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Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern
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beardsy
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20.08.2011
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City/Town: Bern
Event Type: Other
Meeting Point: Bern

[Dramatic American voice]
LAST SUMMER, there was TOURIST DAY.

THIS YEAR, get ready for ANOTHER ONE.
[/voice]

Tourist Simulator Day is a day of childish fun for people who like fun. More specifically, for people who like the same kind of fun that I do.

What is fun?

Fun means going to Bern and pretending to be stupid tourists.
Fun means asking people for directions to things that don't exist or are far away.
Fun means looking disappointed when locals tell you that the Matterhorn is not in Bern.
Fun means getting excited about some bears.
Fun means interacting with the indigenous population for your, their, and my amusement.

What will we do?

I'll be taking a bunch of people from Zurich HB, and we'll arrive in Bern at about 11:00 am. If anyone comes from elsewhere, we'll meet them in Bern (or Zurich before 10:00).
The person who is least fun on the train will be sent home.
In Bern, I'll split everyone into small teams. Those teams will walk around and do beardy's Bernish Tourist Simulator Challenge (see post below). That involves doing silly, fun things and seeing as much of Bern as possible, but especially the bears, which are the most important bit.
The person who loves the bears the least will be sent home.
Each group will have a leader, and each group will contain someone who was on Tourist Day #1, so they know what to expect.
After walking around looking at stuff and doing challenge tasks, we'll try to meet somewhere and eat together.
The bits about sending people home aren't true. I said it to annoy you. It'd be cool though.

Who should come
* The schedule of the day will vary from group to group - it won't be planned in great detail. It will be chaotic and silly. If you're a control freak who likes to have every second of his future planned, this isn't for you! If you're chilled and easy-going, and don't react with disturbing amounts of stress at life's complications, think about coming. If you're the kind of person who gets stressed that restaurants haven't been booked, don't come.
* People who are genuinely new in Switzerland and want to meet some cool ex-pats. This is for you! Jaded, world-weary guys who just want to come to have something to complain about, this isn't for you.
* People for whom the idea of talking to strangers about ludicrous things is outside their comfort zone, but do-able.
* People who, in the words of my hot French friend - "Will do anything you want. [long pause]. No, not that."

Who shouldn't come
* Last year, most people walked to the nearest bar and sat drinking for three hours. That's obviously a nice way to spend the day, but it's not the point of Tourist Day.
* Grumpy people. Complainers. People who expect to be entertained instead of adding value.
* People who hate me (AKA people who have met me already)
* People who think they are fun but are not

Summary
I don't want a huge group. I have a bunch of cool people coming already, and ideally would just bring a few more. If I have to limit the numbers for my own mental well-being, I'll give priority to people who are new to Switzerland.

And remember - FUN.
RSVP'd Yes: 11 (7 members and 4 guests)
  • sygirl101
  • Pamir
  • bettomor - I'm new to Switzerland, but living in Bern now. As for the simulabor challenge below, may I ask (with a scared trembling voice) if I would be sent home if I can only do 1/3 of it?
  • beardsy + 3 guests - (Note to self) AW, CM, NB
  • darwiniandemon + 1 guest - Moved to Bern last month and am itching to explore the city like a stupid tourist.
  • ChocolateBear - Sounds like my kind of fun. I am in and also a newbie in Bern.
  • a_junebug - If there is room I'd like to join in. I am new ... :)
RSVP'd Maybe: 3 (3 members and No guests)
  • Mayaprincess - Hi, I live near Geneva but would love to join if I'm in the country :)
  • zwissmiss - only if it is raining
  • MsWorWoo - This sounds like fun, I've not even moved to Zurich yet so I think I might be a real tourist :) Only problem is, is my 3 year old allowed, or is she not fun?
RSVP'd No: 10
  • Bumble-Bee - Guys i am so sorry to let you down but something came up and i have to go visit the family! :( hope you enjoy it nevertheless
  • Wakey - This does sound like fun, but unfortunately I already have other commitments :( maybe next year!
  • colinwheeler - Damn, I so wish I could come along but am moving that day....Maybe next year! So you guys had best make this year a success!
  • terramundi - I read about the whole Zurich tourist day last year and it looked excellent! Sadly I have something else on that day. Will you do Basel next year?
  • The Boot - sorry realised I can't do it. Have fun!
  • c123 - 'wrong' weekend for me unfortuantely.
  • Tj88 - sorry, something came up.. maybe next time
  • KeinFranzösisch - sounds like a LOAD of fun but I might be on a date with a Frenchy that day...
  • JustRose - sorry, can no longer make it, maybe next year!
  • meshell555
RSVP sign-ups for this event are now closed.
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  #2  
Old 30.06.2011, 18:38
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

beardsy's Tourist Simulator Challenge

Tourist Simulators (that's you guys) will be given a checklist of things to do.

