I think all this talk of 'real men' 'cowards' and 'chivalry' is a broad brush approach to the 'laws of chivalry', I think if anyone was to do historical research they'd find out that any 'knight' of the middle ages would have classed women as second class citizens and would probably have approved of a bit of 'wench beating'.
And even if the hero and aggressor were to obey the laws of chivalry, is he really going to throw his gauntlet down and challenge him to a duel? Maybe we should all carry swords and ride horses.

On second thoughts maybe we should refrain from labeling others with archaic terms such as 'coward' or 'hero' and understand that life in general is much more complicated than these basic platitudes signify.

I keep clicking on the link in your signature but just keep getting some lame photo. Please repair the link to what is obviously a large and well funded organisation. Thank you.

Also, I doubt the woman is dead but again, no one is debating whether the police should have been called, even the op admits he should have called them but didn't think to, which happens to us all from time to time.

Strange, I remind different people of different characters. I guess I have a versatile personality or probably good at multi tasking. But I am neither canadian nor a dude.

No, it is about this:

This was a conscious decision.

What is the law and what to do in Switzerland when you are a witness of violence. (In French)

With regards to wife beating and honour, a cultural perspective:

The victim has to admit that she's been abused. It happens often that the victim denies what's happening in the hope of saving her couple/relationship or the kids. That's what makes the situation special. Sometimes the abuser using manipulative strategies will convince the victim that everything is fine again. Sometimes it's drunk/alcoholic couples who have a fight in the apartment. There are so many cases that it's difficult to have a simple frame for reaction.
In order for the victim to leave the abusing husband she needs a shelter, financial resources etc... One can send/give the link to the Frauenhaus. (site available in different foreign languages).

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Generally speaking foreigners here are more streetwise than the mullet sporting local Swiss. So if I had to get into a fight I would prefer a Swiss to fight against rather than some one who is quiet experienced at kicking ass.

Regarding the culture thing I know lot of families that like to keep domestic stuff in the family as it is allegedly a matter of honour for them. This I processed after the event took place and is not what froze me. What froze me was simply the fact that the guy looked too hard ass for me to be able to handle. My experiences in life have sharpened my skills to gauge who is dangerous and who is not. My perception might not be always accurate but it has kept me safe so far and I have lived in some violent areas.

Thinking about it now the guy obviously lives or visits my area regularly and he might even have seen me come out of my flat when he was parked in his car arguing. Last thing I need is him or his family making my life hell.

Either you're just trolling, truly naive, or - ironically enough given the topic of this thread - looking for a fight.

Nil how come you can ready my posts? I thought you had put me on your permanent ban list? Did I not say that you will never stop reading my posts? The chance for you to have a pop at me was too tempting I guess What a drama queen. God I am good!

A conscious decision not to physically intervene not a conscious decision not to call the police. I wouldn't have physically intervened either - that's how people get killed.

Of course I know it happens in different cultures, but why is it tolerated?

Which he hasn't done, nor is going to, due to:


If you would have start fighting him, you would have to prove that you have acted in self-defence, else you will be into some serious trouble.


I am seriously surprised and confused about some of the posts here - and disappointed.

OK, so you're trolling or naive.

A: Well duh. Because different cultures have different values. Seriously.

You don't tolerate it because you think it is wrong based on your values. Different cultures might be asking you why you don't beat your wife - assuming you have one - to keep her in line, with an equal amount of ignorance.

I'm just seriously confused about the contradictory posts you are making.

Can the women beat the man to honor him?

OK - narrowed down to Trolling.

So it is ok to beat your wife to keep her in line depending on what culture you come from? Guess attitudes like that will always keep women down, as men hide behind cultural differences.

Woohoo! Give the guy a medal. Did you work that our yourself or read it in a book?

Nil-II maybe? Every decision is conscious to some extent as unconscious people don't make any decisions My point was that if I saw some women walking and a stranger suddenly jumps her then it might be that I react instantly to it thus bypassing all my safety mechanisms. In reality I might act even more "cowardly" in such a situation than I did in the domestic one. It was a guess anyway as I have not been in such a situation.


I don't read French not do I care about any law. My common sense and life experience trumps any law out there. No the woman is not dead as I would know if someone gets murdered in my area. As dramatic and saddening as the situation was for me to witness it did not seem like a life and death matter.

Anyone in same situation as me should call the police straight away.

Btw do police keep the information confidential or can the person find out who called? Do I have to then testify? What happens if the woman denies any beating? What if the guy then makes my life difficult as he is from the area? It's not all black and white like Nil's perfect world.

I wouldn't want you to intervene directly either, it would have been very stupid not knowing what the guy could be capable. But Police should have been called. Even if it is hours after seeing the scene. Why?

Because maybe the guy already have a criminal record and the police knows him. Maybe they write down the informations and if something comes up later on, they will already have something against him.

Probably more useful than talking about it in here and not doing anything about it, at all!



I am disappointed too. Because of what I understood, yes I agree with others, that he shouldn't get involve himself directly. BUT what I don't understand is when someone says to not feel bad about it to not have called the police. I believe it is a civil obligation to intervene in such a situation. I am trying to find if it is a law about it here in Switzerland.

Calling the police doesn't put yourself in danger, especially when the scene happened in public where many people could witness it. But now, if everyone think to not do something hoping someone else will do it, nothing will be done.

No, I beat my husband regularly just to show him who's the boss.