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Old 19.08.2014, 12:33
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Top 10 jokes from the 201x Edinburgh Fringe

Not as funny as last year, or perhaps I'm just becoming more and more miserable

1. "I've decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust." – Tim Vine

2. "I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set." – Masai Graham

3. "Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief." – Mark Watson

4. "I was given some sudoku toilet paper. It didn't work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s." – Bec Hill

5. "I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn't let me." – Ria Lina

6. "Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal." – Paul F Taylor

7. "Scotland had oil, but it's running out thanks to all that deep frying." – Scott Capurro

8. "I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame 'cause halfway through he disappears up his own arsehole." – Kevin Day

9. "I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven." – Jason Cook

10. "This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it." – Felicity Ward

Source
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Old 19.08.2014, 13:13
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 2014 Edinburgh Fringe

haha very good, especially the first one
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Old 19.08.2014, 13:34
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 2014 Edinburgh Fringe

Only 1, 2, and 10 are even remotely funny.
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Old 19.08.2014, 13:45
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 2014 Edinburgh Fringe

Yeh, number one made me smile. The rest, meh.
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Old 19.08.2014, 14:23
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 2014 Edinburgh Fringe

I went to Google and googled Bob Monkhouse jokes - those were the days .
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Old 19.08.2014, 14:30
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 2014 Edinburgh Fringe

I really wonder the bottom 10 jokes
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Old 19.08.2014, 15:31
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 2014 Edinburgh Fringe

No.1 (Tim Vine's Hoover) won the best [short] joke of the festival.

He also won in 2010 with: 'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
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Old 25.08.2015, 12:24
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 201x Edinburgh Fringe

The top 10 funniest jokes of the 2015 Fringe
  1. "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free" - Darren Walsh
  2. "Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis
  3. "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess
  4. "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter" - Masai Graham
  5. "If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go" - Dave Green
  6. "Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas" - Mark Nelson
  7. "Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day" - Tom Parry
  8. "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves" - Alun Cochrane
  9. "Clowns divorce. Custardy battle" - Simon Munnery
  10. "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for..." - Grace The Child

Darren Walsh's 'Hans Free' pun was the overall winner

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Old 23.08.2016, 09:01
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 201x Edinburgh Fringe

Top 15 funniest jokes from the 2016 Fringe

1. “My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart.” Masai Graham

2. “Why is it old people say ‘there’s no place like home’, yet when you put them in one …” Stuart Mitchell

3. “I’ve been happily married for four years – out of a total of 10.” Mark Watson

4. “Apparently one in three Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.” Mark Smith

5. “I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn’t much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer … came second.” Will Duggan

6. “Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.” Tiff Stevenson

7. “I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words.” Gary Delaney

8. “Why is Henry’s wife covered in tooth marks? Because he’s Tudor.” Adele Cliff

9. “Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?” Annie McGrath

10. “Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.” Jordan Brookes

11. “Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can be president, as long as your husband did it first.” Michelle Wolf

12. “I spotted a Marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound.” Roger Swift

13. “Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer.” Arthur Smith

14. “I’ll tell you what’s unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses.” Zoe Lyons

15 “Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word.” Phil Nicol

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  #10  
Old 23.08.2016, 10:05
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 201x Edinburgh Fringe

They're good, but I preferred the previous years offerings. I think the heart joke will win, that was a real LOL joke.
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Old 16.08.2017, 13:29
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 201x Edinburgh Fringe

The top 10 funniest jokes of the 2017 Fringe
  1. Robert Garnham: Insomnia is awful. But on the plus side – only three more sleeps till Christmas.
  2. Dan Antopolski: Centaurs shop at Topman. And Bottomhorse.
  3. Paul Savage: Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression. What a sad state of affairs.
  4. Caroline Mabey: I’m very conflicted by eye tests. I want to get the answers right but I really want to win the glasses.
  5. Athena Kugblenu: Relationships are like mobile phones. You’ll look at your iPhone 5 and think, it used to be a lot quicker to turn this thing on.
  6. Evelyn Mok: My vagina is kind of like Wales. People only visit ironically.
  7. Phil Wang: In the bedroom, my girlfriend really likes it when I wear a suit, because she’s got this kinky fantasy where I have a proper job.
  8. Gráinne Maguire: The Edinburgh fringe is such a bubble. I asked a comedian what they thought about the North Korea nuclear missile crisis and they asked what venue it was on in.
  9. John-Luke Roberts: How did the Village People meet? They obviously led such different lives.
  10. Olaf Falafel: If you’re being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.
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Old 16.08.2017, 13:44
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 201x Edinburgh Fringe

Quote:
Gráinne Maguire: The Edinburgh fringe is such a bubble. I asked a comedian what they thought about the North Korea nuclear missile crisis and they asked what venue it was on in.
Wins it for me
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Old 22.08.2017, 09:24
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Want a Laugh? You Won't Find One Here Sadly

Supposed to be the best jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. If they're the best, heaven help the rest of the jokes being bandied about. Not a one of these even made me smile, let alone laugh.

The top 15 funniest jokes from the Fringe

1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change" - Ken Cheng

2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle

3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle

4. "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her" - Lew Fitz

5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field

6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant" - Mark Simmons

7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." - Jimeoin

8. "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house" - Ed Byrne

9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine" - Olaf Falafel

10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' - Alasdair Beckett-King

11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes

12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff

13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it" - Phil Wang

14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark" - Adam Hess

15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act" - Tim Vine

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-40999000
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Old 22.08.2017, 09:35
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Re: Want a Laugh? You Won't Find One Here Sadly



Tom
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Old 22.08.2017, 10:14
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Re: Want a Laugh? You Won't Find One Here Sadly

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Supposed to be the best jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. If they're the best, heaven help the rest of the jokes being bandied about. Not a one of these even made me smile, let alone laugh.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-40999000
I suspect you need a holiday. Or maybe your SOH has gone off on one without you

OK, they're not all classics, but most of them at least raised a smile. No's 1 and 15 certainly made me laugh, and No2 is pretty good too.

Edit: missed No3, which is probably the best of the bunch, particularly when you picture Alexei Sayle delivering it.
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Old 22.08.2017, 10:26
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 201x Edinburgh Fringe

2 6 8 and 11 are very funny. I liked them all to be honest.
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Old 22.08.2017, 10:34
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 201x Edinburgh Fringe

This is my favourite.. delivered with Boyle's deadpan Glaswegian accent

Quote:
"Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle
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Old 22.08.2017, 10:36
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 201x Edinburgh Fringe

They are all good but number 12 is very, very witty. Number 14 is also very original.
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Old 22.08.2017, 14:08
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Re: Top 10 jokes from the 201x Edinburgh Fringe

brilliant, I needed that today
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Old 22.08.2017, 14:37
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Re: Want a Laugh? You Won't Find One Here Sadly

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I suspect you need a holiday. Or maybe your SOH has gone off on one without you

OK, they're not all classics, but most of them at least raised a smile. No's 1 and 15 certainly made me laugh, and No2 is pretty good too.

Edit: missed No3, which is probably the best of the bunch, particularly when you picture Alexei Sayle delivering it.
Holiday's a few weeks away yet Ace1. But I must admit I find very little humour from any modern day so-called comedians. I don't even bother watching anything labelled comedy nowadays. Or much in the way of TV at all really. I have a few favourites I watch, but most I simply let pass me by since they don't interest me.
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