the room.


Advice for an old guy....

I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in ....

I asked the trainer standing next to me,"What machine should I use to impress that young lady over there?"

The trainer looked me over and said,"
I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."
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  #2256  
Old 31.03.2017, 12:42
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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This is supposed to be the terrible jokes thread, they are quite good, but I didn't understand the elephant in the room.
Love the joke, Sbrinz

Elephant in the room - idiom.

The elephant is the obvious subject/problem/situation in the room/conversation/argument that no one talks about or mention.. hence the joke: a gift of an Elephant to put in ones room; thanks for the gift; don't mention it.. get it?
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  #2257  
Old 31.03.2017, 12:44
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

https://www.google.ch/search?q=eleph...Qf-8M:&spf=199
Elephant on psychiatrist's couch

https://www.google.ch/search?q=eleph...5uXDM:&spf=292
Elephant in court
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  #2258  
Old 31.03.2017, 13:05
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

http://bizarro.com/comics/january-7-2016/
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  #2259  
Old 31.03.2017, 13:06
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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This is supposed to be the terrible jokes thread, they are quite good, but I didn't understand the elephant in the room.


Advice for an old guy....

I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in ....

I asked the trainer standing next to me,"What machine should I use to impress that young lady over there?"

The trainer looked me over and said,"
I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."
Didn't find it funny when I saw it in today's 20 Minutes either
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  #2260  
Old 31.03.2017, 22:04
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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Love the joke, Sbrinz

Elephant in the room - idiom.

The elephant is the obvious subject/problem/situation in the room/conversation/argument that no one talks about or mention.. hence the joke: a gift of an Elephant to put in ones room; thanks for the gift; don't mention it.. get it?
Too bad there's no 'thanks' button on this thread.

There's no 'don't mention it' button, either
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