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Old 08.02.2011, 09:03
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Woman getting manhandled by her husband? [with update]

Last night I was walking down my residential building stairs pleased with how I successfully solved my bird shit problem. As I stepped on to the mean streets of Zurich I see some foreign looking chap in a car with a 5-7 year old kid in the passenger seat. The guy was screaming his head out on the mobile phone. All the car windows were closed but I could still hear him loud and clear. The guy was banging the steering wheel in anger.

I thought to myself poor kid what shit he has to witness. Then I walked 200 metres to the bus stop and was waiting patiently for the bus. Next I see the same car bombing towards me at extremely high speed and then the idiot turned into a blind corner of the parking space. If someone had been standing there they would have been toast.

Next I assume the lady he was talking to on the phone came out of the flat and he started shouting at her very loudly and aggressively. He started slapping her and pulled her by the hair while the kid was shouting mummy mummy. The guy was really high on anger and possessed with rage.

Now I was about to go and tell him to stop it but the guy looked quiet mean and from his accent and looks I could tell where he was from. So knife on him was a good possibility and I really did not want to be a martyr as I had a drink session to attend. I also hear how people who try to help get beaten up by both the aggressor and the woman victim. Eventually my bus came and I left.

Strangely if it had been a random female victim of a crime I would have jumped in but for domestic fight I chickened out. I also made the snap judgement that getting involved in a fight would not be good for my newly acquired permit or my criminal record. I could have called the police but at the time my mind was not functioning properly. So yeah I am not a real man.
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:06
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

Where are the REAL MEN? ...just sayin'.
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:08
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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... So yeah I am not a real man.
Nah. You've just integrated real well into Switzerland.

TBH, I don't know what I'd do, so I'm not about to criticise you...

Last edited by Carlos R; 08.02.2011 at 09:24.
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:15
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

On a more serious note...certainly it is an unpleasant situation and I'm sure that most people would have reacted the same way. Your calculations were well justified...is it worth getting into a possible altrication (or even worse) over some person you don't know. Afterall, I'm certain that you have your fair share of responsibilities and a possible knife in your abdomen wouldn't be all too comfortable. You can't blame yourself for not intervening..but you definitely should have called the police (IMO).
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:27
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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I'm certain that you have your fair share of responsibilities and a possible knife in your abdomen wouldn't be all too comfortable.
Knife to the heart would be worse I hear you don't recover from those.

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You can't blame yourself for not intervening..but you definitely should have called the police (IMO).
You are completely right and the police angle only dawned on me once I got in the bus. It all happened so quickly. I do think that the woman should maybe call the police too? I mean it is not the first time he would have hit her nor the last time and he probably started hitting her even before they had a kid. Which ever way you look at it the woman seems to have made some very bad choices in her life. So sometimes you just can't fight other people's battles.

It made and still makes me sad though.
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:34
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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...You are completely right and the police angle only dawned on me once I got in the bus. It all happened so quickly. ...
yes.

for this reason (i had a similar thing happen a few years ago, but had some kids with me, so also feared for their safety) i have the kantonspolizei telephone number in my mobile.

The polices emergency telephone number of 117 is of course also an option, but as you know, in those situations the brain sometimes freezes.

Just as a sidenote:
Emergency telephone numbers in Switzerland, for the newbies.
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:41
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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I do think that the woman should maybe call the police too? I mean it is not the first time he would have hit her nor the last time and he probably started hitting her even before they had a kid.
Certainy, but you can't neglect the fact, that only since 2003 Switzerland has a law that protects women from domestic abuse...and I believe that many are still unaware of that law. In addition, there are no stalking laws and therfore it is possible that women who have to endure such a relationship will feel powerless and don't bother with calling the proper authorities to begin with.
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:46
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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I do think that the woman should maybe call the police too? I mean it is not the first time he would have hit her nor the last time and he probably started hitting her even before they had a kid.
Domestic violence is - unfortunately - usually not that simple.
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:48
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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He started slapping her and pulled her by the hair while the kid was shouting mummy mummy. The guy was really high on anger and possessed with rage.
Sorry, you won't get any pass from me for your ignorance.

You are a coward.


(i've been on the receveing and helping end of such situations in the past, so think i'm able to judge.)
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:50
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Sorry, you won't get any pass from me for your ignorance.

You are a coward.


(i've been on the receveing and helping end of such situations in the past, so think i'm able to judge.)
No, you're not able to judge...as you weren't there and couldn't size up the situation nor don't know all the facts pertaining to this event.
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:51
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Sorry, you won't get any pass from me for your ignorance.

