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  #2481  
Old 12.11.2017, 17:31
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2482  
Old 12.11.2017, 18:10
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Not bad!
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  #2483  
Old 14.11.2017, 11:02
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2484  
Old 16.11.2017, 23:41
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2485  
Old 21.11.2017, 00:47
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Watch out eating those caramels.
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  #2486  
Old 21.11.2017, 00:48
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

One for the season...
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  #2487  
Old 21.11.2017, 22:26
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Enjoy....
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  #2488  
Old 24.11.2017, 00:14
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

umm.....
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  #2489  
Old 25.11.2017, 11:57
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

An engineer could not find a job, so he opens a clinic, and puts a sign
outside that says "Get treatment for £50; if not cured get back £100".

A doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to show up the engineer and
earn a quick £100. And so he visits the clinic.

Doctor: I have lost my sense of taste.

Engineer: Nurse , bring the medicine from Box # 22 and place 3 drops In
the patient's mouth.

Patient (Doctor) spits out the medicine and says "This is not medicine.
It's gasoline".

Engineer: Congrats.. You have your taste back ..That will be £50

Doctor gets annoyed, and returns after several days to recover his money.

Doctor : I have lost my memory and can't remember a thing...

Engineer: Nurse , bring the medicine from Box # 22 and place 3 drops in
the patient's mouth.

Doctor: "Wait...that medicine is for the sense of taste" protests the
Doctor.

Engineer : Congrats. Your memory is back.. ..That will be £50

Doctor leaves, but after several days angrily returns for one last try.

Doctor : My eyesight has become weak.

Engineer : Well I don't have any medicine for that. Take this £100

Doctor : But this is only a £50 note

Engineer : Congratulations, Your eyesight has gotten better. ..That will
be £50


----
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"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." Groucho Marx.
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  #2490  
Old 10.12.2017, 13:23
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2491  
Old 10.12.2017, 16:28
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

May be slightly language inappropriate.

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  #2492  
Old 10.12.2017, 16:32
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

People complain too much these days. I have a friend who has lost his vocal cords as well as a leg, and you don't see him making a big song and dance about it.



---

Side note: This came from a Christmas present given to me by a student, a book entitled, "3000 jokes and 2997 laughs". I suspect this is a homage (or payback) for my lessons this year.
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  #2493  
Old 11.12.2017, 16:32
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Щhy doэs anyoиe thiиk thэrэ is inflцeиcэ from oцtside ЦSA in its iиtэrиal mattэrs. It is very циlikэly Яцssioиs woцld care a jot. Фиly a fool woцld thiиk this
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  #2494  
Old 11.12.2017, 17:34
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A blonde is walking on the side of a busy road and sees her blonde cousin walking across from her. She calls out,
"How do I get to the other side?"
The cousin laughs,
"Silly, You're already on the other side!"
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  #2495  
Old 11.12.2017, 17:45
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Father: "Son, I've just fixed the indicators on the car, can you go to the front of the car and check 'em out?"
[Son goes to front of car, father in seat switches on indicators]
Father: "Are they working?"
Son: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no....."
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  #2496  
Old 12.12.2017, 08:16
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2497  
Old 12.12.2017, 11:33
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

The Greek god Thor was one day up in the heavens looking down upon the earth when he happened to notice that nobody seemed to be out and about. Curious to know what was going on he decided to come on down to investigate. After wondering about for some time, he finally came to a large building from which came much laughter and rapture . So he went on inside. There to his surprise was a huge party where the earthlings were drinking and being merry. Before long he met a very pretty women that caught his attention and one could say it wasn't long before the two of them hit it off. Days later he was back home in his heavenly abode, but he just couldn't get her out of his mind. Thor said to himself, you know, I should really go back down and let her know who I really am. So after a bit of hesitation, he finally decided to return to earth to let her know. Upon arrival at the women's home, he said to her. My lady, I think its only fair to let you know that I am the one known as Thor. Upon hearing this, she replied, U dink u r Thor, how u dink I feel?
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  #2498  
Old 12.12.2017, 11:51
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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The Greek Norse god Thor was one day up in the heavens looking down upon the earth when he happened to notice that nobody seemed to be out and about. Curious to know what was going on he decided to come on down to investigate. After wondering about for some time, he finally came to a large building from which came much laughter and rapture . So he went on inside. There to his surprise was a huge party where the earthlings were drinking and being merry. Before long he met a very pretty women that caught his attention and one could say it wasn't long before the two of them hit it off. Days later he was back home in his heavenly abode, but he just couldn't get her out of his mind. Thor said to himself, you know, I should really go back down and let her know who I really am. So after a bit of hesitation, he finally decided to return to earth to let her know. Upon arrival at the women's home, he said to her. My lady, I think its only fair to let you know that I am the one known as Thor. Upon hearing this, she replied, U dink u r Thor, how u dink I feel?
ftfy
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  #2499  
Old 12.12.2017, 11:59
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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ftfy
Nope, it's still not funny...
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  #2500  
Old 12.12.2017, 12:10
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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ftfy
Oh yes! Same difference! thanks!
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