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19.05.2010, 17:17
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Zurich
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Ya hear about the two peanuts that got on the subway? One was a salted.
I missed my bus this morning. I shouldn't get sentimental about public transport.
I missed my dad yesterday, next time I will use a laser sight.
I ran into my ex the other day in the parking lot. Then I backed up, because sometimes I miss him.
So I heard they finally invented a car that runs on water...
... but you have to get the water from the Gulf of Mexico.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(RUDE JOKE BELOW)~~~~~~~
So a little boy decides to go fishing with his grandpa they weren't catching much. after an hour or two, the grandpa pulled out a bottle of beer to enjoy.
"Grandpa, can I have some?" the boy (named Johnny) asked.
Now,the grandpa knew he couldn't share with the boy, but he decided to crack a joke. "Johnny, can you fit your penis in your own butthole?"
"Well," said Johnny, "no, I really don't think I can."
"Then no, you can't have any beer."
A little while later, grandpa pulled out a cigar to enjoy. Johnny immediately asked, "Grandpa, can I try?"
Again, Grandpa asked, "Can you put your penis in your own butthole?"
"No," said johnny dejectedly.
"Then I'm sorry - you can't try this cigar."
After another hour or two of not catching any fish, Johnny remembers his mommy packed him a cookie for the trip. He pulls it out and starts eating it. "Say, Johnny, how's about givin' your grandpy a bite of that cookie?"
Johnny asked, "Well, grandpa, can you fit your penis in your own butthole?"
Grandpa, intent on outsmarting Johnny, said, "Why of course I can!"
Johnny replied: "Good, then go yourself. This is my cookie."
__________________
Floccinaucinihilipilification: act of describing something as useless.
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21.05.2010, 13:50
|  | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Baden AG
Posts: 465
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Who would you fly? | 
21.05.2010, 13:55
| Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Zürich
Posts: 44
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
what sound does the falling hair make?
ptui, pthu..
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21.05.2010, 14:21
|  | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Baden AG
Posts: 465
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Why the US will do badly at the World Cup | 
26.05.2010, 21:39
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Liechtenstein
Posts: 703
Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
"Ironman" is a superhero. "Iron woman" is a command.
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27.05.2010, 11:50
| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Q: How many people with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Wanna go ride our bikes?
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07.06.2010, 19:12
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Far far away
Posts: 2,178
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Well, that's the last time I get in a Cumbrian taxi and 'call shotgun'.
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07.06.2010, 19:15
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Far far away
Posts: 2,178
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Germany wins Eurovision then four days later an old WWII bomb explodes "unexpectedly".
Carlsberg don't do timely reminders, but if they did....
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10.06.2010, 17:15
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Liechtenstein
Posts: 703
Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Q: What's the world's most dangerous ocean?
A: Hepatitis C.
Q: What's the world's most dangerous insect?
A: Hepatitis B.
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10.06.2010, 17:20
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Zurich
Posts: 676
Groaned at 8 Times in 8 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Is it ok to post a really really offensive jokes? Cause I got the king of distasteful jokes
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10.06.2010, 17:24
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Zurich
Posts: 1,624
Groaned at 10 Times in 9 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | Is it ok to post a really really offensive jokes? Cause I got the king of distasteful jokes | | | | | Well, the worst that can happen is a deleted post or a full week without having to post on EF
Bring it on...
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10.06.2010, 17:30
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: ZH
Posts: 8,103
Groaned at 57 Times in 53 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | Is it ok to post a really really offensive jokes? Cause I got the king of distasteful jokes | | | | | Not if I catch you at it. Though I don't usually read any of the Off Topic Forums so you might have got away with it if you hadn't mentioned it in advance. Now it's too late.
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10.06.2010, 17:30
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Zurich
Posts: 676
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
With the advice of a co-worker, I have decided not to.
But on the plus side, he now has a low opinion of me | 
10.06.2010, 17:32
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: CH
Posts: 3,200
Groaned at 86 Times in 70 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | Is it ok to post a really really offensive jokes? Cause I got the king of distasteful jokes | | | | | you can PM it to me....
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10.06.2010, 18:06
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: town not big enough for the both of us
Posts: 991
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | you can PM it to me.... | | | | |
and me please
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20.06.2010, 08:51
|  | Forum Veteran | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Zurich, West-side
Posts: 2,186
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | Is it ok to post a really really offensive jokes? Cause I got the king of distasteful jokes | | | | | Post it somewhere else, and link to it from here with a warning that it's highly offensive ... problem solved!!
Here's an example of an appropriate place in which to post it! Sydney FC Unofficial's "Lame/sick/offensive joke thread: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED"
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20.06.2010, 23:02
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: CH
Posts: 3,200
Groaned at 86 Times in 70 Posts
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.” | 
02.07.2010, 14:53
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Lummerland
Posts: 5,376
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Just got this very nasty racist joke from a buddy in OZ, read at your own peril.
Deb & I just Fostered an Abbo kid, I got him smack on the back of the head with all six cans, she hit him with five
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02.07.2010, 14:58
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: May 2010 Location: In the kitchen at parties.
Posts: 4,540
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you] | Quote: | |  | | | Just got this very nasty racist joke from a buddy in OZ, read at your own peril.
Deb & I just Fostered an Abbo kid, I got him smack on the back of the head with all six cans, she hit him with five | | | | | <wince> | 
02.07.2010, 15:02
|  | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Zurich
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| | Re: Repertoire of terrible jokes [I challenge you]
Here's another off-color (and sexist, to boot!) terrible joke (you have been warned):
"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a women's track team?"
"Well, one's a bunch of cunning runts..."
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