Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Permits/visas/government  
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 24.06.2014, 02:11
Newbie
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Zurich
Posts: 7
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 6 Times in 3 Posts
Sebast has no particular reputation at present
Who wants to marry me?

This is a serious post, so please, if you have any critics, be constructive, or better keep your opinion to yourself ;-)

I am a man, 27 years old. I lived in Switzerland for one year due to an educational exchange. I hold a university bachelor's degree. I simply loved the country and the life style of most Swiss people. It's just highly compatible with my own personality. CH felt like home quite quickly after I arrived by the first time.

I had an amazing relationship with a Swiss who is an excellent human being and a gorgeous person. However, he was not ready/sure to get 'married' or have a long distance relationship and now we keep in touch as good friends. Needless to say he didn't want to move to my country either. I was very in love, and our relationship was at a great stage, but I just had to leave the country and that caused us to break up some months after I left.

I am very interested in getting back to Switzerland, since I already know I can be very happy there. Even if I have applied to many open positions for which I am 100% qualified at Swiss companies (mostly international companies in Zurich), I have never been considered for interviews. They see me, I assume, as a foreigner from overseas (Hispanic American) with no authorization to work in Switzerland.

I am a person with not much experience on relationships and never did one night stands or hook ups. I am waiting for that special someone to get older with. Yes, I want to 'marry' somebody to be able to stay in Switzerland, but I don't see this as a strategic move solely. I want to stay with somebody I can love, share my time with, travel together, introduce to my family, grow up with, support and lean on. I want a life partner regardless of the place I will be living in. And I want to live in Switzerland as well. Why can't I have both?

In case it is not clear, I am a man looking for a man. I don't know what to expect from this post, it could be a good idea or a waste of time. The fact is that I am being honest. Please feel free to contact me if you want. I've been told I'm good looking if that's something you want to know.

I am an average, normal, well travelled and educated guy that normally wouldn't post something like this. I hope not to be taken for a crazy or desperate guy. They say that the worst effort is the one not attempted.

Thanks for reading.
The following 3 users would like to thank Sebast for this useful post:
  #2  
Old 24.06.2014, 02:29
cannut's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: canada
Posts: 6,874
Groaned at 180 Times in 140 Posts
Thanked 6,137 Times in 3,367 Posts
cannut has a reputation beyond reputecannut has a reputation beyond reputecannut has a reputation beyond reputecannut has a reputation beyond reputecannut has a reputation beyond reputecannut has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

I just about to propose ! but then I realised "I am already married" sorry
The following 9 users would like to thank cannut for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 24.06.2014, 02:35
Textoch's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Texas, USA (formerly Vaud, CH)
Posts: 1,201
Groaned at 25 Times in 23 Posts
Thanked 3,054 Times in 935 Posts
Textoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

Quote:
View Post
I just about to propose ! but then I realised "I am already married" sorry
Sorry, cannut! Even if your wife was okay with sharing you, OP wants to get into Switzerland, not Canada.
The following 3 users would like to thank Textoch for this useful post:
  #4  
Old 24.06.2014, 03:25
MusicChick's Avatar
modified, reprogrammed and doctored≤
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 16,649
Groaned at 359 Times in 246 Posts
Thanked 19,161 Times in 9,996 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

So romantic and not calculated...Just watch out, be careful about potential suitors..

Quote:
View Post
Yes, I want to 'marry' somebody to..grow up with..
..and most of all - marry when you have grown up, seriously much better plan.
The following 8 users would like to thank MusicChick for this useful post:
  #5  
Old 24.06.2014, 07:06
ximix's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK (formerly Zurich)
Posts: 2,105
Groaned at 22 Times in 21 Posts
Thanked 2,315 Times in 1,179 Posts
ximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

What age, height, weight etc range are you looking for. Best to weed out the time wasters ASAP rather than later don't you think?

Oh and what about women who've become men?
  #6  
Old 24.06.2014, 07:50
olygirl's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: d' Innerschwiiz
Posts: 6,799
Groaned at 308 Times in 211 Posts
Thanked 15,862 Times in 4,851 Posts
olygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

Join Parship and Swissfriends. You have a nice writing style and maybe, through your written charm, you'll find love and a Swiss passport.
This user would like to thank olygirl for this useful post:
  #7  
Old 24.06.2014, 07:55
EnglishRose's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Staefa
Posts: 124
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 46 Times in 29 Posts
EnglishRose has made some interesting contributions
Re: Who wants to marry me?

The OP also seems to be a guy, looking for a guy. I reckon most wives are off the radar!

Good luck OP!
  #8  
Old 24.06.2014, 07:56
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Who wants to marry me?