You are a coward.


(i've been on the receveing and helping end of such situations in the past, so think i'm able to judge.)
You think he should have intervened?
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:54
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Certainy, but you can't neglect the fact, that only since 2003 Switzerland has a law that protects women from domestic abuse...
Complete non-sense.

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You think he should have intervened?
Calling the police?
(As any person who has a minimum of empathy would do.)
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:55
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

Domestic violence is tough topic and proper answer is case by case depending on situation. I understand the OPs concern for own safety.
In a public space like in a street, if harsh violence is involved one can call police, notify the car number plate, or try to team with other men/people to talk (safe distance) to the violent husband.
Everything and especially advices are "easier" after things happened.
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Old 08.02.2011, 09:57
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Sorry, you won't get any pass from me for your ignorance.

You are a coward.


(i've been on the receveing and helping end of such situations in the past, so think i'm able to judge.)
Sorry was not looking for a pass. My family comes first for me. Would you have provided for my family if I had been stabbed to death? Faced with a similar situation again I would do everything as before. The only thing I would do different would be calling the police and maybe shouting at him from a safe distance as I am a very fast runner.

A man who can hit his wife and that also in front of his kid when high on anger is hardly going to have any respect for a stranger like me. Also I don't fancy being a martyr and material for discussion on an internet forum after I bleed to death
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Old 08.02.2011, 10:06
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Calling the police?
(As any person who has a minimum of empathy would do.)
Maybe calling the police would have been best (although probably would not have accomplished much), but he already explained that he did not think of this at the time. It doesn't/wouldn't require courage to call the police, so why call him a coward?
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Old 08.02.2011, 10:07
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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(..)
A man who can hit his wife and that also in front of his kid when high on anger is hardly going to have any respect for a stranger like me. Also I don't fancy being a martyr and material for discussion on an internet forum after I bleed to death
I'd at least name you in the "angel of the forum" thread
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Old 08.02.2011, 10:07
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Last night I was walking down my residential building stairs pleased with how I successfully solved my bird shit problem. As I stepped on to the mean streets of Zurich I see some foreign looking chap in a car with a 5-7 year old kid in the passenger seat. The guy was screaming his head out on the mobile phone. All the car windows were closed but I could still hear him loud and clear. The guy was banging the steering wheel in anger.

I thought to myself poor kid what shit he has to witness. Then I walked 200 metres to the bus stop and was waiting patiently for the bus. Next I see the same car bombing towards me at extremely high speed and then the idiot turned into a blind corner of the parking space. If someone had been standing there they would have been toast.

Next I assume the lady he was talking to on the phone came out of the flat and he started shouting at her very loudly and aggressively. He started slapping her and pulled her by the hair while the kid was shouting mummy mummy. The guy was really high on anger and possessed with rage.

Now I was about to go and tell him to stop it but the guy looked quiet mean and from his accent and looks I could tell where he was from. So knife on him was a good possibility and I really did not want to be a martyr as I had a drink session to attend. I also hear how people who try to help get beaten up by both the aggressor and the woman victim. Eventually my bus came and I left.

Strangely if it had been a random female victim of a crime I would have jumped in but for domestic fight I chickened out. I also made the snap judgement that getting involved in a fight would not be good for my newly acquired permit or my criminal record. I could have called the police but at the time my mind was not functioning properly. So yeah I am not a real man.
What does a foreign looking chap look like?
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Old 08.02.2011, 10:12
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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What does a foreign looking chap look like?
Bit like me maybe? Having a foreign accent? Was it you in the car?
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Old 08.02.2011, 10:12
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

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Domestic violence is tough topic and proper answer is case by case depending on situation. I understand the OPs concern for own safety.
In a public space like in a street, if harsh violence is involved one can call police, notify the car number plate, or try to team with other men/people to talk (safe distance) to the violent husband.
Everything and especially advices are "easier" after things happened.
Why is it a tough topic? So if it's done in private and not harsh violence it's ok? What is harsh violence then?
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Old 08.02.2011, 10:14
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Re: Woman getting manhandled by her husband?

Last December, some mad guy slaughtered his ex-wife on the street with an axe. I have not seen it directly, but the police tent and road block when they researched as it was on my way to work. In short: While I consider myself a real man do I think it would not be manly but plain stupid to jump at an agressive, emotional and fairly likey dangerous stranger. But don't just stare - that is a bit too much integration for me - call the police.
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