Three guys tried to learn german, none of them survived.

I bought a new TV for a tenner..
problem was though, the sound was stuck on the highest volume level.

But still, I couldnt turn it down.

More memes...since religion* is so hot again...

*For equal opportunity fun, simply replace the Christian names with those relevan in your religion.

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...and a couple more

The "Going hard for Christ" would have been better if it were "Going hard for Jesus"

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LOL!

http://sfglobe.com/2016/01/25/pediat...0656&pid=40656

WTH?

Why would you post that to a joke thread?

Two Gobstoppers are having a drink in a pub, each boasting about how hard he is, and how he could take any mint in the place. One of them saunters up to a humbug and starts pushing him about, giving him stick, and generally being a menace. Anyway, the humbug manages to squirm out of the way and return to his table where he's having a few drinks with his unassuming minty mates.

The second Gobstopper makes his move next and walks over to the same table, starts intimidating and threatening the mints. He slaps the humbug a few times, and laughs as they all cower away from him. As he's swaggering away, chest puffed up, and eyeing all the rest of the terrified patrons, a Halls Soother walks in, and both gobstoppers dive under the nearest table, holding each other and quaking in fear.

They remain there until the Soother drinks his pint and leaves. Whereupon the barman turns to them, and says that he thought they were hard men. Still shaking, obviously terrified, the bigger Gobstopper peers out from under the table and replies...

.

.

.

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"Are you mad, we're not going near him. Everyone knows he's Menthol!!!"

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"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." Groucho Marx.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose!

You can if you're a plastic surgeon.

Always exceptions!