Ask an English speaker who uses the pronoun it. Or stop using it and that.

All this der, die, das is getting my knickers in a twist. die unterwasche, der bustenhalter, die lingerie, das unterhemd? The Germans are sticklers for following rules but here I sense and identity crisis?

well, just to be a bit nitpicking, it is
Unterwäsche ... or .... UnterWAESCHE
Büstenhalter .... or .... BUEstenhalter

and second
die Wäsche is washed by females
der Halter is held by males
das Hemd is worn by males & females

You want to play with German genders? Here are my two favourites:

- The is a word for women that is masculine: der Backfisch (teeny female)
- The middle age word for woman, Weib, is neutral, an is the same word as English wife... yes dude, you married a neutral being.

Wasn't George Bernard Shaw the one who wanted to reform English spelling so that it was more logical? I've read a funny story about him asking this question as an example -how do we pronounce the word "ghoti"? The answer was "fish".

Any grammar is simple once one has a good grasp of it. It's getting that good grasp....

just as
DAS Mädchen
DAS Bübchen (Büebli)
DER Hausdrachen
DAS Buffet + DER Schrank

And so I did. Here is what he said: "When you lose two consecutive world wars, you have no left but grammar to declare war on...so what is better than a neuter gender?"

I thought it was pretty funny coming from an English speaker...It did make me laugh it is in reference to the high German speakers of course...

I love the Ghoti example... Some more examples of the wonders of English spelling/pronunciation can be found at

http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/funnyeng.htm

e.g. "We must polish the Polish furniture."

The story of 2 guys from the UK visiting Paris, Dave and Tom. A bit nervous as they've never been abroad, and can't speak much French. Been walking for hours and getting peckish, so they go into a restaurant. When they get the menus, they panic as they can't understand anything - but one of them spots 'Soupe du Jour' - and is very proud to recognize the word- and order 'Deux soupes s'il-vous-plait'. A few minutes later, soups arrive, and Tom sees there is a fly on his soup. He remembers he has a pocket dictionary with him, and looks 'fly' up, and calls the waiter 'Garçon, un mouche dans ma soup!' - waiter looks over his shoulder and replies 'mais non Monsieur, c'est UNE mouche pas un mouche' and walks away. Dave has a good look and says 'Cor - he's got bleeding good eyesight'.

Sounds like a post facto way of qualifying your own perceived inadequacies as a 'vibrant cultural statement'. Are you per chance also boycotting competing in the gold medal event in the Olympic freestyle? Or maybe is it more accurate to say that you haven't spent years of dedication and training to become that good at swimming?

It seems like your statement belittles the work ethic and the achievements of those willing to develop themselves, in any sphere.

Perhaps one should consider the age old saying, 'It is not a crime to be ignorant, but it is a crime to stay ignorant'.

Compulsory language test for intending immigrants it's a stupid thing, I see it as a failed attempt to hide official xenophobia. Nevertheless, learning the local language is a priceless asset, no matter how good or bad at languages we are, it's better (for our well-being) to give the local lingo a try.

"official" ? The proposal does NOT come from a state-official, but from a private business-tycoon

I still find it absurd that to become Swiss (in the "German" part) you must get a good pass in a formal language (High German) that most Swiss do not use, most speak Dialect.
See http://www.tagesanzeiger.ch/zuerich/...story/29866778
for an example of the sort of test you have to pass to become Swiss, entirely in High German.
Try it & see how you do.

17 years ago when I came here in Zürich almost everbody spoke Dialect & practically nobody High German. It was difficult to persuade people to use High German in everyday discussion; e.g I do not want to speak that sh*t.
I had project colleagues from Germany who used English language to order in restaurants & shops because of the negative personal reaction they got from the staff when they used High German.
Now High German is used practically everywhere; many people working in restaurants & shops now are anyway German or High German speaking.

If I had to take the Cambridge Proficiency in Glasgow, which language would they test me in?

BUT practically NOBODY in German speaking Switzerland WRITES in dialect (exception is a particular English-speaking member of this forum, who is able to use dialect in writing ) . And, speaking a "wrong" dialect is unacceptable. I mean if you as a foreigner here in Zürich speak "Baaaseltiitsch" you can forget it, if you speak "Bärntüütsch" in Schaffhausen you will not get many points either !