Cool. Prostitutes and fake marriages.

You stay classy, EF...
The following 4 users would like to thank for this useful post:
  #9  
Old 24.06.2014, 07:56
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: none
Posts: 44
Groaned at 6 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 34 Times in 21 Posts
TheNobleSunfish has earned some respectTheNobleSunfish has earned some respect
Re: Who wants to marry me?

My two cents from experience, since you say you're newish to relationships : you're thinking and/or writing about things the wrong way, and making yourself sound creepy (though the fact that you're worried about that is a good sign).

"Creepy" = taking things too far in your own head. You're making people feel uncomfortable because you're treating a potential romantic relationship, which is something that grows between two people and is unpredictable (and thus beautiful as you discover it), as something planned and only about you.

So, here's a way to approach this: you were in Switzerland, you liked it here, you obviously liked one Swiss man a lot. We live in the age of the internet, and you can look to connect with Swiss people. You have an opening ("you're Swiss, and I love Switzerland, I did XYZ there.." ). However, you need to change your attitude about the future - if somehow you ended up marrying a Swiss person, that'd be great, but by that point the real reward would be the relationship itself, not the immigration status.
The following 7 users would like to thank TheNobleSunfish for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 24.06.2014, 08:16
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 8,115
Groaned at 293 Times in 222 Posts
Thanked 18,439 Times in 6,447 Posts
k_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

Quote:
View Post
The OP also seems to be a guy, looking for a guy. I reckon most wives are off the radar!
not really smart to reduce the target population by 50%
  #11  
Old 24.06.2014, 08:21
dodgyken's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Democratic Republic Kenistan
Posts: 10,690
Groaned at 281 Times in 232 Posts
Thanked 19,403 Times in 7,402 Posts
dodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

Quote:
View Post
not really smart to reduce the target population by 50%
The OP is probably looking for someone with a GSOH, decent looking, intelligent, caring, loving, a considerate lover and with compatible interests.

As we all know, that pretty much covers every man
The following 2 users would like to thank dodgyken for this useful post:
  #12  
Old 24.06.2014, 08:27
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 8,115
Groaned at 293 Times in 222 Posts
Thanked 18,439 Times in 6,447 Posts
k_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond reputek_and_e has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

Quote:
View Post
The OP is probably looking for someone with a GSOH, decent looking, intelligent, caring, loving, a considerate lover and with compatible interests.

As we all know, that pretty much covers every man
I can only see that man in a mirror.
  #13  
Old 24.06.2014, 08:33
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: ZH
Posts: 5,328
Groaned at 58 Times in 48 Posts
Thanked 2,696 Times in 1,612 Posts
SOBEIT has a reputation beyond reputeSOBEIT has a reputation beyond reputeSOBEIT has a reputation beyond reputeSOBEIT has a reputation beyond reputeSOBEIT has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

Good luck and remember marriage is neither heaven or hell, it is simply purgatory.
This user would like to thank SOBEIT for this useful post:
  #14  
Old 24.06.2014, 08:34
dodgyken's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Democratic Republic Kenistan
Posts: 10,690
Groaned at 281 Times in 232 Posts
Thanked 19,403 Times in 7,402 Posts
dodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

Quote:
View Post
I can only see that man in a mirror.
So you managed to make up that full size mannequin of me then
  #15  
Old 24.06.2014, 08:41
MusicChick's Avatar
modified, reprogrammed and doctored≤
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 16,649
Groaned at 359 Times in 246 Posts
Thanked 19,161 Times in 9,996 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

Quote:
View Post
Oh and what about women who've become men?
Seems like a lot of us are on our way there...not that it would be voluntary.
  #16  
Old 24.06.2014, 08:57
Medea Fleecestealer's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Switzerland
Posts: 21,856
Groaned at 396 Times in 305 Posts
Thanked 16,809 Times in 9,480 Posts
Medea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

I don't know what you expect from your post either. Someone to actually come forward and say they'll marry you so you can get back into the country? Sorry, but that would be a sham marriage and when the authorities find out - which they would do quite quickly - you'll be thrown out of the country and not allowed to return for several years as might your "partner" if they're not a Swiss national.

Yes, employers do see you as someone who doesn't have a Swiss permit to live/work here. You're a non-EU and at the back of the jobs queue when it comes to hiring. You have a degree, well so do a lot of others. What unique skills/experience can you bring to the mix because that's what is going to get you hired here. The more specialised in your field the better your chances will be. This is what employers have to do to be able to hire you:

https://www.bfm.admin.ch/content/bfm...zulassung.html

It's time consuming and expensive so they'll only do it when they have a good chance of being successful. Given the recent vote to curb immigration things are only going to get harder.

