Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Off-Topic > Off-Topic > Jokes/funnies
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #2521  
Old 25.12.2017, 16:51
Rob's Avatar
Rob Rob is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Baden AG
Posts: 443
Groaned at 7 Times in 6 Posts
Thanked 1,124 Times in 445 Posts
Rob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I've got a Polish friend who's a sound technician and a Czech one too Czech one too.
Reply With Quote
  #2522  
Old 25.12.2017, 16:53
Rob's Avatar
Rob Rob is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Baden AG
Posts: 443
Groaned at 7 Times in 6 Posts
Thanked 1,124 Times in 445 Posts
Rob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I hate it when these people rock up, banging on the door, telling me that I need to be “saved” or I will “burn”.

Flaming Firemen, who do they think they are?
Reply With Quote
  #2523  
Old 26.12.2017, 09:25
TobiasM's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Zürich
Posts: 1,118
Groaned at 147 Times in 104 Posts
Thanked 2,120 Times in 988 Posts
TobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, no legs and he floats in the water?
Unlucky or dead, Bob.
Reply With Quote
  #2524  
Old 28.12.2017, 20:10
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 2,253
Groaned at 30 Times in 22 Posts
Thanked 5,140 Times in 1,708 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Name:  5017_572e_500.jpg
Views: 571
Size:  28.4 KB
Reply With Quote
  #2525  
Old 29.12.2017, 16:40
TobiasM's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Zürich
Posts: 1,118
Groaned at 147 Times in 104 Posts
Thanked 2,120 Times in 988 Posts
TobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A pregnant woman falls into a coma. 6 months later she awakens and asks the doctors about her baby.

The doctor tells her that in fact she had two healthy babies a boy and a girl and that her brother was looking after them and had given them names.

Oh no said the women, I mean I am glad he's looking after them, but he's a bit of a plonker, what are the names she asked? fearing the worst.

The doctor replied, he named the girl Denise.

Well thats not so bad, said the mother with relief, what is my boy called?

Danephew, replied the doctor.

Reply With Quote
  #2526  
Old 29.12.2017, 17:04
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 2,253
Groaned at 30 Times in 22 Posts
Thanked 5,140 Times in 1,708 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
A pregnant woman falls into a coma. 6 months later she awakens and asks the doctors about her baby.

The doctor tells her that in fact she had two healthy babies a boy and a girl and that her brother was looking after them and had given them names.

Oh no said the women, I mean I am glad he's looking after them, but he's a bit of a plonker, what are the names she asked? fearing the worst.

The doctor replied, he named the girl Denise.

Well thats not so bad, said the mother with relief, what is my boy called?

Danephew, replied the doctor.

belly laugh

Reply With Quote
  #2527  
Old 29.12.2017, 17:29
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 2,253
Groaned at 30 Times in 22 Posts
Thanked 5,140 Times in 1,708 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Name:  SxtLI6Cm.jpg
Views: 527
Size:  27.8 KB
Reply With Quote
  #2528  
Old 06.01.2018, 00:18
Swisstree's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hants/ZH
Posts: 2,253
Groaned at 30 Times in 22 Posts
Thanked 5,140 Times in 1,708 Posts
Swisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond reputeSwisstree has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Reply With Quote
  #2529  
Old 08.01.2018, 19:09
TobiasM's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Zürich
Posts: 1,118
Groaned at 147 Times in 104 Posts
Thanked 2,120 Times in 988 Posts
TobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond reputeTobiasM has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Name:  26238876_2048060701881597_6431336013429671161_n.jpg
Views: 419
Size:  215.1 KB
Reply With Quote
  #2530  
Old 10.01.2018, 20:54
Verbier's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lully VD
Posts: 3,933
Groaned at 13 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 3,997 Times in 2,053 Posts
Verbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Reply With Quote
  #2531  
Old 17.01.2018, 15:09
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Zürich
Posts: 216
Groaned at 68 Times in 38 Posts
Thanked 153 Times in 91 Posts
PilatesFan is considered a nuisancePilatesFan is considered a nuisancePilatesFan is considered a nuisance
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Did you hear about the drummer who gave all his daughters the same name?

Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4
Reply With Quote
  #2532  
Old 19.01.2018, 11:44
robBob's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Zurich
Posts: 1,241
Groaned at 24 Times in 14 Posts
Thanked 894 Times in 532 Posts
robBob has earned the respect of manyrobBob has earned the respect of manyrobBob has earned the respect of many
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Name:  WorkingThingOut.jpg
Views: 298
Size:  159.9 KB
Reply With Quote
  #2533  
Old 19.01.2018, 13:47
Th3Alchemist's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: ZG & GR
Posts: 484
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 663 Times in 247 Posts
Th3Alchemist has an excellent reputationTh3Alchemist has an excellent reputationTh3Alchemist has an excellent reputationTh3Alchemist has an excellent reputation
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

What do they call the Hunger Games in France?

> Battle Royale with Cheese.

...because of the metric system
Reply With Quote
  #2534  
Old 22.01.2018, 13:15
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Turkey
Posts: 0
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
salokolo has no particular reputation at present
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
Reply With Quote
  #2535  
Old 22.01.2018, 13:21
Th3Alchemist's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: ZG & GR
Posts: 484
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 663 Times in 247 Posts
Th3Alchemist has an excellent reputationTh3Alchemist has an excellent reputationTh3Alchemist has an excellent reputationTh3Alchemist has an excellent reputation
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

The other day I saw some mimes performing on the street. Out of nothing they attacked me.
They did unspeakable things to me
Reply With Quote
  #2536  
Old 04.02.2018, 16:59
Rob's Avatar
Rob Rob is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Baden AG
Posts: 443
Groaned at 7 Times in 6 Posts
Thanked 1,124 Times in 445 Posts
Rob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A horse is in the pub having a few jars when he spots a donkey in the corner so he nips over to have a natter. The donkey asks "what did you do for a living" the horse replies " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter"

Donkey says "I worked with the kids on Blackpool beach" , then he asks "Did you win anything" horse says "yeah on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”.

They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later, the donkey thinks, "I need to impress this **** he's done everything" , so he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace. The horse arrives and says "Lovely place you have here and who's that in the picture on the wall", the donkey replies " Thats me when I played for Juventus !"
__________________
We fought them until Hell froze over. And then played hockey on the ice.
Reply With Quote
  #2537  
Old 28.02.2018, 17:19
Th3Alchemist's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: ZG & GR
Posts: 484
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 663 Times in 247 Posts
Th3Alchemist has an excellent reputationTh3Alchemist has an excellent reputationTh3Alchemist has an excellent reputationTh3Alchemist has an excellent reputation
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

We'll we'll we'll... if it isn't autocorrect...
Reply With Quote
  #2538  
Old 28.02.2018, 20:58
Rob's Avatar
Rob Rob is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Baden AG
Posts: 443
Groaned at 7 Times in 6 Posts
Thanked 1,124 Times in 445 Posts
Rob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond reputeRob has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I read that it’s illegal to have sex while drunk in Iceland.

Not sure what the rules are in Tesco.
Reply With Quote
  #2539  
Old 28.02.2018, 22:24
VenusC's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Zug
Posts: 192
Groaned at 3 Times in 2 Posts
Thanked 301 Times in 118 Posts
VenusC has an excellent reputationVenusC has an excellent reputationVenusC has an excellent reputationVenusC has an excellent reputation
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

'My friend gifted me a mug with a naked woman. My wife broke the damn mug and kicked the naked b&tch out!'
Reply With Quote
  #2540  
Old 28.02.2018, 22:44
curley's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: canton ZH
Posts: 6,147
Groaned at 68 Times in 63 Posts
Thanked 6,406 Times in 3,448 Posts
curley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
View Post
'My friend gifted me a mug with a naked woman. My wife broke the damn mug and kicked the naked b&tch out!'
I thought that was a FWP until I checked the thread title.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
funnies, punography




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
EF Challenge: Number plate cushions litespeed Transportation/driving 42 30.08.2013 22:54
Website Challenge Lob Jokes/funnies 38 01.07.2008 21:01
I think I may be making a terrible mistake !! gypsy21 Daily life 66 26.04.2007 23:09
Ski Challenge Nickj General off-topic 0 04.12.2006 12:33


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 19:02.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0