Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Swiss politics/news  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 26.08.2012, 10:08
Rangatiranui's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Baden region
Posts: 2,182
Groaned at 14 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 2,464 Times in 1,086 Posts
Rangatiranui has a reputation beyond reputeRangatiranui has a reputation beyond reputeRangatiranui has a reputation beyond reputeRangatiranui has a reputation beyond reputeRangatiranui has a reputation beyond reputeRangatiranui has a reputation beyond repute
Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

The reformed church has made a decision to no longer allow a paster to work in their services, after he began a sexual relationship with one of the people who came to him for comforting/solace/help.

Now, unlike their catholic counterparts, pastors are allowed to have sex (thanks, Henry ). It is not even a question of an unwilling sex partner.
It is said that this is not just a question of romantic liaisons, it is an ethical question of abusing your position of power.

Are pastors in the same category as doctors? No sex with patients? After a short hospital stay last year, i did find this thought to be rather frustrating Some are just sooo cute. And clever too

Which other jobs have this "no romance" clause written in the fine print? And what happens if the spark does ignite?

Here is the article in German.
http://www.reformiert.info/artikel_11535.html
__________________
11. Knowing deep down that you gave your dreams a fair chance. – Most of the time the only difference between a dream that came true and one that didn’t, is a person who wouldn’t give up and one who did.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Rangatiranui for this useful post:
  #2  
Old 26.08.2012, 10:09
swisspea's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: From one side of lake Zurich t
Posts: 6,356
Groaned at 42 Times in 31 Posts
Thanked 6,459 Times in 2,966 Posts
swisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

psychologists, social workers, teachers...
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 26.08.2012, 10:15
fatmanfilms's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Verbier
Posts: 21,376
Groaned at 461 Times in 352 Posts
Thanked 23,091 Times in 11,824 Posts
fatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
View Post
psychologists, social workers, teachers...
A girl from school married an Art teacher, still married after 30 years WTF is wrong with that?
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank fatmanfilms for this useful post:
  #4  
Old 26.08.2012, 10:20
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Wadenswil Zurich
Posts: 162
Groaned at 5 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 228 Times in 88 Posts
golly is considered knowledgeablegolly is considered knowledgeablegolly is considered knowledgeable
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

It would depend wouldn't it? On whether it was an open relationship based on love, or a sordid one based on abuse of position and sex.
Please note my opinion is not necessarily the same as the church where one might be condemned and the other covered up.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank golly for this useful post:
  #5  
Old 26.08.2012, 10:30
sarel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Zürich
Posts: 358
Groaned at 12 Times in 7 Posts
Thanked 293 Times in 160 Posts
sarel has an excellent reputationsarel has an excellent reputationsarel has an excellent reputationsarel has an excellent reputation
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

Well she did feel the need to report it to the board, so I guess, she didn't feel right about it.
I guess, if a priest falls in love and is open to his church and congregation about wanting to marry and plays it by the books (marriage THEN sex), there won't be a problem.
But it wasn't about love, it was only about sex and I don't know any church which accepts that.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank sarel for this useful post:
  #6  
Old 26.08.2012, 10:36
NotAllThere's Avatar
Modulo 2
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Baselland
Posts: 14,550
Groaned at 280 Times in 239 Posts
Thanked 21,883 Times in 8,863 Posts
NotAllThere has a reputation beyond reputeNotAllThere has a reputation beyond reputeNotAllThere has a reputation beyond reputeNotAllThere has a reputation beyond reputeNotAllThere has a reputation beyond reputeNotAllThere has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

If he was married to someone else at time, then that's probably frowned upon as well - rather more so than other professions!
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank NotAllThere for this useful post:
  #7  
Old 26.08.2012, 11:10
Rangatiranui's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Baden region
Posts: 2,182
Groaned at 14 Times in 13 Posts
Thanked 2,464 Times in 1,086 Posts
Rangatiranui has a reputation beyond reputeRangatiranui has a reputation beyond reputeRangatiranui has a reputation beyond reputeRangatiranui has a reputation beyond reputeRangatiranui has a reputation beyond reputeRangatiranui has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

Quote:
View Post
Well she did feel the need to report it to the board, so I guess, she didn't feel right about it.
Did she report it to the board, or was it "a concerned friend"?*

Did he even report it to the board, in an attempt to be open and honest?

What was it that someone didnt feel right about?

I mean, he wouldn't be the first to lose his career for "love".. remember Eddy and Wally?**


*please note, that just because the media reports things to happen in a certain way, the truth may be written between the lines.

** Edward VIII & Wallis Simpson.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 26.08.2012, 12:50
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: ZH
Posts: 987
Groaned at 24 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 1,344 Times in 501 Posts
arrow has a reputation beyond reputearrow has a reputation beyond reputearrow has a reputation beyond reputearrow has a reputation beyond reputearrow has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

I married my dental hygiene patient...

Still together, 25 years later..
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 26.08.2012, 13:11
Assassin's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Chasing clouds
Posts: 4,023
Groaned at 180 Times in 123 Posts
Thanked 11,560 Times in 3,148 Posts
Assassin has a reputation beyond reputeAssassin has a reputation beyond reputeAssassin has a reputation beyond reputeAssassin has a reputation beyond reputeAssassin has a reputation beyond reputeAssassin has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

Quote:
View Post
I married my dental hygiene patient...

