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  #141  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:00
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

You would think living so close to the free spirited girls of Wadi you might have more success.
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  #142  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:02
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

Give my compatriots a break, in a culture where everything you do wrong/causes you trouble is your own fault, there is little incentive to go on another mad venture of the heart after you have been hurt. It's all about damage control, so many a Swiss lady (including myself) has made her mind up that the only guy she's prepared to show a little vulnerability and true affection to has to be nothing less than perfect. Otherwise it's just not worth the risk. This makes your chances considerably smaller. Salsa Lover always says that Swiss women seem to have too-high standards (although I reckon that it's perfectly normal for a six to want a 5 or more as a partner) but I really think it's down to the self-protection thing, many girls don't WANT you to whisk them off their feet, too much risk of promptly falling flat on one's face.
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  #143  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:03
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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Having listened to your music Paulie I'm kinda surprised you're struggling to date
Thanks very much!
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  #144  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:10
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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resulted in me literally shaking my head and going away with the opinion that Swiss girls must all be a bit crackers. Surely this can't be true?!
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so many a Swiss lady (including myself) has made her mind up that the only guy she's prepared to show a little vulnerability and true affection to has to be nothing less than perfect. Otherwise it's just not worth the risk.
and there you have it. what the swiss might call 'cautious' others might call 'boring'.

fwiw, i don't think that swiss women have particularly high standards and from what i can tell from the OP, the difficulty is not finding a swiss girl that would want to go out with him, but rather a swiss girl that he would want to go out with.
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  #145  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:12
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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so many a Swiss lady (including myself) has made her mind up that the only guy she's prepared to show a little vulnerability and true affection to has to be nothing less than perfect. Otherwise it's just not worth the risk.
....I'm sorry was that an un appropriate response?
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  #146  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:22
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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....I'm sorry was that an un appropriate response?
A little rude maybe but since I don't quite see the logic behind it, I can't judge whether it's appropriate or not.

My point is simply that a lot of women are not interested in a relationship because of disastrous experiences in the past, so they set their aims so high, nobody can attain them. A lot of men feel the same from what I can tell.

I have heard a few conversations where one friend advises another against going any further with a guy because "you know how it ended last time, do you really want to do that again?"... Not "sure, give it a go, might be fun!" but instantly "this is a risk, are you sure you want to take it?".

Boring equals safe in my mind. And I don't believe in playing with people's hearts, so if a guy asks me for lunch, I generally refuse, simply because I know I am not interested in anything serious, with lunch generally indicating serious intentions. Otherwise you'd ask for drinks after work or something similarly non-committal.
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  #147  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:28
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

I have a lot of female friends who are in the same situation. It's a very simple solution: If you stop going after douchebags, you'll stop getting used and treated like shit.

I had many like that back home too, but many who also knew better and learned after they made one mistake. They were generally better educated than the others and at least they had the intelligence to know that what they have been brought up to view as the perfect mate (by family, media, friends) is not at all the best choice-_I've found that these women are definitely lacking in CH.
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Last edited by Chemmie; 31.07.2011 at 17:29. Reason: typo
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  #148  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:32
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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Otherwise you'd ask for drinks after work or something similarly non-committal.
ovomaltine at dawn..
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  #149  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:34
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

My rationale is that a guy who has no problem going up to women and chatting them up is probably not going to have a problem continuing doing so when he is in a relationship. So the "charming" bit on the traditional wish list is really a bit of a flaw...
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  #150  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:39
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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A little rude maybe but since I don't quite see the logic behind it, I can't judge whether it's appropriate or not.

My point is simply that a lot of women are not interested in a relationship because of disastrous experiences in the past, so they set their aims so high, nobody can attain them. A lot of men feel the same from what I can tell.

I have heard a few conversations where one friend advises another against going any further with a guy because "you know how it ended last time, do you really want to do that again?"... Not "sure, give it a go, might be fun!" but instantly "this is a risk, are you sure you want to take it?".

