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Old 08.02.2011, 13:39
economisto
 
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Report him to relevant authority who have experience of dealing with such domestic abuse issues. Yes divorce him! Why would you want to stay with someone who beats you up regularly?

He obviously does not love her if he beats her up. How is he going to stop if he keeps hitting her regularly? Again these are choices she is making which don't exist for a woman who gets attacked by a stranger.
Seriously? But like....seriously?
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  #122  
Old 08.02.2011, 13:41
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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LiB, I applaud your intentions. But I must ask, if you're still intending to go on your trip to London for the Chipotle meal, don't interfere personally in a street domestic. I'd put your chances of surviving at all, at a coin flip.
...well, that's why I'd bring you along..you know the lingo and what to do.
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  #123  
Old 08.02.2011, 13:44
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

Unfortunately abused women in most cases will stay with the abuser because either she's scared to death to leave or she's been put dow by the abuser so many times that she believes she has no other choice. For them leaving is not a simple choice like it would be for you or me.
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  #124  
Old 08.02.2011, 13:46
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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...well, that's why I'd bring you along..you know the lingo and what to do.
Gotta hide! But seriously, my first episode with this was when I was with my cousin - I was 16 and on the Edgware road at around midnight and saw an Arab lad shouting and walking towards his "SO" very aggressively while she walked backwards. My heart started beating fast and I wanted to intervene and my cousin stopped me. He said if she wanted help she could just shout "help". This may or may not be strictly true of course, but I really believe the risk to me was infinitely higher than to her. It's really hard to assess these risks in Switzerland because I don't have my finger on the pulse like I do in London.
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  #125  
Old 08.02.2011, 13:47
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Unfortunately abused women in most cases will stay with the abuser because either she's scared to death to leave or she's been put dow by the abuser so many times that she believes she has no other choice. For them leaving is not a simple choice like it would be for you or me.
... And you being potential witness who intervened in incident, she might actually deny your testimony because she will be scared of being even more abused by her husband with whom she lives
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  #126  
Old 08.02.2011, 13:49
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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It's really hard to assess these risks in Switzerland because I don't have my finger on the pulse like I do in London.
...Switzerland has a pulse?
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  #127  
Old 08.02.2011, 13:49
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Seriously? But like....seriously?


Look both are victims I am not debating that. I am saying a lady who gets physically abused should do everything in her power to leave the man.

I have first hand experience of the subject and know someone close to me who was getting beaten up and abused. It's very tough but the lady made the choice and left him along with the kids. In other parts of the world it's more difficult but here it can be done as long as their is a will.

I never said it is easy and I agree with what Janite just wrote but if you are getting abused then you have to try to get out of the situation instead of hoping that the man would change.
  #128  
Old 08.02.2011, 13:51
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Report him to relevant authority who have experience of dealing with such domestic abuse issues. Yes divorce him! Why would you want to stay with someone who beats you up regularly?

He obviously does not love her if he beats her up. How is he going to stop if you know he keeps hitting you regularly? Again these are choices she is making which don't exist for a woman who gets attacked by a stranger.
Apples and oranges. You're comparing a one-off random incident to an ongoing domestic situation.

If a woman is repeatedly attacked by the same stranger - to make an apples-to-apples comparison - then she can take steps. Report it to the police, get a restraining order, whatever. It's actually even easier because she doesn't have to divorce anyone or move out of her house or worry about whether to take the kids with her or make sneaky phone calls to find a Frauenhaus.

But she can't do any of that while being physically attacked. Nor can domestic violence woman. Domestic violence woman can actually do less to end an attack, as I said earlier, because she has fewer resources and more complications to consider.

Having said that, I'm still with economisto - there is no easy answer on whether or not to intervene. If you knew for sure it meant certain harm to your loved ones, would you do it? Surely not, you'd feel a higher responsibility to protect them than a stranger. But if it meant probable harm to your loved ones? Or possible harm? Where do you draw the line? It has to be a snap decision too and most of us are not great at those. Or rather, we are great at them but it's the self-preservation instinct talking, not all of our ideals and morals and considered risk assessments.
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  #129  
Old 08.02.2011, 13:54
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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I don't.

Bullshit heroics aside...
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That is untrue. Repercussions take place in the real world to real people who thought they were merely doing their civic duty.

Getting involved really isn't worth it, unless you are sure you - and your family - can handle the consequences.
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... after getting involved in someone else's business.
Should someone be having a pop at you on the Forum, DB, I'll sit back and consider what's for dinner. Witnessing it on the street, however, I'd be immediately present - not swinging, but present - and make my presence known. I don't even love you I'd hope you'd do the same.

