The first one - Banksy?

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A funny thing happened during a concert by the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night.

The fella playing the triangle disappeared.

Goodness, never realised that the title "terrible jokes" was meant literally.

Will now return to my everyday Swiss life (although, if the quote was from your kids then that's so cool). Go Hants comedy - the Swiss have no sense of humour apparently, according to recent threads.

Yes, but it's wonderfully terrible

Next:

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In the meantime...

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Sometimes you need to stand back to get the full picture.

I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him.

I shouted - "Where you off to Charlie?"

He said, "I'm off to change a light bulb."

Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then said, "That's gonna be a bit awkward innit?"

"Not really." he said. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard."

A Duck stands by the side of the road waiting to cross.

A chicken comes up next to him and says

"Mate, don't bother, you won't hear the end of it".

For all Chemistry Profressional, a good idea to celebrate something.

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Teacher: "What is your favourite letter of the alphabet?"

Student: "The letter G, Miss"

Teacher: "Why is that, Angus?"

and the thread lives up to it's title..

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hunting flies," He responded.

"Oh, killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?

He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."