 | | | 
01.03.2019, 17:55
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,488
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,435 Times in 10,578 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
"We are vegans. What can we order in your restaurant?"
"A cab."
| 
20.03.2019, 13:39
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Kanton Zurich
Posts: 527
Groaned at 7 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 572 Times in 244 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | 
20.03.2019, 15:04
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,488
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,435 Times in 10,578 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
| 
22.03.2019, 16:40
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Her: Undress me with your words...
Him: I saw a spider in your bra.
| 
26.03.2019, 17:43
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,488
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,435 Times in 10,578 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | 
23.05.2019, 01:01
|  | RIP | | Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Eglisau
Posts: 7,248
Groaned at 46 Times in 45 Posts
Thanked 14,131 Times in 5,506 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
A man buys a talking centipede for 5000GBP, and takes it home in a small box.
After 30 minutes he opens the box and asks "Would you like to go for a pint?"
The centipede doesn't answer. Raising his voice he repeats the question, still no reply.
Thinking he's been tricked the man shouts the question again loudly.
The centipede puts his head out of the box and says "I heard you the first time. I'm putting my effing shoes on!"
Last edited by JagWaugh; 23.05.2019 at 01:23.
| 
29.05.2019, 15:12
| Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: CH
Posts: 11,434
Groaned at 407 Times in 333 Posts
Thanked 17,514 Times in 8,868 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I used to be an engineer, but now I am fine.
| 
30.06.2019, 09:13
| Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: CH
Posts: 11,434
Groaned at 407 Times in 333 Posts
Thanked 17,514 Times in 8,868 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I found this joke in a newspaper from back home, I'm not sure if translated sounds as amusing
A drunkard who was spreading a dreadful scent of cheap drink and was carrying a dirty bag, climbs with difficulty into the bus and sits down next to a Catholic priest with a very honourable look.
He takes out of the bag an almost empty bottle and starts drinking with great satisfaction down to the last drop. Then drops the bottle down the aisle and takes out a newspaper.
After a few minutes of reading, he addressed the priest:
"Excuse me, Father, do you know what causes spondylosis?"
"Of course," said the priest, feeling a growing discomfort, on a cold and sarcastic but polite tone. "The factors that lead to spondylosis are: a disorderly life, the companionship of women of questionable quality, the exaggerated consumption of tobacco and alcohol, drunks ending with nights spent in brothels, all of these lead to spondylosis ..."
- "Wooooow! I would have never thought", says the drunk and returns to his newspaper.
The priest, a very kind person though, after thinking of what he said, is addressing the drunk again, this time in a gentle and peaceful tone:
- Excuse me, I did not mean to offend you, since when do you suffer from spondylosis, son?
- Me? Father ... I never suffered like this. I just read in the paper that the Pope has spondylosis.
| 
30.07.2019, 08:42
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,488
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,435 Times in 10,578 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | 
08.08.2019, 21:24
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,290
Groaned at 67 Times in 52 Posts
Thanked 3,281 Times in 1,747 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | 
23.08.2019, 10:38
| Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Uetikon am See
Posts: 1,482
Groaned at 13 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 1,691 Times in 757 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I just read in the paper a dwarf got pickpocketed.
"Who would stoop so low?"
| 
16.09.2019, 16:56
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Milky Way
Posts: 1,803
Groaned at 152 Times in 103 Posts
Thanked 4,789 Times in 1,886 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
“Yesterday was a beauty. I put on my shirt and a button fell off...
I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off...
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.”
-Rodney Dangerfield
| 
16.09.2019, 20:32
|  | Member | | Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Geneva
Posts: 207
Groaned at 35 Times in 24 Posts
Thanked 254 Times in 132 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
What do you get when you mix a locomotive with bubblegum?
A chew chew train
| 
27.09.2019, 18:31
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,488
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,435 Times in 10,578 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | What do you get when you mix a locomotive with bubblegum?
A chew chew train | | | | | That's a great one, Dinivan. | 
27.09.2019, 19:03
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Zurich area
Posts: 13,025
Groaned at 101 Times in 90 Posts
Thanked 19,970 Times in 8,852 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
What do you get when you cross a tape worm with a sea urchin?
Barbed wire.
| 
27.09.2019, 19:56
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,290
Groaned at 67 Times in 52 Posts
Thanked 3,281 Times in 1,747 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Graveyards are so popular that everyone is just dying to get in.
| 
27.09.2019, 21:20
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,488
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,435 Times in 10,578 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Hahahaha... | 
29.09.2019, 21:29
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Zurich, West-side
Posts: 2,203
Groaned at 8 Times in 7 Posts
Thanked 1,343 Times in 709 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
What's yellow and dangerous?
Shark-infested custard.
| 
02.10.2019, 16:21
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,488
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,435 Times in 10,578 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | 
09.10.2019, 20:16
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Earth
Posts: 902
Groaned at 41 Times in 28 Posts
Thanked 1,341 Times in 581 Posts
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey you're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?" The horse replies "I don't think I am." And poof! it disappears from existence.
This joke is a reference to the philosopher Descartes and his famous line "I think, therefore I am."
I could have explained this first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | | Thread Tools | | Display Modes | Linear Mode |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts HTML code is Off | | | All times are GMT +2. The time now is 07:57. | |