It's a bit unfair to say "Bullshit heroics"; being present in a situation may well end up with it getting turned on oneself, but that's the price of loyalty and friendship. It may also result in calming. I don't expect my fellow Man to do the same, but as Corbets mentions it'd be welcome and preferable to the alternative.
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  #130  
Old 08.02.2011, 14:28
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

Do what you've gotta do folks! My personal guidline is, that I will react if I know that if I don't, I will never forgive myself.
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  #131  
Old 08.02.2011, 14:34
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

I would say, in cases of Domestic abuse where things are not really violent, its better not to interfere as the victim might not want to be rescued.

Once I pushed my girlfriend away and gave her a bit of verbal in a restaurant, all she said was if you want to beat me, dont do it in public as I dont want other people to think Im so stupid to be with a guy like you.

So if anyone HAD interfered, the chances were next to zero that she would have appreciated being rescued.

From my point of view she was asking for it.
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  #132  
Old 08.02.2011, 14:41
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

which is the right reaction to have is very hard to juge on the moment, emotions, fear, etc...but one reaction is certainely not the right one, wait for the bus and leave. You could at least shout at them without getting physically violent, the only fact that someone reacts would have an effect.
The sooner people will react to this kind of violence, the less it will happen.
"Looking away" has always led to the worst....
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  #133  
Old 08.02.2011, 14:43
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

Why don't you just yell, " ey, get a room you 2?"

by giving a non aggressive statement, you can more or less measure the temper of the other party. If ther eis people close, it would draw uneccessary attention to them, which could lead the action to stop.

Act accordingly after that. Call the fuzz
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Old 08.02.2011, 14:48
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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(...)
Once I pushed my girlfriend away and gave her a bit of verbal in a restaurant, all she said was if you want to beat me, dont do it in public as I dont want other people to think Im so stupid to be with a guy like you.
(...)
Please never "thank" any of my posts here in public. I don't want other people to think I'm writing so stupid things to receive thanks from some guy like you.
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  #135  
Old 08.02.2011, 14:51
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

+1speachless

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Please never "thank" any of my posts here in public. I don't want other people to think I'm writing so stupid things to receive thanks from some guy like you.
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Old 08.02.2011, 14:53
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Please never "thank" any of my posts here in public. I don't want other people to think I'm writing so stupid things to receive thanks from some guy like you.
You mean, you want green rep in the background?

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  #137  
Old 08.02.2011, 14:56
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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OK, if it makes you happy:

If I'd been there, I would have called the police, given them my name and address and offered to stand as a witness in a public court of law. I wouldn't have even thought of the consequences of my actions in my eagerness to fulfil my civic duty.

After the trial was over, I would go home, to be greeted by the smiling wife and child of the assailant, who would lay laurel wreaths upon my head, before cooking me a lavish dinner with truffles and caviar.

A week or two later, the husband would return from prison, suitably chastened, and rush over to shake my hand, making a solemn vow never to be such a scoundrel again, and promising to follow my shining example of masculinity.

And I think the OP is a snivelling, crawling coward, who deserves to be tarred and feathered for failing to stand up and be a man.

Will that do?
I'm detecting a hint of sarcasm here. Can anyone confirm?
  #138  
Old 08.02.2011, 14:59
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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I'm detecting a hint of sarcasm here. Can anyone confirm?
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  #139  
Old 08.02.2011, 15:15
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

I can assure you that I would have reacted differently under circumstances. Picture either myself having gastric virus and twisting in pain or DB walking with broken toe and all of the sudden you face a situation of two-meter tall rascal hudlum in a dark street yelling at his miniskirt dressed little cute mistress with tears running down her chicks that smear her sexy makeup. I feel like helping this little helpless beauty and image of reward received already blinds my mind... But I'm hesitating because all of a sudden I saw a glittering long object resembling knife sticking out of his belt. As much as my heroism tells me go for it tiger but my mind says no... So I cover my face, pick up a cellphone and quietly dial 911...

Another scenario, on a spring day I saw chubby Italian guy (no discrimination) screaming at his voluptuous wife words along lines of "mamamia you puta" and slapping his desperate wife in face. I'm walking in shorts wearing sneakers, energetic being warmed up from vigorous stroll. I see this incident and instinctively react to defend the poor woman. Then after finding out she is fine I report the whole thing to the police or not and shake wrongdoers hand. The wife bids me farewell and her handcuffed husband stares in understanding to admit his guilt. (I woke up from my dream and walked away as a hero...) and where were we

I'm not kind of a action movie hero who after being shot umpteenth number of times manages to raise up and fight.

Learn to judge the situation not the others!
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Last edited by jacek; 08.02.2011 at 16:27.
  #140  
Old 08.02.2011, 15:27
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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I woke away as a hero... from my dream
fixed that for you buddy.

Last edited by MathNut; 08.02.2011 at 15:46. Reason: fixed strikethrough tags
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