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Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern
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beardsy
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20.08.2011
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City/Town: Bern
Event Type: Other
Meeting Point: Bern

[Dramatic American voice]
LAST SUMMER, there was TOURIST DAY.

THIS YEAR, get ready for ANOTHER ONE.
[/voice]

Tourist Simulator Day is a day of childish fun for people who like fun. More specifically, for people who like the same kind of fun that I do.

What is fun?

Fun means going to Bern and pretending to be stupid tourists.
Fun means asking people for directions to things that don't exist or are far away.
Fun means looking disappointed when locals tell you that the Matterhorn is not in Bern.
Fun means getting excited about some bears.
Fun means interacting with the indigenous population for your, their, and my amusement.

What will we do?

I'll be taking a bunch of people from Zurich HB, and we'll arrive in Bern at about 11:00 am. If anyone comes from elsewhere, we'll meet them in Bern (or Zurich before 10:00).
The person who is least fun on the train will be sent home.
In Bern, I'll split everyone into small teams. Those teams will walk around and do beardy's Bernish Tourist Simulator Challenge (see post below). That involves doing silly, fun things and seeing as much of Bern as possible, but especially the bears, which are the most important bit.
The person who loves the bears the least will be sent home.
Each group will have a leader, and each group will contain someone who was on Tourist Day #1, so they know what to expect.
After walking around looking at stuff and doing challenge tasks, we'll try to meet somewhere and eat together.
The bits about sending people home aren't true. I said it to annoy you. It'd be cool though.

Who should come
* The schedule of the day will vary from group to group - it won't be planned in great detail. It will be chaotic and silly. If you're a control freak who likes to have every second of his future planned, this isn't for you! If you're chilled and easy-going, and don't react with disturbing amounts of stress at life's complications, think about coming. If you're the kind of person who gets stressed that restaurants haven't been booked, don't come.
* People who are genuinely new in Switzerland and want to meet some cool ex-pats. This is for you! Jaded, world-weary guys who just want to come to have something to complain about, this isn't for you.
* People for whom the idea of talking to strangers about ludicrous things is outside their comfort zone, but do-able.
* People who, in the words of my hot French friend - "Will do anything you want. [long pause]. No, not that."

Who shouldn't come
* Last year, most people walked to the nearest bar and sat drinking for three hours. That's obviously a nice way to spend the day, but it's not the point of Tourist Day.
* Grumpy people. Complainers. People who expect to be entertained instead of adding value.
* People who hate me (AKA people who have met me already)
* People who think they are fun but are not

Summary
I don't want a huge group. I have a bunch of cool people coming already, and ideally would just bring a few more. If I have to limit the numbers for my own mental well-being, I'll give priority to people who are new to Switzerland.

And remember - FUN.
RSVP'd Yes: 11 (7 members and 4 guests)
  • sygirl101
  • Pamir
  • bettomor - I'm new to Switzerland, but living in Bern now. As for the simulabor challenge below, may I ask (with a scared trembling voice) if I would be sent home if I can only do 1/3 of it?
  • beardsy + 3 guests - (Note to self) AW, CM, NB
  • darwiniandemon + 1 guest - Moved to Bern last month and am itching to explore the city like a stupid tourist.
  • ChocolateBear - Sounds like my kind of fun. I am in and also a newbie in Bern.
  • a_junebug - If there is room I'd like to join in. I am new ... :)
RSVP'd Maybe: 3 (3 members and No guests)
  • Mayaprincess - Hi, I live near Geneva but would love to join if I'm in the country :)
  • zwissmiss - only if it is raining
  • MsWorWoo - This sounds like fun, I've not even moved to Zurich yet so I think I might be a real tourist :) Only problem is, is my 3 year old allowed, or is she not fun?
RSVP'd No: 10
  • Bumble-Bee - Guys i am so sorry to let you down but something came up and i have to go visit the family! :( hope you enjoy it nevertheless
  • Wakey - This does sound like fun, but unfortunately I already have other commitments :( maybe next year!
  • colinwheeler - Damn, I so wish I could come along but am moving that day....Maybe next year! So you guys had best make this year a success!
  • terramundi - I read about the whole Zurich tourist day last year and it looked excellent! Sadly I have something else on that day. Will you do Basel next year?
  • The Boot - sorry realised I can't do it. Have fun!
  • c123 - 'wrong' weekend for me unfortuantely.
  • Tj88 - sorry, something came up.. maybe next time
  • KeinFranzösisch - sounds like a LOAD of fun but I might be on a date with a Frenchy that day...
  • JustRose - sorry, can no longer make it, maybe next year!
  • meshell555
RSVP sign-ups for this event are now closed.
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  #21  
Old 18.08.2011, 10:35
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

ORGANISATION TIME

As someone has pointed out - it's two days till Tourist Day 2. Argh! Time to get ready and stuff.