The checklist will include things like this:

* Dress appropriately (bonus points for front and rear backpacks)
* Ask a Swiss person if the weather is always this good/bad in Sweden
* Ask a policeman for directions
* Take photos of food
* Ask strangers to take photos of you
- Show disappointment and ask them to retake because it wasnt a good shot - twice or more.
* Pose for an amusing photo in the style of these
* Take ages counting out rappen to pay for something with
* Ask a local to identify your location on a map [double points if it's a map of Stockholm, Zurich in 1780, or hand-drawn
* Ask a shop if they sell stamps
* Ask someone if the bears are open today
* Ask 'How much is that in REAL money?'
* Have a camera and a video camera, use both at the same time.
* Pretend you speak German by speaking English with a German accent.
Ver can ve see ze bears?
* Ask a local if the parliament building is 'where DJ Bobo lives'


Places to go -
bears
arcade thing

Last edited by beardsy; 01.07.2011 at 13:10.
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  #3  
Old 27.07.2011, 13:23
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Guys guys whats happening?? are we still on or not??
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  #4  
Old 27.07.2011, 15:41
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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Guys guys whats happening?? are we still on or not??
Of course. Why not?

There'll be more activity in here nearer the time. I'm off to Helsinki this weekend so I'm not really thinking about Bern.
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Old 06.08.2011, 17:20
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

I am so excited. Its something new and different and right up my ally of playfully making people uncomfortable.
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  #6  
Old 11.08.2011, 15:46
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

I've come up with a new concept for Tourist Day 2.
You'll get some sort of map like this, and you have to visit as many marked places as possible. I'm thinking of making it so that you have to ask a stranger to sign your sheet to show that you were there.

"Am I here?"
"Yes."
"Please sign this."
"Why?"
"Because... there's this thing on the internet. And... I have to go to these places because... of reasons. And... um..."
"Just give me the pen."

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  #7  
Old 11.08.2011, 16:02
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

* Ask what time the bears start fighting
* Take along a Lonely Planet Berlin and look confused. Point to the clock tower and ask if it's the Brandenburg Gate.
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  #8  
Old 12.08.2011, 16:23
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

You guys are evil.

I approve
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Old 14.08.2011, 17:16
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Ok I am in. Where are we meeting in Bern at 11:00. I may even try a fake Southern accent and refer to everyone as honey (I'm from Boston).

Now the only question is, where do I find a big money belt/neck passport holder??
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  #10  
Old 14.08.2011, 18:09
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Ask if the McDonalds in the centre of town is really the one where Einstein worked when he discovered the theory of relativity.
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Old 14.08.2011, 18:09
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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Ok I am in. Where are we meeting in Bern at 11:00. I may even try a fake Southern accent and refer to everyone as honey (I'm from Boston).

Now the only question is, where do I find a big money belt/neck passport holder??
And VERY white trainers (sneakers)
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  #12  
Old 15.08.2011, 12:02
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

bonus for wearing
this http://rlv.zcache.com/100_swiss_cap_...34uh2y_400.jpg
or this http://www.kristypage.net/wp-content...2/DSCN3707.jpg
or even this http://www.rhymeandreasonsite.xbuild...4513612216.jpg
???

i sadly cant come!!!
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  #13  
Old 15.08.2011, 18:25
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

WoW! Unfortunately I can't come. But this sounds so marvelously amazing! I hope there'll be a Tourist Day #3 some time in the future.

Looking at the list, I think I'd score pretty high... I tend to do a good number of these things wherever I live (no matter how log).
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Old 16.08.2011, 11:03
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

What was the arrest / touristcide on the Tourist Day #1. Do you think that the rate will increase or decrease on #2?
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Old 16.08.2011, 11:50
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Just realized this is on the same day as Toblerone's Schoggifest in Bern.
Can a detour be made?
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Old 16.08.2011, 15:19
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

Wow! That's amazing. If it's something we can go and gawk at, it's a MUST. It seems to be in Waisenhausplatz, which seems to be in the centre.

"Where can I buy some Tobler-two?"
"Will the schoggiquiz be in English?"

Great find!
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Old 16.08.2011, 15:39
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

"Toblerone hurts my mouth. Do you have anything less pointy?"
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Old 16.08.2011, 15:45
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

I was going to post one of my favourite facts here...that Einstein patented the Toblerone bar when he worked in Bern....but I checked it before I pressed "submit" and apparently its an urban myth! Gutted!
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Old 16.08.2011, 17:40
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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I was going to post one of my favourite facts here...that Einstein patented the Toblerone bar when he worked in Bern....but I checked it before I pressed "submit" and apparently its an urban myth! Gutted!
Things that should be true, but aren't.
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Old 16.08.2011, 18:54
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Re: Tourist Simulator Day #2 - Bern

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Things that should be true, but aren't.
Thats gotta be a thread one quiet day...
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