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Old 10.10.2018, 11:47
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Are my tenses correct in the text (english)? hlp please

Hi there,

I wrote the following text as homework, but I am not sure if I have used the right tenses, especially the past tenses. I would appreciate it if you could help me with the tenses, thank you very much!
So here is the text:





Three hurdles

It was in the summer of 2010 when i have been in my homeland, a small town in the northern part of germany, watching a soccer match of my ex boyfriend. When suddenly this guy waved to me, he was an active soccer player standing on the field but oddly enough he had nothing better to do than waving to me. I had never seen him before but he kept staring and smiling at me as if we have been old friends. I couldn´t keep up my pokerface to this humorous situation the whole time, so i smiled back for a millisecond and turned myself away. In the late evening i received a message from this guy, saying he had my phone number from my ex boyfriend who was his teammate, and that he would like to take me out for a drink. I agreed, fortunately, and after having a beautiful evening, we kissed. This was the first day i met him, my current fiancee, Ben.

I have already lived in Berlin and after a relatively short period of time we moved together. This was the first major hurdle in the relationship, living together in a small apartment with 37 square meters. But we managed it, even though Ben was sometimes a lazy houseman, at least he always has been a good cook. During this time he worked for different companies in Berlin, once in the area of online quality assurance, once in the area of economics and taxes. His routine consisted of regular sports like fitness and soccer, work, meeting friends and spending time with me. He also started to study economics and IT, while i worked as a tailor. We were happy at this time, but things changed when his father got cancer in the beginning of 2014. He died just a few month after the diagnosis, and Ben struggled quite a lot due to his first big loss in life. Of course that had a big impact on the relationship, the second hurdle, but i did my best to take care of him. And we managed that too. But not yet reached all the way back in life, Ben decided to go on a self-experience journey, so he went to Australia for a work and travel for 6 month. After living and being together for so many years, this long distance relationship was the third hurdle for us, and we also managed that.

Back in Berlin Ben applied for a job as an air traffic controller in Zurich, and after he passed the acceptance test we moved to Zurich, where now i work at a theatre. He finished his education and has been licenced since last year and is now working for the flight information centre. In the beginning of this year we went on vacation to Disneyland next to Paris, where Ben proposed to me. After all this time, all the difficulties and the beautiful moments, i said yes. Some hurdles are worthwile.
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Old 10.10.2018, 13:08
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Re: Are my tenses correct in the text (english)? hlp please

It was in the summer of 2010 when i was in my homeland, a small town in the northern part of germany, watching a soccer match of my ex boyfriend. When suddenly this guy waved to me, he was an active soccer player standing on the field but oddly enough he had nothing better to do than waving to me. I had never seen him before but he kept staring and smiling at me as if we were old friends. I couldn´t keep up my pokerface to this humorous situation the whole time, so i smiled back for a millisecond and turned myself away. In the late evening i received a message from this guy, saying he had my phone number from my ex boyfriend who was his teammate, and that he would like to take me out for a drink. I agreed, fortunately, and after having a beautiful evening, we kissed. This was the first day i met him, my current fiancee, Ben.

I had already lived in Berlin and after a relatively short period of time we moved together. This was the first major hurdle in the relationship, living together in a small apartment with 37 square meters. But we managed it, even though Ben was sometimes a lazy houseman, at least he always has been a good cook. During this time he worked for different companies in Berlin, once in the area of online quality assurance, once in the area of economics and taxes. His routine consisted of regular sports like fitness and soccer, work, meeting friends and spending time with me. He also started to study economics and IT, while i worked as a tailor. We were happy at this time, but things changed when his father got cancer in the beginning of 2014. He died just a few month after the diagnosis, and Ben struggled quite a lot due to his first big loss in life. Of course that had a big impact on the relationship, the second hurdle, but i did my best to take care of him. And we managed that too. But not yet reached all the way back in life, Ben decided to go on a self-experience journey, so he went to Australia for a work and travel for 6 month. After living and being together for so many years, this long distance relationship was the third hurdle for us, and we also managed that.

Back in Berlin Ben applied for a job as an air traffic controller in Zurich, and after he passed the acceptance test we moved to Zurich, where now i work at a theatre. He finished his education and has been licenced since last year and is now working for the flight information centre. In the beginning of this year we went on vacation to Disneyland next to Paris, where Ben proposed to me. After all this time, all the difficulties and the beautiful moments, i said yes. Some hurdles are worthwile.


