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  #2521  
Old 25.12.2017, 16:51
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I've got a Polish friend who's a sound technician and a Czech one too Czech one too.
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  #2522  
Old 25.12.2017, 16:53
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I hate it when these people rock up, banging on the door, telling me that I need to be “saved” or I will “burn”.

Flaming Firemen, who do they think they are?
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  #2523  
Old 26.12.2017, 09:25
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, no legs and he floats in the water?
Unlucky or dead, Bob.
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  #2524  
Old 28.12.2017, 20:10
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2525  
Old 29.12.2017, 16:40
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A pregnant woman falls into a coma. 6 months later she awakens and asks the doctors about her baby.

The doctor tells her that in fact she had two healthy babies a boy and a girl and that her brother was looking after them and had given them names.

Oh no said the women, I mean I am glad he's looking after them, but he's a bit of a plonker, what are the names she asked? fearing the worst.

The doctor replied, he named the girl Denise.

Well thats not so bad, said the mother with relief, what is my boy called?

Danephew, replied the doctor.

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  #2526  
Old 29.12.2017, 17:04
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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A pregnant woman falls into a coma. 6 months later she awakens and asks the doctors about her baby.

The doctor tells her that in fact she had two healthy babies a boy and a girl and that her brother was looking after them and had given them names.

Oh no said the women, I mean I am glad he's looking after them, but he's a bit of a plonker, what are the names she asked? fearing the worst.

The doctor replied, he named the girl Denise.

Well thats not so bad, said the mother with relief, what is my boy called?

Danephew, replied the doctor.

belly laugh

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  #2527  
Old 29.12.2017, 17:29
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2528  
Old 06.01.2018, 00:18
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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  #2529  
Old 08.01.2018, 19:09
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2530  
Old 10.01.2018, 20:54
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2531  
Old 17.01.2018, 15:09
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Did you hear about the drummer who gave all his daughters the same name?

Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4
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  #2532  
Old 19.01.2018, 11:44
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2533  
Old 19.01.2018, 13:47
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

What do they call the Hunger Games in France?

> Battle Royale with Cheese.

...because of the metric system
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  #2534  
Old 22.01.2018, 13:15
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
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  #2535  
Old 22.01.2018, 13:21
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

The other day I saw some mimes performing on the street. Out of nothing they attacked me.
They did unspeakable things to me
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  #2536  
Old 04.02.2018, 16:59
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A horse is in the pub having a few jars when he spots a donkey in the corner so he nips over to have a natter. The donkey asks "what did you do for a living" the horse replies " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter"

Donkey says "I worked with the kids on Blackpool beach" , then he asks "Did you win anything" horse says "yeah on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”.

They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later, the donkey thinks, "I need to impress this **** he's done everything" , so he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace. The horse arrives and says "Lovely place you have here and who's that in the picture on the wall", the donkey replies " Thats me when I played for Juventus !"
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  #2537  
Old 28.02.2018, 17:19
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

We'll we'll we'll... if it isn't autocorrect...
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  #2538  
Old 28.02.2018, 20:58
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I read that it’s illegal to have sex while drunk in Iceland.

Not sure what the rules are in Tesco.
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  #2539  
Old 28.02.2018, 22:24
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

'My friend gifted me a mug with a naked woman. My wife broke the damn mug and kicked the naked b&tch out!'
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  #2540  
Old 28.02.2018, 22:44
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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'My friend gifted me a mug with a naked woman. My wife broke the damn mug and kicked the naked b&tch out!'
I thought that was a FWP until I checked the thread title.
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