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  #2601  
Old 14.07.2018, 23:45
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Today my yoga instructor was really drunk, which put me in an awkward position.
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  #2602  
Old 16.07.2018, 22:15
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2603  
Old 20.07.2018, 15:23
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2604  
Old 21.07.2018, 08:50
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2605  
Old 04.08.2018, 18:31
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I told my mother in law "When the apocalypse comes, I'll survive by eating human flesh".

"You shitting me?!" She asked.

"Probably" I replied.
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  #2606  
Old 07.08.2018, 21:15
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2607  
Old 08.08.2018, 09:23
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2608  
Old 13.08.2018, 21:44
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Archeologists have discovered an ancient Mummy in Egypt, covered in nuts and chocolate.
They believe it is the lost tomb of Pharaoh Rocher.
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  #2609  
Old 13.08.2018, 21:46
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I hate the new pound coin; but then again I don't like change.
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  #2610  
Old 13.08.2018, 21:47
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Why do anarchists drink herbal tea?

Coz proper tea is theft.
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  #2611  
Old 13.08.2018, 21:48
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

How much did the cockney pay for shampoo?

Pantene.
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  #2612  
Old 13.08.2018, 21:49
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

I read a book on anti gravity.

I couldn't put it down.
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  #2613  
Old 17.08.2018, 11:33
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2614  
Old 20.08.2018, 09:23
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

‘Working at RAV has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day’



ps this joke has been swizerlanded for your reading pleasure
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  #2615  
Old 20.08.2018, 10:30
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

Quote:
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‘Working at RAV has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day’



ps this joke has been swizerlanded for your reading pleasure
top 10 funniest jokes from the 2018 fringe

1) Working at the jobcentre has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day. Adam Rowe

2) I had a job drilling holes for water – it was well boring. Leo Kearse

3) I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed. Olaf Falafel

4) In my last relationship I hated being treated like a piece of meat. She was a vegan and refused to touch me. Daniel Audritt

5) What do colour-blind people do when they are told to eat their greens? Flo & Joan

6) I’ve got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it’s not easy. They keep moving the goalposts. Darren Walsh

7) Trump said he’d build a wall but he hasn’t even picked up a brick. He’s just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project. Justin Moorhouse

8=) I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis. I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it. Adele Cliff

8=) Why are they calling it Brexit and not The Great British Break Off? Alex Edelman

10) I think love is like central heating. You turn it on before guests arrive and pretend it’s like this all the time. Laura Lexx
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  #2616  
Old 20.08.2018, 10:39
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

'Why America will never beat China? Because in America everybody is a racist, and in China everyone is Chinese."
Dave Chappelle
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  #2617  
Old 20.08.2018, 22:20
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

A bike in town keeps running me over,
it’s a vicious cycle.

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is,
Sphere itself.

My fear of moving stairs is escalating.

I ate a dictionary and got thesaurus throat!

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office, I will kill you, you have my Word.
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  #2618  
Old 24.08.2018, 14:23
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2619  
Old 31.08.2018, 17:21
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

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  #2620  
Old 31.08.2018, 17:51
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Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]

At Friday night services, Morris went to his friend Irving and said, "Irving, I need a favour - I'm sleeping with the rabbi's wife.

Can you hold him in temple for an hour after services for me?”
Irving was not very fond of the idea, but being Morris' lifelong friend, he reluctantly agreed.
After services, he struck up a conversation with the rabbi asking him all sorts of stupid questions in an effort to keep him occupied. After some time, the wise rabbi became suspicious and asked,“Irving what are you really up to with all this?”
Irving, filled with feelings of guilt and remorse, confessed to the rabbi "I'm sorry Rabbi, my friend Morris is sleeping with your wife right now and asked me to keep you occupied.”
The wise rabbi smiled and, putting a brotherly hand on Irving's shoulder, said "Irving I think you'd better hurry home, my wife died two years ago!”
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