Tense corrections in bold. Of course I might have missed some. I've only corrected your tenses - it seems you have a reasonable grip on them though.
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Old 10.10.2018, 13:18
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Re: Are my tenses correct in the text (english)? hlp please

Nitpicking comes next

1. “to wave at” instead of “to wave to”
2. “I was” instead of “ i was” as a pronoun (even in the middle of each sentence)
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Old 11.10.2018, 08:17
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Re: Are my tenses correct in the text (english)? hlp please

Quote:
Originally Posted by jacek View Post
Nitpicking comes next

1. “to wave at” instead of “to wave to”
2. “I was” instead of “ i was” as a pronoun (even in the middle of each sentence)
And the rest...
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Old 12.10.2018, 00:40
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Re: Are my tenses correct in the text (english)? hlp please

A few more corrections (quoting NotAllThere, so some of the corrections below are not mine ).

Quote:
Originally Posted by NotAllThere View Post
It was in the summer of 2010 when I was in my homeland, a small town in the northern part of Germany, watching my ex-boyfriend in a soccer match, when suddenly this guy waved to me. He was an active soccer player standing on the field but oddly enough he had nothing better to do than wave to me. I had never seen him before but he kept staring and smiling at me as if we were old friends. I couldn't maintain my poker face in this humorous situation the whole time, so I smiled back for a millisecond and turned myself away. In the late evening I received a message from this guy, saying he had my phone number from my ex-boyfriend, who was his teammate, and that he would like to take me out for a drink. I agreed, fortunately, and after having a beautiful evening, we kissed. This was the first day I met him, my current fiancee Ben.

I had already lived in Berlin and after a relatively short period of time we moved in together. This was the first major hurdle in the relationship, living together in a small apartment of 37 square metres, but we managed it, even though Ben was sometimes a lazy housekeeper, at least he always has been a good cook. During this time he worked for different companies in Berlin, once in the area of online quality assurance, once in the area of economics and taxes. His routine consisted of regular sports like fitness and soccer, work, meeting friends, and spending time with me. He also started to study economics and IT, while I worked as a tailor. We were happy at this time, but things changed when his father got cancer in the beginning of 2014. He died just a few months after the diagnosis, and Ben struggled quite a lot due to his first big loss in life. Of course that had a big impact on the relationship, the second hurdle, but i did my best to take care of him and we managed that too. But not yet reached all the way back in life Not feeling ready to get back into life, Ben decided to go on a self-discovery journey, so he went to Australia to work and travel for 6 months. After living and being together for so many years, this long distance relationship was the third hurdle for us, and we also managed that.

Back in Berlin Ben applied for a job as an air traffic controller in Zurich, and after he passed the acceptance test entrance exam we moved to Zurich, where I now work at a theatre. He finished his education and has been licensed since last year and is now working for the flight information centre. In the beginning of this year we went on vacation to Disneyland next to Paris, where Ben proposed to me. After all this time, all the difficulties and the beautiful moments, I said yes. Some hurdles are worthwhile.

Hope this helps you continue to improve your English - it's already good!
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Old 12.10.2018, 00:45
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Re: Are my tenses correct in the text (english)? hlp please

Quote:
Originally Posted by jacek View Post
Nitpicking comes next

1. “to wave at” instead of “to wave to”
2. “I was” instead of “ i was” as a pronoun (even in the middle of each sentence)
In this story I'd stick with "wave to", as the player was definitely waving to the narrator (focused), not at them (a general wave to anybody who happens to notice).
You might wave at a passing train (and any randoms who might see you), but you'd wave to the happy kids you see waving through the window.
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Old 15.10.2018, 16:26
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Re: Are my tenses correct in the text (english)? hlp please

Hey @at all, sorry for the late answer, the last days have been quite busy. Thank you very much for your improvements!
I am still learning the english language, thats why i am very happy when people tell me which of my sentences/phrases and tenses are incorrect. I hope you have had a good weekend.
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Old 15.10.2018, 16:37
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Re: Are my tenses correct in the text (english)? hlp please

Football instead of Soccer
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Old 15.10.2018, 16:43
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Re: Are my tenses correct in the text (english)? hlp please

Quote:
Originally Posted by araqyl View Post
In this story I'd stick with "wave to", as the player was definitely waving to the narrator (focused), not at them (a general wave to anybody who happens to notice).
You might wave at a passing train (and any randoms who might see you), but you'd wave to the happy kids you see waving through the window.
You are right.

She waved at him and he waved back to her.
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