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  #21  
Old 27.08.2011, 19:34
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Re: My cat's last trip

This is her, 3 years ago sitting like a Queen on her favorite chair and waiting for food.
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Old 27.08.2011, 19:45
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Re: My cat's last trip

I'm so sorry nil she sounds like a very special cat. Treasure the time you have left with her nothing can prepare you for when the time comes. All I can say time is a great healer, and in time you will smile at all the memories you have of her. My dog was knocked down and killed years ago she was my best friend I cried buckets and missed her so much, now I look back and remember all the good times we had together with a smile. Hugs x
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Old 27.08.2011, 19:49
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Re: My cat's last trip

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What a beautiful and wise creature. But like owner, like cat, no?
OK a bit OT but then I think I know why my female cats always behave like bitchy divas LOL
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Old 27.08.2011, 19:54
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Re: My cat's last trip

I think MC summed up the most important parts. I'd like to share two ideas.

When my older Beagle was dying, it was from a very aggressive cancer. 6 months from discovery until I said goodbye. He was 12. His half brother I still have, who is going to be 14 very soon (if that says anything about longevity). My vet and I decided on a care plan and a decision table together. E.g. If A works, then X action. If B works, then Y action. If neither A nor B, then Z action. Everyone was prepared that Z was a possibility. One day, my Beagle just looked at me, and his eyes were different. He'd been having difficulty breathing and was coughing a lot more. Don't ask how, but when he looked at me that day, I could see the cancer had spread, and his quality of life was nothing. I took him to the vet that evening, and he listened to my Beagle's lungs, and checked his eyes. Outside of doing more tests, we wouldn't know if it was in fact the cancer, but it was very likely to have spread. He felt, as did I, that it was the right time to say goodbye.

Approximately 8 years earlier, I had to put another dog to sleep. He was just 18 months old, but had liver failure. I couldn't bare to be present to say goodbye to him. I left him with the vet, signed the authorization to euthanize him, and left. I never really forgave myself for that, and I always liked to believe that he made a recovery and was really living happily somewhere. So when I put my 12 year old Beagle to sleep, I made sure I stayed, to hold him through the process and say goodbye properly. I don't know that everyone can do this. For me though, it helped my grieving and to bring closure.
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Old 27.08.2011, 20:08
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Re: My cat's last trip

I had to put 3 ferrets to sleep over the years, and I always thought that I owed to them to stay till the end.

It is extremely difficult, but I cuddled them in my arms when the vet made the first shot to make them sleep. They fell asleep peacefully in my arms, and when the vet made the second lethal shot I couldn't even notice the exact moment when their hearts stopped.

Our pets bring us so much joy during their lives that it is our duty to ease their deaths, and to make it happen in a loving and caring environment if possible.
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Old 27.08.2011, 20:13
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Re: My cat's last trip

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Before we moved, she had an kidney infection and the vet told us it was because she was old. Her kidneys are shutting down slowly and soon, she'll be gone.


How do you get ready for that? How do you prepare yourself?

I am going to get in touch with the vet about what to do, how they can organise everything for cremation, etc. Because I don't want to deal with the stress to find someone when I'll be crying her loss.

How do you get ready for that? How do you explain to your child that our sweet friend is gone?

I have no idea how long she still have. I look at the way she is changing and I know it won't last longer than a few months. She doesn't suffer but if she began to, I won't let her in pain.

Any experience with kidneys failure in cats?
First off, my condolences. Losing a pet is like having a little part of your heart ripped out.

My eyes still well up when I think of my last dog, Dino, who had to be put to sleep right before my move to CH.

The thing to remember, if you ask me, is that this wonderful creature spent her life with you. She gave you joy, and you her. She can't live forever, but what you'll always have is over a decade of memories to look back on. I'm grateful for every day I got to spend with Dino.

I don't know if you can really prepare yourself.


As for practical matters: my dad, who kept my childhood cat, Max, after my parents separated, had to treat Max for creeping kidney failure for a few years. My dad's a doctor, so he was able to provide palliative care not always practical for most people: regular IV infusions. This kept the cat feeling better and may have extended his life.

