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Old 16.10.2009, 19:51
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Please Help! Anyone Married a U.S. Citizen? Your suggestions, please!

Hi, I am American and my boyfriend is Swiss. I was just in Switzerland on a Tourist Visa for three months living with my boyfriend and now I came back to America, because I didn't want to get in trouble overstaying my tourist Visa. We have both been back and forth in the last year twice each, me to Switzerland and him to the U.S. I came back to apply for a Fiance Visa, but it is a long process and it means that we will have to stay in our own countries for months apart while paperwork is processed and we don't want to do this. We really didn't want to get married to stay together, but it seems this is the only way. I want to come back to Switzerland as soon as possible. I know I have to stay out of the EU for 30 days before I return. Is it possible to get married on a Tourist Visa? And is it easier for him to come here and get married in the U.S. (justice of the peace) and then return together OR for me to come back to Switzerland and get married there? I want to be able to get my B permit. I have read a lot on both these issues and haven't gotten any straight answers. Can someone who has experience with this please help me. I am tired of this long distance and going back and forth to the U.S. and Switzerland. I want to be able to be with my boyfriend and be able to work and live a "normal" life. Please help! Tell me the easiest solution.
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Old 16.10.2009, 20:14
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

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Tell me the easiest solution.
!!!

I'm sorry to say that my first response is to say, "PAUSE!" and think carefully ... there are so many stories with bad endings about people rushing into marriage for the sake of a visa.

You're a big step ahead of many of these because you are actually in lurve (I gather!), and that's good, but have you guys been together for long?

Sorry to sound like your mom. This is just a plea to think really carefully about this -- please don't just take the "easy" option!

As for the "easiest solution", I'm sorry, I don't have any experience in this, but I'm sure that others here will help with advice.

Sincerely, I wish you very good luck and hope for the best outcome for you.
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Old 16.10.2009, 20:46
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

Have your boyfriend take a look at this: http://www.bfm.admin.ch/bfm/de/home/...dergesetz.html

Also, have him ask at the local Migrationsamt for what would be the quicker option:

1. apply for a fiance visa for you, marriage in Switzerland, .....
2. get married in the US and then apply for a residence permit under the family reunification rules.

I suspect option 2 would be quicker.

Your boyfriend is Swiss. He should be able to get the answers with a few phonecalls. If he isn't willing to help out, then maybe you should consider something else.

I am not going to comment as to what I think is the best choice as it seems like you're a big enough girl. Do what you think is appropriate.
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Old 16.10.2009, 20:56
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

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Have your boyfriend take a look at this: http://www.bfm.admin.ch/bfm/de/home/...dergesetz.html

Also, have him ask at the local Migrationsamt for what would be the quicker option:

1. apply for a fiance visa for you, marriage in Switzerland, .....
2. get married in the US and then apply for a residence permit under the family reunification rules.

I suspect option 2 would be quicker.

Your boyfriend is Swiss. He should be able to get the answers with a few phonecalls. If he isn't willing to help out, then maybe you should consider something else.

I am not going to comment as to what I think is the best choice as it seems like you're a big enough girl. Do what you think is appropriate.
Point 2 is not true.

I came here on a tourist visa (I'm American, he's Swiss). My husband (well, fiance at the time) and I went to the town hall here a few days later, submitted all the paperwork and I was issued an L visa (temporary). The marriage request was approved, and we were married a few months later.

Do some searches here on EF, there are several threads about there here.
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Old 16.10.2009, 21:02
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

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Point 2 is not true.

I came here on a tourist visa (I'm American, he's Swiss). My husband (well, fiance at the time) and I went to the town hall here a few days later, submitted all the paperwork and I was issued an L visa (temporary). The marriage request was approved, and we were married a few months later.

Do some searches here on EF, there are several threads about there here.
Well there you go, someone with actual experience rather than someone (myself) spouting hearsay.

