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  #2461  
Old 27.10.2017, 22:23
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Matt Lauer's halloween costumes.. terrrrible..

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-screen-shot-2017-10-27-20.21.13.jpg
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  #2462  
Old 27.10.2017, 23:38
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2463  
Old 31.10.2017, 23:09
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

repertoire-terrible-jokes-i-challenge-you-8jdp1ppgdb_a_mafqv5mwjdoovyd6oby481rgafnf0w.jpg
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  #2464  
Old 31.10.2017, 23:34
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A duck walks into a puband orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck.


"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that," Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.


"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck.


"I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him


"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvelous,"says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.


"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck.


"Where is it?"

"At the circus," Says the barman.

"The circus?" Repeats the duck.

"That's right," Replies the barman.

"The circus?" The duck asks again.




“”With the big tent?" "Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says ............



Why would they need a plasterer?



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  #2465  
Old 01.11.2017, 16:34
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

-
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  #2466  
Old 01.11.2017, 16:43
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

19 Million Views... in 2 days! That is a terrible joke (but I am kind of smitten )

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  #2467  
Old 01.11.2017, 18:05
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
Originally Posted by starmir View Post
19 Million Views... in 2 days! That is a terrible joke (but I am kind of smitten )

This is filmed in Vancouver!!!!!
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  #2468  
Old 01.11.2017, 18:22
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swisstree View Post
Wasn't there some law in the middle ages that said that anybody who committed suicide would be hanged.

I bet that scared them into obedience.
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  #2469  
Old 01.11.2017, 18:42
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
Originally Posted by amogles View Post
Wasn't there some law in the middle ages that said that anybody who committed suicide would be hanged.

I bet that scared them into obedience.
I wouldn't know, amogles.. wasn't around then
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  #2470  
Old 01.11.2017, 18:55
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swisstree View Post
I wouldn't know, amogles.. wasn't around then
So many young noobs on this board. No exüerience. No memory. So sad.

I do miss the smell of Cleopatra's socks.
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  #2471  
Old 01.11.2017, 19:04
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
Originally Posted by amogles View Post
So many young noobs on this board. No exüerience. No memory. So sad.

I do miss the smell of Cleopatra's socks.
..and no thanks button on this thread

Here's a terrible joke to help you get over your loss.

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Hell if I know.
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  #2472  
Old 01.11.2017, 19:55
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2473  
Old 02.11.2017, 23:34
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A few days late ...
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  #2474  
Old 03.11.2017, 14:49
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.


You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence.
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  #2475  
Old 06.11.2017, 12:35
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

.
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  #2476  
Old 06.11.2017, 12:50
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

If guns don't kill people, people kill people, then toasters don't toast toasts, toasts toast toasts.
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  #2477  
Old 06.11.2017, 13:19
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Th3Alchemist View Post
If guns don't kill people, people kill people, then toasters don't toast toasts, toasts toast toasts.
No people toast bread with toasters and people toast people with guns. But you cant toast bread with guns!
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  #2478  
Old 06.11.2017, 13:22
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Not sure whether this should be in the terrible jokes section- but perhaps yes: Trumpadamus predictions:

Trump Twittered on 22 oct 2014, a cartoon that said:

I keep thinking we should include something in the Constitution in case people elect a (ing/crossed out) moron

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...ions?CMP=fb_gu
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  #2479  
Old 12.11.2017, 01:33
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Odile View Post
Not sure whether this should be in the terrible jokes section- but perhaps yes: Trumpadamus predictions:

Trump Twittered on 22 oct 2014, a cartoon that said:

I keep thinking we should include something in the Constitution in case people elect a (ing/crossed out) moron

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...ions?CMP=fb_gu
He really wanted to be sure before running for president
https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/...157888?lang=en
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  #2480  
Old 12.11.2017, 12:03
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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