ZURICH TO BERN

Anyone joining us in Zurich, we'll be getting the 10:02 intercity arriving in Bern just before 11. If you're coming from Zurich, meet me at 9:50 under the angel. Don't forget your halbtax!

PHONE NUMBERS
I've written to all the yesses and maybes to get phone numbers so I can organise things on the day. If you're just signing up now, please also send me a PM with your number. I'll reply with mine.

MEETING POINT IN BERN

I've never been to Bern so, yeah, I don't know where to meet.
Can one of the Bern guys suggest a place?
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  #22  
Old 18.08.2011, 18:38
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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ORGANISATION TIME

As someone has pointed out - it's two days till Tourist Day 2. Argh! Time to get ready and stuff.

ZURICH TO BERN

Anyone joining us in Zurich, we'll be getting the 10:02 intercity arriving in Bern just before 11. If you're coming from Zurich, meet me at 9:50 under the angel. Don't forget your halbtax!

PHONE NUMBERS
I've written to all the yesses and maybes to get phone numbers so I can organise things on the day. If you're just signing up now, please also send me a PM with your number. I'll reply with mine.

MEETING POINT IN BERN

I've never been to Bern so, yeah, I don't know where to meet.
Can one of the Bern guys suggest a place?
Im not from Bern but maybe meeting near the ticket office in the station will be a good idea? Somebody from Bern can tell us if its a good place or not.

And beardsy can you please please please have a third one somewhere closer to Geneva? I was going to come to this one but im working
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  #23  
Old 18.08.2011, 20:19
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

At the main station there is a huge sign board with all the connections close to MacDonalds. Its a common meeting place and the most convenient for people getting off the train. I suggest we meet there somewhere under the board as its the least hassle to find (almost impossible to miss) It quite busy, but I am sure the crowd will be big enough to be noticed (and are supposed to be dressed appropriately anyway, so spottin each other shouldnt be a problem)

Sound good?
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  #24  
Old 19.08.2011, 00:53
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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At the main station there is a huge sign board with all the connections close to MacDonalds.

Sound good?
Someone else suggested the same place, so yeah!

Meeting point set!
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  #25  
Old 19.08.2011, 00:56
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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And beardsy can you please please please have a third one somewhere closer to Geneva? I was going to come to this one but im working
Interlaken better?
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  #26  
Old 19.08.2011, 00:59
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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Interlaken better?
Anything up to two hours from Geneva is great. Actually the distance isnt that much of a problem as long as i dont work!
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  #27  
Old 19.08.2011, 08:14
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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Anything up to two hours from Geneva is great.
Like.....errrrrr......Bern then?
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  #28  
Old 19.08.2011, 15:43
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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Like.....errrrrr......Bern then?
I know its close but im working this weekend
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  #29  
Old 19.08.2011, 16:43
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Hah. This sounds amazing.

My wife and I just moved to Bern for grad school. We may be able to stop by and say hello and maybe participate in a few hijinks.

Not sure if we'll be able to do the whole shebang, though, as most of our "touristy" stuff is still getting shipped over here: we're basically living in a small temporary apartment and eating grilled ham & cheese sandwiches until we find a proper apartment and all our stuff arrives.

Either way, we'll do our best to meet you guys at the train station in Bern.
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  #30  
Old 19.08.2011, 23:44
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

I've just starting printing the challenge sheets for tomorrow. It's going to be lots of fun...

I'll post a review of the day for those who've missed it.
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  #31  
Old 20.08.2011, 01:01
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

haha guys you are siicccckkkk...sounds good

But i am need to babysitt one cuttie till 15

If someone is for party night in Zürich tomorrow contact me on email.......my plan is to blend in and be a sexy swiss girl
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  #32  
Old 21.08.2011, 11:41
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Fun day yesterday with everyone.