Just curious, what about option 2 is not true? If they were to marry in the States, what would be the process to get a residence permit here?
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Old 16.10.2009, 21:23
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

It is easier to get married in the States. My then-boyfriend (now husband) and I spontaneously got married 3 days before we left for Switzerland. I had no problems when I got here. With the marriage license we registered and got our Familienbuch and I got a B-permit. That was over 12 years ago. Depending on where you get married in the States it will most likely involve less time and paperwork. In our case it took all of 20 minutes, from filling out the papers, paying to saying our vows.
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Old 16.10.2009, 21:42
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

Hi
I m having the same problem.... my boyfriend is from my homecountry but he has B- permiss. We already talked about get married but i simply refuse that.
I m looking for job and its not easy.... ....but i will never get married for a "permiss". I m sorry, i love my boyfriend but i think its important never misture things and keep our life clean... and more important: you would loose his respect sooner or later!!!! I know several girls that got married, they have permiss know, but they are not happy and life is not happy and in fact they regret it.
I m sorry... my advice : keep strong, get a job....and maybe try in U.S. Embassy!!!

P.S.- www.greataupair.com ( is easy to get in the country working as a nanny )

Good luck









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!!!

I'm sorry to say that my first response is to say, "PAUSE!" and think carefully ... there are so many stories with bad endings about people rushing into marriage for the sake of a visa.

You're a big step ahead of many of these because you are actually in lurve (I gather!), and that's good, but have you guys been together for long?

Sorry to sound like your mom. This is just a plea to think really carefully about this -- please don't just take the "easy" option!

As for the "easiest solution", I'm sorry, I don't have any experience in this, but I'm sure that others here will help with advice.

Sincerely, I wish you very good luck and hope for the best outcome for you.
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Old 16.10.2009, 22:10
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

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......I am tired of this long distance and going back and forth to the U.S. and Switzerland. I want to be able to be with my boyfriend and be able to work and live a "normal" life. Please help! Tell me the easiest solution.
if you marry him the long distance thing is going to continue -

- you "discuss" which country you want to live in,
- then where to have kids,
- then the "grandparents" start nagging you that they never get to see them
- so you spend all your holidays and spare cash going back to the other country
- then you again discuss which country you want to live in
- which language/school system do the kids do their schooling in

the list goes on...

oh, and "normal" is a) relative b) overrated!

I suggest you find a job here and get yourself your own B permit.
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Old 16.10.2009, 23:11
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

First off, I am too old to be an Au Pair, I am 32. Also, work as an English as a Second Language Instructor, that is how my boyfriend and I met in America and we have known each other for a year now. I got offers from 3 schools while I was in Switzerland to teach English, but no one would get me a permit, because I am American (non-EU) and no one wanted to go through the permit process with me. My boyfriend and I love each other, but just didn't want to rush into marriage because of all the issues with being from other countries. We plan to live in Switzerland for 2 years then weigh our options with coming to the U.S, but now that I am in the U.S. the Consulate is going to make me wait a long time to come back with a fiance Visa and I wanted to weigh my options. So, please anything else is helpful. Can I come back to Switzerland on a tourist Visa and get married there while on it, really is my question. The lady at the NY Swiss Consulate told me no, but I have read a lot of places that this is possible.

Last edited by crfesi; 17.10.2009 at 04:20.
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Old 16.10.2009, 23:18
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

How about a civil partnership like same gender couples have ?
That's recognized I think.
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Old 16.10.2009, 23:51
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

my hubby and i got married in the states (he's french, i'm american) and it was no problem to get a b-permit. it was relatively easy and he isn't swiss, but has residency.

in terms of a job, i am also an esl teacher- and depending on what kind of teaching you want to do, the language schools that offer positions are not really what you may be used to in the states- so just beware.

back to the- o.p.- the paperwork of marriage is the easiest part! but if you're not sure that you want to be married just yet- personally i would say wait a bit more and if your relationship can stand a bit of abnormality for a while, it's a stronger relationship! . the fiancee permit may be a blessing in giving you time to get everything in order and see how life is together before you make the plunge!

best of luck to you!
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Old 17.10.2009, 04:25
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