But one thing my dad did, for which I have tremendous respect, is that when the time came that Max's quality of life was just too low (when you're only keeping them alive for your own benefit, not the pet's), my dad didn't cram him in a crate for a "final trip", because that particular cat was incredibly fearful of traveling.

Instead, my dad arranged for a vet to do a house call, so that my dad and his wife could hold Max, in his home where he was at ease.

(When we had to have Dino put down, he was too sick to make the trip home, so I convinced the vet to do it in the meadow behind the clinic, so we could do it outside on a beautiful sunny day — I didn't want Dino's last experience, nor our memory of him, to be of the inside of a clinic.)

So yeah, I would talk to the vet about whether euthanasia is appropriate in this situation. If so, do it at home — if that vet won't, then have them refer someone else.
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  #27  
Old 27.08.2011, 20:22
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Re: My cat's last trip

I know the feeling. I had to have a cat put to sleep and i was crying for days after. I couldnt stay with the vet though. My aunt had to do it. I just made sure i buried him in a nice place in the garden. No cremation in Cyprus for pets

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Thanks guys for the kind messages.

People are always in shock when I tell them the story of how Toutoune told me I was pregnant weeks before I could get an answer from the stick. And how she told me I was going to have my labor before time.
This is so interesting. Can you tell us as well how? If you dont mind of course
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Old 27.08.2011, 20:42
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Re: My cat's last trip

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This is so interesting. Can you tell us as well how? If you dont mind of course
It was a week before my period. We were in our first month of trying for a baby. I didn't think for a second we could have it straight at the first test drive.

Anyway, all of a sudden, Toutoune began to lay on my lap and she is not a lap kind of cat, she sits all the time very next to me. So it was very strange, I tried to take her off me but she was resisting it. I thought how strange it was and I began to think maybe I was pregnant. I bought at least 5 pregnancy tests, tried them in different times during 3 days and it was all coming negative. It was driving me crazy because she kept doing it every single day. So I decided to go straight for a blood test. In Istanbul, you can walk into a lab, ask for the blood test and you get the result few hours later. It came out positive, I was in my 3rd week of pregnancy.

She stopped that after a week or 2 and time passed. When I was 8 months and almost an half, she began to do it again, she climbed on top of my belly / mountain. And she refused to move. This was on the monday. She kept doing this the next few days and I told Hubby I was going to have my labor that week so I prepared my bag and things I wanted to bring to the hospital.

I lost my water on Thursday.

She never ever sat on my belly, tummy, stomach in the last 3 years. Not even with my son. Is it why she has that special connection with my daughter?

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Old 27.08.2011, 20:52
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Re: My cat's last trip

Tooki - a house call can be very expensive- but in our eyes and heart- the very best 'thank you' we could give to our wonderful pets, both cats and dogs, when 'that' time came- each of them so special and wonderful.
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Old 27.08.2011, 22:21
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Re: My cat's last trip

Hi Nil - Sorry to hear about your cat. There is a comforting story for kid's (and it always brings a tear to my eye, as well) about where our pets go to wait for us after they pass. It is called The Rainbow Bridge:
(http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm)

And the petloss website has a lot of info about how to deal with the grief.

Peace...

fduvall

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Hi,

I have my cat since 12 years, we have lived in 4 differents countries together and she has been with me for the most important events in my life.

My sweet furry best friend is old and she is slowly reaching the end. She used to be a happy fatso who lived to eat. She doesn't have the same passion for food anymore and she eats less, much less. She is losing a lot of weight and I can feel every bones on her body. She used to have that big layer of fat everywhere.

Before we moved, she had an kidney infection and the vet told us it was because she was old. Her kidneys are shutting down slowly and soon, she'll be gone.


How do you get ready for that? How do you prepare yourself?

I am going to get in touch with the vet about what to do, how they can organise everything for cremation, etc. Because I don't want to deal with the stress to find someone when I'll be crying her loss.

How do you get ready for that? How do you explain to your child that our sweet friend is gone?

I have no idea how long she still have. I look at the way she is changing and I know it won't last longer than a few months. She doesn't suffer but if she began to, I won't let her in pain.