If you can't get a job here, then look to those companies based in America who also have offices in Switzerland. Try and get a job with one in the US and then later get transferred here.

Also note that even if you move outside the US you'll still need to file US tax returns and may possibly owe US tax. The US tax system is based on citizenship, not residency like the rest of the world.
  #17  
Old 24.06.2014, 08:57
Newbie
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Zurich
Posts: 7
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 6 Times in 3 Posts
Sebast has no particular reputation at present
Quote:
View Post
My two cents from experience, since you say you're newish to relationships : you're thinking and/or writing about things the wrong way, and making yourself sound creepy (though the fact that you're worried about that is a good sign).

"Creepy" = taking things too far in your own head. You're making people feel uncomfortable because you're treating a potential romantic relationship, which is something that grows between two people and is unpredictable (and thus beautiful as you discover it), as something planned and only about you.

So, here's a way to approach this: you were in Switzerland, you liked it here, you obviously liked one Swiss man a lot. We live in the age of the internet, and you can look to connect with Swiss people. You have an opening ("you're Swiss, and I love Switzerland, I did XYZ there.." ). However, you need to change your attitude about the future - if somehow you ended up marrying a Swiss person, that'd be great, but by that point the real reward would be the relationship itself, not the immigration status.


Trust me, I totally agree with you! I believe in true love and commitment and have already experienced that myself and itís something beautiful and positive. After I created this post I actually made a lot of questions to myself. Getting to know well somebody and learning how compatible that person is with you for a daily life takes a lot of time and dedication. I donít want to pressure anyone/myself. Nor do I want to meet a lunatic :-P I am not even sure if using my time to try and make connections with people that is miles away is actually worthwhile. It might seem odd, but after I published that first message, I kind of released some feelings of frustration and started to feel resigned to the fact that I will probably never live in CH again. Doors are simply closed, and I wouldnít marry somebody just to stay in Switzerland, I want something real and a fake marriage - as somebody stated above- will never be appealing to me. That wasnít the point of this post. Anyway, thank you all for your answers/suggestions!

Quote:
View Post
The OP is probably looking for someone with a GSOH, decent looking, intelligent, caring, loving, a considerate lover and with compatible interests.


That's actually quite a good description. :-D

Last edited by 3Wishes; 24.06.2014 at 16:36. Reason: merging successive posts
The following 2 users would like to thank Sebast for this useful post:
  #18  
Old 24.06.2014, 09:07
MusicChick's Avatar
modified, reprogrammed and doctored≤
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 16,649
Groaned at 359 Times in 246 Posts
Thanked 19,161 Times in 9,996 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

If it was possible I would like to live in Patagonia. Seriously. But there are ways to scout out teaching programs, help improving lives of kids there, or elsewhere, for that matter..

OP, to exchange your heart in this calculated compromise, for a quite selfish increased ease with settling down somewhere else than home points out you might have to figure out first what heart and love are.

It's not using somebody to enable your plans to improve your personal life quality.
  #19  
Old 24.06.2014, 09:18
Newbie
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Zurich
Posts: 7
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 6 Times in 3 Posts
Sebast has no particular reputation at present
Re: Who wants to marry me?

Quote:
View Post
OP, to exchange your heart in this calculated compromise, for a quite selfish increased ease with settling down somewhere else than home points out you might have to figure out first what heart and love are.

It's not using somebody to enable your plans to improve your personal life quality.


I give up trying to explain that I already know that. Love is somehow an exchange in which both parts win and become a team. I am sure that some of the readers got my point instead of questioning it just for the sake of it.
  #20  
Old 24.06.2014, 09:27
jacek's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Aargau
Posts: 8,699
Groaned at 123 Times in 90 Posts
Thanked 6,316 Times in 3,533 Posts
jacek has a reputation beyond reputejacek has a reputation beyond reputejacek has a reputation beyond reputejacek has a reputation beyond reputejacek has a reputation beyond reputejacek has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Who wants to marry me?

This thread is worthless without the pics
Closed Thread

Tags
gay, immigration, love, marriage, relationship




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Who wants to Golf? b_occomore Sports / Fitness / Beauty / Wellness 3 18.08.2014 11:56
Who wants to live forever? Lammhaxe Daily life 43 22.12.2013 09:57
For those not in CH who want to marry a Swiss Bookworm Swiss politics/news 46 10.12.2011 11:03
Who wants to fondle some felle with me? [Yarn/Fiber Outing] seeingbee Social events 11 09.10.2010 21:48
Swiss wants to marry US-fiance in Switzerland Lovebug Permits/visas/government 9 27.10.2009 15:20


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 06:00.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0