I think maybe I stated my question wrong, my bf and I are in love, but neither of us is in a rush to get married, we wouldn't be if it wasn't for the laws for us to be together. This situation is also in terms of money and jobs too. I can't keep coming back to the US to stay here without work (I can't work another job and quit) and my bf and I keep having to pay for flights back and forth. I gave up my apt, etc in San Diego, so now I have to come back to Pennsylvania each time where my family is so I have a place to stay. It is also financially exhausting for me and making my work history or lack of for the last year not look good on my resume and I think this will hurt me getting a job in Switzerland after if I do get a residence permit.
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Old 17.10.2009, 08:11
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

Hello, I am an American and recently married an EU citizen living in Switzerland. We got married in the States and then he applied for the 'Family reunion/Familien Nachzug' visa from within Switzerland while I stayed in the US. This is much faster than applying at the Consulate or Embassy in the US.. The Consulate in Chicago told me it would take 2-3 months for my visa to be approved and that I HAD to go through them, but we didn't. The Gemiende told my husband it would be 2-3 weeks. He applied in Switzerland at the Gemiende and it took 2 days.

I have heard it is easiest to come to Switzerland as a tourist, get married, then go to the Gemiende with your husband to register. They'll start the paper work right away and you won't have to leave Switzerland.

Good Luck!
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Old 17.10.2009, 08:44
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

I know a girl from California who moved out here with her Swiss BF, lived with him for a year without registering, then they broke up and she proceeded to live here another 7 years with no permit by renting a room with friends, and giving 1 hour English lessons under the table, teaching conversational English one on one in various Cafes in Zurich. She was eventually caught when she applied and got a temporary teaching contract at a language school and was issued a temporary permit. Once the permit expired she was then on the radar of the Fremdenpolizei and she had to leave the country. Moved back to California and that was quite some time ago. What's the worst thing they can do to you? Ask you to leave. I would decide on a setting a date to make a concrete decision whether you are going to get married or not, say 6 months after coming over (permit or no), then when that milestone comes around, make the decision yes or no and move forwards with you life one way or another.
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Old 17.10.2009, 08:46
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

fyi, if you drive into Switzerland from Germany or France, they don't even check passports anymore since about 6 months ago. They do at the airport.
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Old 17.10.2009, 09:07
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

Karl's approach could work - as long as you plan never to move to Switzerland (or any Schengen country) ever again.

But I find life is so much easier when you're on the right side of the law, don't you?
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Old 17.10.2009, 09:19
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

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.... I got offers from 3 schools while I was in Switzerland to teach English, but no one would get me a permit, .......
to get my first job here, I sent of over 50 applications, and I spoke German!! . That you already have 3 offers, is fantabulous. In the words of Nemo (or Dory) - just keep trying.
It is hard to get a job here, but not impossible.


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The lady at the NY Swiss Consulate told me no, but I have read a lot of places that this is possible.
aawwww.. don't believe everything they say.
just like in normal life - only believe what you want to hear


Don't do anything illegal - read other posts on the topic- if you they catch you, and deport you, and you want to come back on 30 years for whatever reason, you cant.
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Old 17.10.2009, 09:40
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

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Have your boyfriend take a look at this: http://www.bfm.admin.ch/bfm/de/home/...dergesetz.html

Also, have him ask at the local Migrationsamt for what would be the quicker option:

1. apply for a fiance visa for you, marriage in Switzerland, .....
2. get married in the US and then apply for a residence permit under the family reunification rules.

I suspect option 2 would be quicker.

Your boyfriend is Swiss. He should be able to get the answers with a few phonecalls. If he isn't willing to help out, then maybe you should consider something else.

I am not going to comment as to what I think is the best choice as it seems like you're a big enough girl. Do what you think is appropriate.
I don't know about option 2, but my wife and I married in Lake Tahoe.
We received an Apostille( equivalent of notary public in US ) on the
marriage certificate. The community(Gemeinde) accepted it without
question.
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Old 17.10.2009, 09:48
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

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but my wife and I married in Lake Tahoe.
So did we


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We received an Apostille( equivalent of notary public in US ) on the marriage certificate. The community(Gemeinde) accepted it without question.
Is your wife Swiss?
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Old 17.10.2009, 10:11
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Re: Please Help!! Anyone Marry a U.S. Citizen??? Your suggestiosn Please!

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So did we




Is your wife Swiss?

My wife is German. Is your wife/husband Swiss?
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