I'll post send the link to photos soon. Just need to find my USB cable.
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  #33  
Old 21.08.2011, 14:09
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern



Tourist Day 2 Review

The five Zurich-based Tourists got off the train in Bern and went the wrong way out of the station. A perfect start! CM, a French woman, scored the first challenge points of the day by asking a young couple for directions to McDonalds. The looks on their faces were priceless – they had never seen such typical tourists before – not even on TV. "What, McDonalds? Really?"

Then we met up with the six Bern-based guys (outside the McDonalds). I rated them by how touristy they looked. “R, you don't look touristy at all!” “But he's Chinese,” said CA, “He automatically looks like a tourist”. “Good point.”

The Best Outfits:
I wore my traditional Tourist Day polo shirt atrocity and man-bag. sygirl looked the part in a Star Trek top. CM and Pamir looked touristy, but not in a humiliating way. Partial credit. ChocolateBear went the 'sports top from my country' route. Bettomor scored points for being Chinese and having a white sun visor.

Best Accessory:
Pamir's edited Wikipedia entry for Bern, with fake facts: “The population of Bern is 82.4% female.”

And so it began! We all lined up and GermanGirl (GG) asked a local to take our pic. She scored double points by asking for a retake. We scored points for touching fountains, and there are loads of them. We scored points for talking to strangers. Pamir took the (bizzare) Scientology stress test but didn't convert. CB got photos of the Medicin Sans Frontiers guys. We made people laugh with our 'rude photo' antics – especially the ones with the chess pieces. We (I) scared some boy scouts.

We saw the bears. So cute! Although it seemed like one was eating his own poo and then humping a stick.

The suicide bridge is interesting. They let you kill yourself from the middle, into the river, but the bits above land are wired off. They don't want you landing on their BMWs.

We did tons of fun stuff, but after a couple of hours the heat was unbearable. We tried to stay in the shade, looked for air-conditioned bars (not many, or any, it seems), and even took time out in the Munster.

Chilling in the Einstein cafe (“Is this where Einstein was born?” “No.”) the Bern-based guys started leaving for other appointments. This came shortly after a man got himself all naked in a nearby fountain. “Go talk to him,” I said to the women near me. “There's no point,” said one, “He's getting dressed again.”

The people with local knowledge having left, we went into Starbucks to use their toilet and ask where the fun places were. “Um,” said the girl, thinking hard, “I think there's a couple of bars that way.” The Zurchers thought about going home, but chose to stay and eat dinner in Bern. The choice was pizza, pizza, pizza, or asian. We sat on the balcony of the asian place and marvelled at the slow pace of life in Bern.

We had a fun train ride back to Zurich (thanks, alcohol) and decided to get booze from Coop. It cost 21.20 – GG handed over a 50 and reached into her purse to get the coins. “Oh, sorry,” said the Coop woman, “I've already closed the till. I thought you were tourists.” The perfect end to the day!

Summary:
* It's much easier to pretend to be a tourist when you're really a tourist
* Smaller groups are better (10-12 seems a good number)
* Bern is beautiful and people are friendly but it's a bit slow
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  #34  
Old 21.08.2011, 14:15
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Here's the pics I took.

https://picasaweb.google.com/caclob/...eat=directlink
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  #35  
Old 21.08.2011, 16:30
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Super fun times. Thanks everybody for a fun afternoon.
Here are the pics I took.

Last edited by ChocolateBear; 21.08.2011 at 16:42.
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  #36  
Old 21.08.2011, 17:26
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Looks like you guys had a great day!!!

Let us hope that there is a #3.
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  #37  
Old 22.08.2011, 18:11
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Couple more photos:


Guys watching a fellow challenger demand a photo be retaken.


Nice bar! Near the suicide bridge, if you want to go.


Some scouts. The nervous looks on their faces are because while the hot girl was standing next to them, the weird guy with the camera was asking if they were on Facebook.


Pose-off.


Smug after successful day.
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  #38  
Old 22.08.2011, 21:43
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

i live four years in bern and i never heard of a "suicide bridge". did you get the name from a guide?!

...tourists.
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  #39  
Old 22.08.2011, 22:36
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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i live four years in bern and i never heard of a "suicide bridge". did you get the name from a guide?!

...tourists.
After five, you'll be asking for directions

Its the one with nets on the side leading to Hotel Bellevue/Kasino
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