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26.03.2010, 23:49
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: town not big enough for the both of us
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Q: Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
A: She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
bring on the groans!
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27.03.2010, 00:00
|  | Member | | Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Versoix
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
| Quote: | |  | | | Q: Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
A: She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
bring on the groans! | | | | | Q:Why did Elton John sing at Princess Diana's funeral?
A: Because the Crash Test Dummies were unavailable..
Ha de ha ha....ha
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27.03.2010, 16:15
|  | Newbie 1st class | | Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: near Luzern
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Q: Who are the "coolest" people in a Hospital?
A: the Ultra Sound people of course!!  |
29.03.2010, 08:50
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Lummerland
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Groaned at 207 Times in 140 Posts
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
If it starts as a really bad joke some years ago, but now everyone has heard it, has it groan up??
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29.03.2010, 08:52
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Far far away
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Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together |
29.03.2010, 08:52
| | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Far far away
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Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery |
03.04.2010, 23:02
|  | Moddy Wellies | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: North Yorkshire
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Son asked his mother, "Mum, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."
He thanks his mum and goes off to double-check with his father.
"Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and takes him on a walkabout. He shows him the fridge and asks him what colour it is. The son replies, "White".
He does the same for the dishwasher, the washing machine, and the dryer. Each time the boy replies, "White."
"So you see son, all household appliances come in white."
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07.04.2010, 11:42
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: May 2008 Location: Zurich
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
apologies for this as it's rude and sexist:
"A bird in the arse is worth two in the bush"
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07.04.2010, 11:59
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: CH
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
why didn't Superman save Princess Diana?
.... try catching a Mercedes with a wheelchair
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09.04.2010, 17:06
| | Moddy Wellies | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: North Yorkshire
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I got the wife a bag and a belt for her birthday.
She wasn't happy, but at least the hoover works now.
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09.04.2010, 17:13
| | Moddy Wellies | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: North Yorkshire
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I gave the wife a ring for our anniversary.
I said, "Happy Anniversary. I'm finishing early today so have my tea ready for 5."
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09.04.2010, 17:37
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Geneva
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
| Quote: | | | | | why didn't Superman save Princess Diana?
.... try catching a Mercedes with a wheelchair | | | | | wow.just wow.
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09.04.2010, 17:54
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: C.H.
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
| Quote: | | | | | wow.just wow. | | | | | Made me sit up straight, that's for sure.
I think this is the winner so far on this thread, it really is terrible, in so many ways, like the one about what it would take to get the Beatles back together...
Not condemning it at all, I can appreciate the sharp wit, just couldn't help feeling it's a bit wrong somehow, which probably makes it a good joke actually, but,,, oh dear,now I'm all confused.
Edit, Mirfield, your last ones were pretty darn good as well, in a Tommy Cooper type of way.
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27.04.2010, 22:04
| | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: CH
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant! He shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!"
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
__________________ Resist, support, donate: ACLU
They tried to bury us, they did not know that we are seeds (Mexican proverb) |
27.04.2010, 22:25
| | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Far far away
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
I asked the wife if we could spice up our sex life with some fantasy rape etc.
She said "no"
That's the spirit
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27.04.2010, 22:50
| | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Zuerich
Posts: 986
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
The squirrels are looking for you, they think you're nuts.
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27.04.2010, 23:37
|  | Newbie 1st class | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Zürich
Posts: 10
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
- An offer you can't understand.
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02.05.2010, 18:13
| | Moddy Wellies | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 8,729
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
'Cos they're ugly and they smell
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06.05.2010, 16:43
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,150
Groaned at 33 Times in 29 Posts
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Three retired Swiss women were flashed at a senior citizen home today in Wallis. Two got a stroke, the other could not reach that far.
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18.05.2010, 16:47
| | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Lummerland
Posts: 5,388
Groaned at 207 Times in 140 Posts
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| | | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Why have scientists started using bankers for experiments instead of rats?
So that they don't become emotionally attached.
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