Any experience with kidneys failure in cats?

Nil

Last edited by My2pups; 28.08.2011 at 00:16.
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  #31  
Old 28.08.2011, 00:50
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Re: My cat's last trip

Sorry to hear about your cat, Nil. I have a hard time holding tears back remembering going through the exact same thing you are going through, some 2 years ago. My 13 year old (and until then perfectly healthy and active) cat got a strange disease that started to shut his kidneys off.

What I did was heart-breaking but simple. I watched him closely until we realized he was losing weight too fast and wouldn't even eat. Then I scheduled euthanasia, asked the vet to arrange everything in advanced, and the day I took him in I said goodbye to my cat, gave him a big hug and left. No use torturing yourself staying there until the last second.

When I got home I told our children the cat was extremely ill and we doubted he would make it, but we would see what happens in a few days. It was a little white lie that helped the children quite a bit. After a few days (3 o 4 days, I guess) we told them our pet didn't make it, and passed away.

Those last few days without our cat helped the children understand life without our pet, and made grieving a lot easier.
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Old 28.08.2011, 01:41
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Re: My cat's last trip

Oh, she is beautiful, Nil... what a lovely kitty. It is sad - we all would want to have our pets live forever.

I had an 11 yrs old male - beautiful black panther. Suddenly he got poorly, and within days I saw him deteriorate... rads showed tumors all over inside him, and it was SOOO hard to take the decision - within 24 hrs... I still cry if I think of it, and miss him very much; we all do. He had been with me through poor and rich, illness and health... litterally. But I could not keep illness away from him.

When I realized that he was in pain - then I knew it was the right decision. True, occasionally I wonder if I read the signs correctly; but yes, a kitty purrs to show trust and love - and s/he will keep at it, even if ill. The last night he was with me, I stayed with him, and he curled, purring, in my arms

Nil, be strong for your kitty. She has been lucky, and much loved.
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Old 28.08.2011, 10:05
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Re: My cat's last trip

So sorry that your going to loose your best friend my daughter (who is a vet) had to put her dog to sleep 2 months ago and shes still crying nearly every day.
When it was his last day she could just tell he wanted to go so she had one of her friends come to the house and he could go to sleep on his own bed with Simona hugging him ( I think he deserved that she was with him till the end) she then had him cremated had his ash put in a wooden box and when she feels she can is going to put a little bit of his ashes on all his favorite places.
Im sure you gave your puss the best life possible instead last week my daughter had to put to sleep a cat that someone couldnt be bothered with anymore cos it was ill
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Old 28.08.2011, 11:06
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Re: My cat's last trip

I'm sorry Nil, it really is tough.
I lost my cat to kidney problems, he was only 5 years old.
I held him in my arms till the end, as the light left his eyes.
It was the least I could do, to stay, he had given me so much love.
He was in too much pain.

The vet will ask you if you want to stay, and then it's just a shot and it's over in seconds. You won't need to worry about the rest, the vet takes care of that.

It was hard breaking the news to my little one. We all hurt together. There really is no way to say it, except as it is. I do find kids respond better to the simple basic truth.

Hugs,
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Old 28.08.2011, 12:14
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Re: My cat's last trip

Well as you can see from my name I haven't gotten over the sudden cruel death of my cat in March of this year. She was only 8. She went through marriage and divorce and 3 countries with me. She became my partner, my child and my confidente in the darkest of days. After a particularly lazy weekend when I failed to recognize the difference between pain and laziness (she had been fine a few days prior and was always partilcularly lazy), she went limp. I rushed her to the vet who told me tholdie had to run tests. He told me to go home. 45m later he called me and said it was cancer but there was a chance but no time to waste, he had to open her immediately. Then he called again, the cancer had spread, that the only humane thing to do was to not let her come to. In just an hour, I lost her and never had a chance to say goodbye.
What to expect is difficult to describe. The loss of a pet is not really understood by our society as an acceptable source of real grief except by other pet owners so it is a lonely process. I kept telling myself "she's just a stupid cat" but of course she was much more than that. I cried daily for weeks, months. 6 months on I still cry if I think of her, and I still can't quite understand that I'll never see her again.