Still together, 25 years later..
The teeth or the relationship?
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank Assassin for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 26.08.2012, 14:22
sarel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Zürich
Posts: 358
Groaned at 12 Times in 7 Posts
Thanked 293 Times in 160 Posts
sarel has an excellent reputationsarel has an excellent reputationsarel has an excellent reputationsarel has an excellent reputation
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

Quote:
View Post
Did she report it to the board, or was it "a concerned friend"?*

Did he even report it to the board, in an attempt to be open and honest?

What was it that someone didnt feel right about?

I mean, he wouldn't be the first to lose his career for "love".. remember Eddy and Wally?**


*please note, that just because the media reports things to happen in a certain way, the truth may be written between the lines.

** Edward VIII & Wallis Simpson.

She reported it herself...
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 26.08.2012, 14:42
Sbrinz's Avatar
RIP
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Murten - Morat
Posts: 11,866
Groaned at 563 Times in 354 Posts
Thanked 11,548 Times in 5,941 Posts
Sbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

Then maybe she thought it was love, and he thought he was on to a good thing?

I think forum moderators should also avoid taking people to bed, that could also be seen as an abuse of power.

Whether to ban a relationship depends really on the varying degrees of professional dependance, and in the varying degrees of age difference. If an older maths student had sex with a very young art teacher that might be OK, but a young female employee and an old boss would not be OK.

In Switzerland sex with juveniles is treated differently if their age differences are less than 10 years. I think this is spot on, when considering a relationship, is it really love or is it an abuse?
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 26.08.2012, 14:54
cheesey's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Zurich
Posts: 1,144
Groaned at 25 Times in 22 Posts
Thanked 1,784 Times in 574 Posts
cheesey has a reputation beyond reputecheesey has a reputation beyond reputecheesey has a reputation beyond reputecheesey has a reputation beyond reputecheesey has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

This could save him his church tax.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 26.08.2012, 14:54
Uncle Max's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Züri
Posts: 7,553
Groaned at 164 Times in 105 Posts
Thanked 8,424 Times in 3,486 Posts
Uncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

Quote:
View Post
I think forum moderators should also avoid taking people to bed, that could also be seen as an abuse of power.
Honey, if we had the skills to take people to bed, we wouldn't be moderating a internetz Forum...
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Uncle Max for this useful post:
  #14  
Old 26.08.2012, 15:14
Textoch's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Texas, USA (formerly Vaud, CH)
Posts: 1,201
Groaned at 25 Times in 23 Posts
Thanked 3,058 Times in 937 Posts
Textoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond reputeTextoch has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

Clergy, social workers, psychologists = positions in which others confide in someone else, particularly during times of extreme emotional upheaval. Those who are revealing details in confidence may therefore be vulnerable to an emotional connection that is not conventional in comparison to "normal" relationships. That is why people in those positions are generally expected not to overstep the bounds of a "client" relationship by entering into a sexual relationship.

In terms of the church, even if the adults are all of consenting age, a clergy member who enters a sexual relationship with a church member is putting him/herself at risk for the fallout described by the OP. Most people will see the clergy member as the person who crossed a line in the situation, since (s)he was not influenced by any sort of mental or emotional dysfunction, as opposed to the person being counseled.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Textoch for this useful post:
  #15  
Old 26.08.2012, 20:50
Assassin's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Chasing clouds
Posts: 4,023
Groaned at 180 Times in 123 Posts
Thanked 11,560 Times in 3,148 Posts
Assassin has a reputation beyond reputeAssassin has a reputation beyond reputeAssassin has a reputation beyond reputeAssassin has a reputation beyond reputeAssassin has a reputation beyond reputeAssassin has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

Quote:
View Post
Honey, if we had the skills to take people to bed, we wouldn't be moderating a internetz Forum...
I love this place. Now UM is categorizing our participation here as an admission of sexual failure. I'd challenge the presumption, but gotta go, she's waking up ...
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 26.08.2012, 21:41
olygirl's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: d' Innerschwiiz
Posts: 7,636
Groaned at 416 Times in 279 Posts
Thanked 17,944 Times in 5,550 Posts
olygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond reputeolygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

Gynocologists
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank olygirl for this useful post:
  #17  
Old 27.08.2012, 21:14
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Bern
Posts: 196
Groaned at 3 Times in 1 Post
Thanked 177 Times in 72 Posts
EvenPar has earned the respect of manyEvenPar has earned the respect of manyEvenPar has earned the respect of many
Re: Sex after Solace - Pastor, we've got to let you go

In the words of the great Winnipeg philosopher and Vinyl Tap host, Randy Bachman, "any loving is good loving" -

To be loving it must be consensual, that is the problem with a relationship involving a person in authority (moral or legal) and their charge.

Disclaimer: It gets very cold in Winnipeg so some liberties are accepted.
Reply With Quote
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Trusting people again after you've been disappointed - how did you manage it? Kittster General off-topic 48 28.10.2012 11:32
Unfairly let go after 2 weeks? swissroller Employment 2 20.02.2012 14:20
How Long does it take to hear if you've got the apartment Crazy Bird Housing in general 13 22.05.2011 16:24
why do you come in Switzerland before you've got a job Bertrand - Geneva Other/general 72 24.07.2010 17:22
I've got LOVELY neighbours, and I want to tell you all about it! Guest General off-topic 16 10.08.2009 01:41


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 06:19.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0