I live on the 6th floor and I discovered yesterday a big present left by a seagull on my balcony. It must have been there for more than a day as it is hard and crusty. There is no way I am going to scrape it off. If someone on the forum who has way too much free time voluntaries to come over and scrape it for me then I would offer coffee and gipfeli in return. Maybe Nil?

So it's humongous. I assume it was a big fat crow with loose motion rather than a seagull. Yesterday I did few tests and sprayed some powerful cleaning chemicals on it and it became completely fluid. My guess is that one litre of water would wash it off completely. So what is the problem I hear you ask? Well I am new to the building and due to law of gravity the semi liquid present along with the dirty water would fall down on someone or something and I don't want to get into trouble.

My current plan is to soften it up again at midnight and then pour water on it in the cover of darkness. I wish it was raining to make things easier.

Is there another method that the locals would use?

They would use a knife to scrape it off dry, like any normal person.

You should be grateful that pigs don't fly.

I could never do that as I am sensitive to such things. Bits could jump and hit my hand.

They don't?
Do you fancy free coffee and gipfeli?

Bits of what? Dried bird droppings?

You could always wear gloves.

I fear that you may just be too sensitive for this world ...

Wait until it rains and then wash it off the balcony. No one on the balconies below will get wet then.

Dont you have a gf or a wife?

Yeah.

What if a piece hits my face? Next you will tell me to buy a helmet with visor. It's getting way more expensive than coffee and gipfeli.

I think I might have to do that. Using cover of rain and darkness I should be safe. I hope I don't have to wait forever as the shit is such an eyesore. It's mocking me.

Do you think any woman would stick with a man like me past the first date?

I can tell you a cheaper alternative, wear a transparent shopping bag over your head. There is a risk of suffocation but atleast you wont get shi!t in your face.

The post mortem report would say you were fetish of some sort.

Im sure they've had worse.

If you are going to make claims like that, you're going to have to provide photographic evidence.

A Swiss would scrape it up and be done with it. Or a thrifty Swiss would scrape it up and mix it with a little wood ash to make saltpeter- good for high blood pressure and for making black powder... you know how those Swiss love their guns!

You are a man of faith so one day you will be rewarded with your own gift from heavens above



I could take a photo but it's too much effort and I don't feel like looking at it.

Worse than me? No way!

Tiger Woods?

suck it up! least its only a dropping not a dead bird then i could see your problem haha
or
you could attatch a sponge to your shoes as get it of that way least then bits won't hit your face

I could not see any rain clouds building up so last night I did the dirty. A gift from above for lower flats. Naughty birds shit all over the place these days.


Dead bird would have been easier to deal with. I would have had to just poke at it and it would have become someone else's problem.

Given his sensitivity to a bit of ammonia on his hands, I think that's the last thing on his mind.

Well the posh people would call a cleaning crew and pay good money for it..my lord..you are not posh are you?

If so, Pm me, for a fixed fee of 200Chf i will swing by and remove it for you.
It is a bargain since i have the gear.. ( my marigolds have no flowers on them )

Marigold to the rescue !



For sale..



Now seroiusly.. its easier to remove dry then wet, any scraping device will do, even an ice scraper of your car.
If you want to get rid of it fast, use a high pressure cleaner.

At your service..

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