The words of advice my mother told me following my divorce were the only comfort I could find. "the very condition of love is that separation is inevitable. Whether through physical separation, divorce or death, sooner or later, you will be separated. Some separations happen earlier than others. But if you are going to love and keep loving in this life, you have to accept the eventual inevitable separation we will all be forced to experience.

You never accept it. But you learn to live with it. It will be one of the hardest and most important life lessons for your child too. good luck and keep posting if it helps.
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Old 28.08.2011, 12:42
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Re: My cat's last trip

My hubby who is Italian cant understand that my daughter is still crying 2 months later they have a different relationship with animals but when you love an animal so much its as if a part of you dies.
My daughter that has to put quite a few animals to sleep and she feels everyone.
Only time helps so hope your soon feeling better, sending you a big hug
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Old 28.08.2011, 13:07
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Re: My cat's last trip

I mentioned The Rainbow Bridge upthread, but thought I would post it for all to see because it is a beautiful story and I am a big softy.

It has always been comforting to me and a nice story to tell children trying to cope with the death of a friend. http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

---------

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...
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  #38  
Old 28.08.2011, 16:13
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Re: My cat's last trip

My beautiful cat Kizzy died over ten years ago, she also had kidney failure. Just the other day I was running through the woods listening to music, when I started out of the blue to think of her, and found myself with tears running down my face. She was 18 when we had to have her put to sleep and it broke my heart. She had been with me since she was twelve weeks old, when I first left home at 22 and got my own house. She was a gorgeous tabby with white socks and green eyes, she was my baby.
She developed kidney problems a few years before she died, she had many visits to the vet, which we both hated, I dreaded putting her through each visit. When I realised her time had come, and I think you will know when this happens, I asked the vet to come to the house to make Kizzy's last hours as stress free as possibe. If you can do this I would really advise you to do so, she went very peacefully.
Until then though, all I can say is give your cat lots of water and if you can, special food from your vet to keep her as well as you can for as long as you can, and of course all your love and attention. Enjoy every moment you have with her. I had 'friends' saying to me that 'it's only a cat'!!! I could have slapped them. I don't think I will ever properly get over her loss, I am getting a lump in my throat just writing this.
I would imagine that your vet would sort out all the final arrangements, such as the cremation. I'm not sure about the laws here in Switzerland, or Spain, but Kizzy and our other beautiful cat Jasper, whose death was equally upsetting, are buried in our garden, which I found a great comfort. We still own the house in England, which I am so glad about.
Meanwhile, I send you lots of love and good wishes, to you and your baby, I hope she is with you for a few years yet, and when you do lose her, I wish you and your family strength to cope with your loss as best you can.
Susan.

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  #39  
Old 29.08.2011, 15:14
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Re: My cat's last trip

Saturna died two and a half years ago on St Valentines Day at 3 a.m. She was fine beforehand, and suddenly had a fit. I got her on the bed and lay beside her for a few hours just talking to her and stroking her. She purred until the end.

Reading this thread has brought a tear or two to my eyes. I miss her lots. Her ashes are sitting on my coffee table and I talk to her daily. She was 14.

I am the crazy cat woman of Geneva!!

Nil, all I can say is lots of cuddles for Toutoune and lots of cuddles for mini Nil too. and lots of cuddles for you too.
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Old 29.08.2011, 16:15
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Re: My cat's last trip

Yesterday we were having a lay in in our bed, Hubby, me, mini-me and Toutoune. It was so nice to see my daughter gently huging and kissing her. She is young, but not stupid and I know it will be tough on her too.

I am watching Toutoune closely, I observe what she eats, what she drinks, etc.

I got some pills from the vet in Basel that I should give her everyday to keep her alive longer he said. But it is no way she will take them. I try to mix it with the food, she'll eat all except the pill, I tried to transform it in powder, she won't touch her food. I try to put it in the water but the dosage is then too random.... The only way she'll take it is if I force it down her troat! It is no way I'll do that to her every single day. No.

So, I guess as long as she doesn't have an infection and pee everywhere, it is not much to do than waiting. I also check how often she goes to her box.
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