Boring equals safe in my mind. And I don't believe in playing with people's hearts, so if a guy asks me for lunch, I generally refuse, simply because I know I am not interested in anything serious, with lunch generally indicating serious intentions. Otherwise you'd ask for drinks after work or something similarly non-committal.
I am glad you could "appreciate" the humor. I just don't see why a man has to jump thru hoops for any woman, I am a romantic myself, but don't understand why it's only the man that should being going out of his way, and not the other way around as well.

No one is perfect. And being difficult is not a turn on. Not all of us guys want a serious relationship, but if going out with a girl who isn't really interested in us, not allowing herself to get into a deep conversation for fear it may lead to an interest, who rather be some where else because "we" might get too attached...honestly how fun of an experience is that?

I'd rather stay at home then waste my time with some one like that.
It doesn't have to be serious, but if there is no chance of it going anywhere, why get to know other people then? Even as friends?
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  #151  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:44
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

What I'm saying is that the reason behind the difficulties some men are encountering is that they are chasing women who are too scared of being hurt to even consider a guy. There is no point in jumping through hoops because there will only be more hoops at the end of it.

Telling a guy that you "just want to be friends" is generally not met with shrieks of joy last time I checked. So I understand the frustration, absolutely do, but just like guys start acting difficult when they want to get out of a relationship, women often act difficult to not get in one in the first place...
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  #152  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:48
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

when did this : "men just want relationships, girls just wanna have fun" started??


weird....


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  #153  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:49
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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when did this : "men just want relationships, girls just wanna have fun" started??


weird....


(please no youtube song response)
Maybe trying to beat the men at their own game. If you don't let anyone close, you can't get hurt. As much.
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  #154  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:55
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

Are we sure we should be taking relationship advice from someone with a fringe?
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  #155  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:55
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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Hi,

welcome to the forum. Please introduce yourself in the "Introductions" section. that is the right place to do so.
hi ouchboy,thank you

done,come have look and let me know if it's appropriate enough,i'd appreciate
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  #156  
Old 31.07.2011, 17:58
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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hi ouchboy,thank you

done,come have look and let me know if it's appropriate enough,i'd appreciate
lol, it means create your own thread saying hi. I don't see it.
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  #157  
Old 31.07.2011, 18:01
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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lol, it means create your own thread saying hi. I don't see it.
what's wrong with you man? are you trying to auto-cock-block?

btw. are you around today? i saw another thread on here about bringing your own alcohol to zurich and getting smashed and in the interests of science, i thought i might give it a try...
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  #158  
Old 31.07.2011, 18:02
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

Paulie707 this thread has backfired. Everyone else is flirting and getting off on each other, even ahem, the married ones. It has nothing to do with looks or money most of the guys on here are probably ugly and broke. Take a tip- look back through the responses and see what makes people engage, who is the most successful and why? Is it because they remain involved without being threatening ( that takes work) or is it because they are witty, funny, quick to pickup on things, considerate?

Whatever it is they are in the game- they do the work. You don't you just start a thread and ask others to help you fix it. Guys do not fix things for other guys when it comes to hot women, they fix it for themselves everyone knows that.

Get in there, take the plunge and start chatting women up. Zuger for instance may well look like is avatar but that certainly isn't putting the women off responding. Women like men being interested in them, they love being charmed. If you are not interested in Swiss women ( the stereotype of all just like the ex) then try elsewhere. Unless you are just looking for an improved visa status.
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  #159  
Old 31.07.2011, 18:07
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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what's wrong with you man? are you trying to auto-cock-block?

btw. are you around today? i saw another thread on here about bringing your own alcohol to zurich and getting smashed and in the interests of science, i thought i might give it a try...
I'm out of the door in like 10 min..
didn't see that thread
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Old 31.07.2011, 18:13
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Re: Single for a year now - close to giving up!

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Paulie707 this thread has backfired. Everyone else is flirting and getting off on each other, even ahem, the married ones. It has nothing to do with looks or money most of the guys on here are probably ugly and broke. ...
@Hoppy - Not sure if you intended it to be funny but that comment alone almost made me fall off my chair with laughter! Even now I can't stop!
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