Also, there is intent, did I intend to speed? Did I know insulting him (it is the truth) was against the law? No

The stuff he did is FAR worse and I asked them to remove us all vs just me before. None of are Swiss.

Misogyny is alive and well here and I'd hope other expats would be more outraged vs pointing fingers at me. Remember I'm the victim, had he obeyed the law = permit!

All I know is that in June you posted about the options of going to jail instead of paying the money. Also in June you already wrote that your permit was denied.

And nobody here is saying you are a bad person, and I myself don't think of you as a bad person. But I do believe you focus way to much on the insult, just the insult alone would in my opinion not be enough reason if it was the only thing against you to send you out of the country.

Also what you write down leaves zero privacy and everybody who reads this and knows you in real live will recognise your story, we warned you a lot of times to keep things to yourself to not further weaken your position, yet here you are accusing him of fraud on a public forum. You surely carry a lot of anger and this is understandable, but you have to try harder to leave that anger out of the situation because every misstep you make will dig the hole you are in deeper.

Yes and luckily this does not happen (at least not only for 650,- fines and 3 months bans) but it does add to the pile, and when doing such while an application is running, you just give them another stick to hit you.

It's hard to be sympathetic with you in this war of the roses. In fact, I'm beginning to believe the only victims here are the children.

June was the other thing not the speeding.

And you can post stuff on the net, you're saying my post without a name is a crime? Are you crazy??

So if a man doesn't follow court orders and someone suffers, tough tits on them? You're right it's my own fault, I should have stayed in my abusive marriage and not seek a better life for me and my kids.

Again, neither did I even know was a crime, and his crimes are FAR worse.

Have you ever been to court for something you didn't do then lost access to your kids? Do you think my email was really that bad?

No matter the abuse, when a woman strikes back it's always the woman who is blamed.

Don't start downplaying your own behaviour, everybody who knows him/you knows perfectly well who you are talking about, and there is zero doubt about who it is due to all the info you post. The more you post the more I stop caring what shit you get yourself in, but you already are convicted for insult and here you are, all he has to do is do a google search, scrape the info and you have another court case coming your way, but hey it seems that is what you want, so go ahead.

I did not say you overspeeded in June. I said you overspeeded during your application and that you asked about on the forum in June which led me to the conclusion is was not something from long ago but more a recent happening.

Your postings shows perfectly well how you want to see yourself as much victim as can be. Even the overspeeding is not your fault. Stop doing that and take responsibility for what you did.

Not knowing the law has never been an excuse. And stop focusing on him, what trouble he stays out is actually no longer of your concern. It just makes you look like the disgruntled where everything besides herself is to blame.
As for the abuse, did you file cases/reports, has he been convicted? Or is it as a fact completely irrelevant to the official handling of your situation.
Nope, but on the other hand, neither have you. And what I think of your email, well I think it was no matter how understandable it might be a very dumb action.

You have really no clue how easy you make it for people here to dislike you. And if you have the same attitude outside Englishforum than you don't need your ex making life hard for you, you can do such perfectly well yourself.

It sounds to me like you have been through hell, and abuse is a terrible thing and can exhaust one and frazzle one's nerves. That shouldn't have to happen to anyone.

Even so, if you are trying to obtain something (a permit, an order for payment of support and child-support, an order giving you access to your children) from government authorities, then you will have to conform to their systems.

The point is not whether Edwin, or I, or anyone else here thinks your email or your speeding or your lack of income are really that bad. The point is that the Swiss authorities think so. Those are the points that are probably counting against you in your applications.

And since you want something from them, it will be up to you to do things their way. Even if that feels, or is, unfair.

That isn't how the law works. Don't quit your day job just yet!



yep


Oddly people outside of here like me and understand what has happened to em is horrific, So if it's just you that hates me I'm ok. Another dutchie hates me, so be it.


Also um at the end of the day, he broke the law and it's for the kids this, not me. But alas you just can't get off your high horse and admit that ay?

But it's one thing if you KNOW you are about to commit a crime, at the end of the day I had no idea my email wasn't legal to send. And it's petty stuff when it comes to kids. But the whole thing has been mishandled.

And if crimes are used for permits, it should work on his permit too, don't you think?

What happened has happened. And whatever happened, it is never good if a mother gets separated from her kids.

Anyone who does have an idea to help BLP or what she can do when appealing the rejection ?

Absolutely not. But has the situation improved for you? For the kids? Not trying to be judgmental here at all, others seem to be doing that job very well or don't realize it's the last kind of "help" you need. Good luck and I hope things will turn in a better way asap. In the meantime, guard your privacy, the convo here is the oposite of private!

Maybe people sleep better if I'm not in the country? So they point fingers vs offer suggestions.

Although let's not point out the obvious, this could happen to other stay at home mums. A man doesn't follow the order so the woman is thrown out. It's 2019, a man shouldn't be able to do this!!!!

I'm on twitter, I am ok without privacy

I'm not scared to speak out. Should I be scared to speak out? To say what has happened to me? Victims should stay silent?

Feel bad for the kids, most of all. Speaking out isn't a bad thing but 1st ask your lawyer.

My daughter has seen her mum homeless, powerless, and now maybe thrown out while being forced to live with her dad against her wishes.

Her friends have divorced parents, the kids get both parents, she gets this, isn't not fair. She's going to need therapy which is offered but never happened.

My son? Well, he's a ball of anger.

It's not in my hands.

Do you think having steady income would improve your chances of appeal?

A couple of years ago a friend was in a sort-of-similar bind with her permit. She lost her dependent permit, and the divorce left her with pretty much nothing, she did not have sufficient income in official eyes to grant a permit on her own.

So she hopped on to the '24' suite of household jobs platforms, and started applying for any and every babysitting, senior care, cleaning, tutoring, and pet care job in her area offering regular hours. Within a very short time, a couple weeks IIRC, she had contracts for several part time jobs which, cobbled together, amounted to sufficient income to assuage the authorities.

No, it wasn't what she had envisioned doing with her life, far from it. She was a med tech back home but couldn't work here without degree recognition, a process that was going to take far longer than the Permit Gods had patience for.

But the string of small (legal!) jobs got her enough income to prove self-sufficiency... and she was given a B permit on her own merit.

Two years down the line she now has degree recognition and a job in her profession. It was a tough couple of years, but ultimately a happy ending.

Just a thought... but if income is a stumbling block, you might consider a short term solution like '24'.

Wishing you all the best.

I haven't had a lot of luck with babysitting jobs I have to be honest. They ask for childcare references. I applied for several jobs over the years, I haven't the best health and stress has increased my issues. I don't turn away work, sometimes it's been work or see my kid though, which is also horrible.

He is also seeking 1600 child support. So if I do a get a job I don't get to see the money, there is another nasty part of the puzzle.

If I have to go back to the UK, to find a job that pays my rent, my flights every week to CH, 1600 child support, hotels. Well, think unicorns are going to fly first.

Also working while flying back and forth? Doesn't leave many hours does it?

In Switzerland, as you've discovered, insulting someone is a crime.

Now, let's say your ex in some way stumbles on this site. He will know who you are from what you've posted. If you've insulted him again here, then he could try to get you charged with the insult crime again.

Therefore you must be careful what you write.

Rule 1 of contributing to an internet forum - assume everyone knows who you really are.

Now, some good news. I knew a woman who was rejected for her permit at cantonal level. She appealed and won, and, the canton had to pay her legal costs.

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Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!