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31.08.2018, 22:28
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
My mate, the gravedigger, is off work this week so I’m filling in for him.
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11.09.2018, 12:33
|  | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Baden AG
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
There's a special place in Hull for the man who invented Autocorrect.
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11.09.2018, 12:39
|  | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Baden AG
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Nelson was 5' 6" in real life.
His statue in Trafalgar Square is 17'4"
That's a Horatio of around 3:1
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11.09.2018, 12:39
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | There's a special place in Hull for the man who invented Autocorrect. | | | | | | 
11.09.2018, 15:00
|  | Junior Member | | Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: ZUrich
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | There's a special place in Hull for the man who invented Autocorrect. | | | | | Once you've driven through Hull, then you are on your way to Hedon
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11.09.2018, 15:14
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Pensier, Fribourg
Posts: 9,243
Groaned at 118 Times in 102 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Some of my work's management team are having a week-long leadership workshop and one of the team-building activities is axe throwing (for some reason). I had to remind my manager that "to bury the hatchet" is an idiom, not an SOP.
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16.09.2018, 03:31
| Forum Legend | | Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: ZH
Posts: 8,774
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Someone said yoga can cure scoliosis.
I a hunch it was too good to be true.
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25.09.2018, 12:08
|  | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Baden AG
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Freddie Mercury was at a celebration meal in a Greek restaurant. It had got to that stage in the night when everybody was ready to join in the famous Greek custom of smashing crockery, and waiters were distributing plates to all the diners in readiness.
A waiter came up to Fred and handed him two dinner plates.
Said Fred "Could you please get me another plate?"
"What for?" asked the waiter.
Said Freddie "I want to break three."
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01.10.2018, 14:39
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I saw my friend coming out of the GP's surgery the other day
"Alright Jon?, Haven't seen you in ages, everything ok?"
"Not really, Rich", he replied, "I've just been diagnosed with The Big 'C'..
"Oh no", I replied, "Not cancer"..
"No," he said, "Dyslexia"
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02.10.2018, 11:28
|  | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Baden AG
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Are Creationists really just Primate Change deniers?
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06.10.2018, 10:25
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Zürich
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said “Thanks”
I said “Don’t mention it”
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06.10.2018, 10:27
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Zürich
Posts: 1,257
Groaned at 179 Times in 130 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.
I said “40”
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06.10.2018, 10:28
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Zürich
Posts: 1,257
Groaned at 179 Times in 130 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.
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06.10.2018, 10:29
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Zürich
Posts: 1,257
Groaned at 179 Times in 130 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.
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07.10.2018, 23:47
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: V/G, FR
Posts: 1,083
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | There's a special place in Hull for the man who invented Autocorrect. | | | | | | Quote: | |  | | | Once you've driven through Hull, then you are on your way to Hedon | | | | | Autocorrect has become man's worst enema.
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08.10.2018, 07:32
|  | Modulo 2 | | Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Baselland
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Bono and the Edge walk into a bar. The barman say "Oh no, not you two again".
Last edited by NotAllThere; 08.10.2018 at 08:35.
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08.10.2018, 07:34
|  | Modulo 2 | | Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Baselland
Posts: 15,243
Groaned at 312 Times in 268 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
From the great punster Milton Jones. My daughter was born, and she had jaundice. So there she is, small, round and yellow.
We called her Melonie. | 
08.10.2018, 08:22
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | Bone and the Edge walk into a bar. The barman say "Oh no, not you two again". | | | | | I thought I was being thick but I finally understand the joke. You need to spell Bono right for that to work.
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08.10.2018, 08:35
|  | Modulo 2 | | Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Baselland
Posts: 15,243
Groaned at 312 Times in 268 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | I thought I was being thick but I finally understand the joke. You need to spell Bono right for that to work. | | | | | Corrected. Darn this auto-correct!
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09.10.2018, 08:33
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Kanton Zurich
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I used to have a job in a calender factory but I got to the sack because I took a couple of days off...
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